Hogwarts Too Exposed Chapter 4 part 3

[szaleniec1000]

If it's possible to write a Diagon Alley visit without intentionally or otherwise ripping off the books, I haven't seen it yet.

Comments

[danel4d]

AT first I thought 'paroxysm' was his new word-a-day calendar showing, but checking the meaning of the word, I wouldn't say he's actually using it quite correctly.

And I agree that the Q&A is weird - almost anything the girls say could essentially be replaced with "Do go on," or "Pray continue,". As it is, it really does seem weirdly rehearsed, with their lines being essentially perfect spurs to Hermione's monologue, rather than actual questions.

But I think you may have lost focus here... the thing I notice about line isn't the continuity fail:
If my parents were living, my Dad would perform a special ceremony before Alex and I joined.
but how horribly creepy is the idea of Daddy performing a 'special ceremony' to mark his daughter's defloration. It's almost like Purity Balls, only immeasurably more creepy, something that I previously wouldn't have believed possible.

Would he actually be in the same room, or just outside the door?

[szaleniec1000]

It is a pretty bad continuity error, but you're right. My brain must have shut down in self defence when I considered it.

[sickbritkid2]

I don't blame ya, man.

"Special ceremonies" in the context of this fanfiction, especially considering how Jamie's father basically said "I like that guy. You should shag him!", take on incredible amounts of creepiness when you keep in mind that the author's an unrepentant pedophile.

As I've said before: Jamie being molested by her father is now my personal canon for this series, considering just how gorram CREEPY that sentence was.

[duster]

Oh God I thought it was like a way more creepy purity ball too!

[sith_droideka]

A what now?

[szaleniec1000]

There's a Wikipedia article on them, but I think this sums up the whole thing best.