Forever
Title: Forever
Author: Syv
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Royai
Challenge: 30themesongs
Theme: Fan
Theme Song: “Don’t Say You Love Me” by The Corrs
Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of the characters, nor do I own the song used in this fic.
Word Count: 1 920
Note: I apologize for the OOC-ness of Riza, both in this fic and the previous one. I don’t know why, but she just comes out like that as I write. -.- Oh, and I forgot to put translations for those who didn’t understand the very few Japanese words I put in. I've edited it and I'm putting translations for this one.
“Taisa”: Colonel
I think that’s it. Anyway, I’m inviting people to join my poor comm on LJ, 30themesongs. Please, please, PLEASE join and write for the comm! I’m begging here! XD Thanks, and much love! <3
Another day had come and gone filled with the antics that had become a common occurrence in the office Colonel Roy Mustang shared with his loyal subordinates at Central Headquarters. As the day finally came to a close, the dark-eyed Colonel stood to leave, giving the idea that he was to be off on another of his infamous dates. Having finished their work, his male subordinates prepared to leave the office as well. As he took his leave, a pair of amber eyes followed his form until he vanished behind the door. Not long after, the office had soon emptied of its occupants save for the owner of the amber eyes.
First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye sighed softly to herself once she was left alone. It was always like this. She’d be left in this darkened office while her Colonel would indulge himself with one of the ditzy girls he managed to find some place or other. She then let out a humorless chuckle. Her Colonel? Yeah right. Who was she to call him hers? If anything, she was probably just another one of his many admirers. After all, she couldn’t deny that he was handsome. Okay, maybe not just handsome. He was drop-dead gorgeous really. That was the reason almost the entire female population felt at his feet to begin with. That wasn’t the only reason she loved him though. Yes, she loved her Colonel. Riza could only let out another soft sigh as she glanced around the empty office.
I’ve seen this place a thousand times
I’ve felt this all before
And every time you call
I’ve waited there as though you might not call at all
Memories flooded Riza’s mind as she stood up and moved to the window behind her Colonel’s desk. For years now, she had been following this man and doing all she could to help him reach his goal. She had taken all his orders without question, and she had stayed always two steps behind him. She lived to protect him and support him. She believed in him and his dream. Above all, she loved him.
She didn’t love him for his looks alone. She had seen him at his best and at his worst. She had watched him fend off the nightmares born from his guilt and regrets. She had stood by him when most found his decisions irrational. She had understood how much he cared for the Elric brothers despite how he expressed it. She had felt his despair when he learned of Maes’s death. She didn’t know when she fell in love with him. It could have been just now or long before. She just did, and if one looked close enough, they could see it in her eyes. She knew she saw it, and she took great caution to make sure no one else did. It was only in dark and quiet moments such as the present one when she could be just a bit less guarded and revel in the depth of her emotions.
I know this face I’m wearing now
I’ve seen this in my eyes
And though it feels so great
I’m still afraid that you’ll be leaving anytime
She knew such feelings were forbidden. The military didn’t allow any such relationships between comrades, much less between a superior and his subordinate. She would never forgive herself if she ever compromised the Colonel’s chances at achieving his goal. Besides, she knew that she was the last person he would ever fall in love with anyway, as could be seen in his choice of dates. He didn’t love her, and it hurt. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to love him any less.
We’ve done this once and then you closed the door
Don’t let me fall again for nothing more
Don’t say you love me unless forever
Don’t tell me you need me if you’re not gonna stay
Don’t give me this feeling, I’ll only believe it
Make it real or take it all away
Riza decided she had stayed alone long enough. She made her way back to her desk where she picked up her bag and jacket. Taking one last glance around the empty room, she left the office and closed the door behind her. As she walked into the chilly evening air, her mind couldn’t help but wander back to her previous thoughts.
Roy Mustang. He was such an enigma. For someone with such high goals, she couldn’t believe how lazy he was. How many bullet holes did she have to put in their office for him to work? She couldn’t help laughing a bit at that. He could be really infuriating too, as can be seen when he interacts with Ed. Those two were like brothers when they started fighting. She couldn’t stop the small smile that graced her features as she thought of him.
‘What would life be like if Roy and I could be together?’ Riza wondered.
She couldn’t stop the thought from straying into her mind. She would never admit it, but she had often dreamed of life with Roy. She knew she longed for his touch and his love. She would sometimes wish the circumstances were much different. She would berate herself then, forcing herself to focus on Roy’s goal. It really didn’t matter how long she’d have to put up with her pains. For Roy, she would do anything.
I’ve caught myself smiling alone
Just thinking of your voice
And dreaming of your touch is all too much
You know I don’t have any choice
Riza was beginning to think she was some sort of fangirl or something, the way she kept thinking of him. No one but her knew that she always kept a picture of him with her. It had been a gift from Maes. In it, Roy was smiling for once. It wasn’t the usual smirk he had. In the picture, even his eyes had a light in them. She guessed it must have been taken before the Ishbal massacre. Roy had never lost that haunted look in his eyes after that incident. She sighed again to herself. Really, she sometimes cursed her love for the man. As long as it was him, she had trouble keeping the emotions from overwhelming her.
Don’t say you love me unless forever
Don’t tell me you need me if you’re not gonna stay
Don’t give me this feeling, I’ll only believe it
Make it real or take it all away
Just then, Riza happened to look up from her gaze on the pavement only to face a sight she’d have been happier not seeing at all. On the opposite side of the street stood a beautiful girl with curly auburn locks and a body men like Havoc would have trouble stopping a nosebleed for. It really didn’t help that the girl’s clothing left little to the imagination. Of course, Riza wouldn’t have spared this girl a glance at all if it weren’t for the man standing with his arm around her. It was Roy.
It only took one glance at that scene before Riza turned tail and ran. In all honesty, such a reaction was beyond her. She knew that. In most cases, Riza would have analyzed the entire situation before making a single move. She had no idea what possessed her at that moment, but her feet had already begun to move before she could even think about what she was doing. Perhaps it would have been better if she had taken the time to examine the scene carefully before anything though, for if she had taken one look at Roy’s eyes, she would have understood. Roy didn’t feel anything for the girl in his arms.
We’ve done this once and then you closed the door
Don’t let me fall again for nothing more
As Riza ran, she didn’t realize that her superior was much more perceptive than he let on. Despite the soundlessness of her arrival and departure, Roy had noticed Riza when she turned and ran. His eyes widened at the sight of her. Without a single word to the girl standing right next to him, he left her in pursuit of his Lieutenant.
Riza had run all the way to her apartment. She was standing in front of her door, breathing heavily after the unexpected run. Her heart beat rapidly, but she had a feeling that the run was not the cause of it. She placed her hand over her eyes as if to make sure tears hadn’t started streaming down her face.
“Hawkeye?” a familiar voice made her eyes widen as her hand dropped to her side.
“T-Taisa!”
Riza was surprised to say the least. Wasn’t he just with that girl? Don’t say he...
Composing herself, Riza said in a voice meant to be monotone, “Weren’t you on a date, sir? Don’t tell me you left her alone? Your reputation might be ruined with such impulsive actions.”
Roy stared at her with an emotion Riza couldn’t identify in his dark eyes.
“Taisa?”
“It doesn’t matter,” was Roy’s response.
When his gaze wavered just a bit, Riza thought that something was bothering him which was more pressing than his playboy reputation, and she refused to turn him away if that was the case. She promised herself and him that she would protect him, whether it was from people making attempts at his life or his invisible foes.
“Taisa, would you like to come in for some tea?”
Roy was just a bit startled at her offer, but nodded his head nonetheless. The two then proceeded inside where Riza directed him to the couch as she made her way to the kitchen to prepare the tea. Once the tea was ready, Riza brought the two cups to the living room and placed them on the small table in front of the couch her superior was currently sitting on with his eyes downcast.
“Taisa? Your tea, sir,” Riza’s voice broke Roy from his reverie.
“Arigatou, Riza. You don’t have to call me ‘Taisa’, you know. We are outside of work. It’s Roy.”
Riza didn’t say anything to that. Instead, she looked at him silently for a few moments before deciding to find out what was troubling him.
“Tai-”
“Roy,” Roy corrected her.
Raising her eyebrow, Riza corrected herself and continued, “Roy, why... what’s wrong?”
Roy chuckled softly, “You do know me so well, Riza.”
Not replying to that comment, Riza only stared at him, as if coaxing him to talk with her eyes. Roy only sighed.
“I... I have to confess something to you, Riza.”
Riza looked puzzled, so Roy continued, “I know it’s forbidden, but...”
Oh no, he was not going to say it. She wouldn’t allow it. Considering the fact that she had wanted him to tell her this for a long, long time, but she had just told herself that she would in no way compromise his chances at his goal. Besides, it hurt her more to think she might end up the same way as all his other “fans” - a one night stand.
“Taisa, with all due respect, it is getting late, and it would not do for you to stay here any longer. The military may question why you are at your subordinate’s home so late at night. It would bring unnecessary hindrances towards your goal, sir.”
Roy looked at the firm set of her mouth, almost believing his feelings were unreciprocated. That was until he saw the light in her amber eyes that looked so much like the very fire he knew was in his own whenever he caught himself looking at the mirror. He smiled gently.
“Riza, I won’t say it until I become Fuhrer.”
With that, Roy glanced meaningfully into her eyes one last time before standing up and heading for the door. Riza was rather unsettled by Roy’s words, but that last look was enough for her to understand everything as she saw him out of her house.
Don’t say you love me unless forever
Don’t tell me you need me if you’re not gonna stay
Don’t give me this feeling, I’ll only believe it
Make it real or take it all away
Riza understood, as did Roy. He wouldn’t say it until he became Fuhrer. He wouldn’t say it until they were free from irrational laws. He wouldn’t say it until he could stay in her house without being accused of anything unseemly. He wouldn’t say it until he could devote all his time and efforts for her and her alone. He wouldn’t say it until he could prove it.
It may take a long time, but that was all right with them, because even if he wouldn’t say it, even if he didn’t say it, they knew and understood. Forever could wait.
x-posted to 30themesongs, royai_fiction, het_romance and anime_fanfics.
Author: Syv
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Royai
Challenge: 30themesongs
Theme: Fan
Theme Song: “Don’t Say You Love Me” by The Corrs
Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of the characters, nor do I own the song used in this fic.
Word Count: 1 920
Note: I apologize for the OOC-ness of Riza, both in this fic and the previous one. I don’t know why, but she just comes out like that as I write. -.- Oh, and I forgot to put translations for those who didn’t understand the very few Japanese words I put in. I've edited it and I'm putting translations for this one.
“Taisa”: Colonel
I think that’s it. Anyway, I’m inviting people to join my poor comm on LJ, 30themesongs. Please, please, PLEASE join and write for the comm! I’m begging here! XD Thanks, and much love! <3
Another day had come and gone filled with the antics that had become a common occurrence in the office Colonel Roy Mustang shared with his loyal subordinates at Central Headquarters. As the day finally came to a close, the dark-eyed Colonel stood to leave, giving the idea that he was to be off on another of his infamous dates. Having finished their work, his male subordinates prepared to leave the office as well. As he took his leave, a pair of amber eyes followed his form until he vanished behind the door. Not long after, the office had soon emptied of its occupants save for the owner of the amber eyes.
First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye sighed softly to herself once she was left alone. It was always like this. She’d be left in this darkened office while her Colonel would indulge himself with one of the ditzy girls he managed to find some place or other. She then let out a humorless chuckle. Her Colonel? Yeah right. Who was she to call him hers? If anything, she was probably just another one of his many admirers. After all, she couldn’t deny that he was handsome. Okay, maybe not just handsome. He was drop-dead gorgeous really. That was the reason almost the entire female population felt at his feet to begin with. That wasn’t the only reason she loved him though. Yes, she loved her Colonel. Riza could only let out another soft sigh as she glanced around the empty office.
I’ve seen this place a thousand times
I’ve felt this all before
And every time you call
I’ve waited there as though you might not call at all
Memories flooded Riza’s mind as she stood up and moved to the window behind her Colonel’s desk. For years now, she had been following this man and doing all she could to help him reach his goal. She had taken all his orders without question, and she had stayed always two steps behind him. She lived to protect him and support him. She believed in him and his dream. Above all, she loved him.
She didn’t love him for his looks alone. She had seen him at his best and at his worst. She had watched him fend off the nightmares born from his guilt and regrets. She had stood by him when most found his decisions irrational. She had understood how much he cared for the Elric brothers despite how he expressed it. She had felt his despair when he learned of Maes’s death. She didn’t know when she fell in love with him. It could have been just now or long before. She just did, and if one looked close enough, they could see it in her eyes. She knew she saw it, and she took great caution to make sure no one else did. It was only in dark and quiet moments such as the present one when she could be just a bit less guarded and revel in the depth of her emotions.
I know this face I’m wearing now
I’ve seen this in my eyes
And though it feels so great
I’m still afraid that you’ll be leaving anytime
She knew such feelings were forbidden. The military didn’t allow any such relationships between comrades, much less between a superior and his subordinate. She would never forgive herself if she ever compromised the Colonel’s chances at achieving his goal. Besides, she knew that she was the last person he would ever fall in love with anyway, as could be seen in his choice of dates. He didn’t love her, and it hurt. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to love him any less.
We’ve done this once and then you closed the door
Don’t let me fall again for nothing more
Don’t say you love me unless forever
Don’t tell me you need me if you’re not gonna stay
Don’t give me this feeling, I’ll only believe it
Make it real or take it all away
Riza decided she had stayed alone long enough. She made her way back to her desk where she picked up her bag and jacket. Taking one last glance around the empty room, she left the office and closed the door behind her. As she walked into the chilly evening air, her mind couldn’t help but wander back to her previous thoughts.
Roy Mustang. He was such an enigma. For someone with such high goals, she couldn’t believe how lazy he was. How many bullet holes did she have to put in their office for him to work? She couldn’t help laughing a bit at that. He could be really infuriating too, as can be seen when he interacts with Ed. Those two were like brothers when they started fighting. She couldn’t stop the small smile that graced her features as she thought of him.
‘What would life be like if Roy and I could be together?’ Riza wondered.
She couldn’t stop the thought from straying into her mind. She would never admit it, but she had often dreamed of life with Roy. She knew she longed for his touch and his love. She would sometimes wish the circumstances were much different. She would berate herself then, forcing herself to focus on Roy’s goal. It really didn’t matter how long she’d have to put up with her pains. For Roy, she would do anything.
I’ve caught myself smiling alone
Just thinking of your voice
And dreaming of your touch is all too much
You know I don’t have any choice
Riza was beginning to think she was some sort of fangirl or something, the way she kept thinking of him. No one but her knew that she always kept a picture of him with her. It had been a gift from Maes. In it, Roy was smiling for once. It wasn’t the usual smirk he had. In the picture, even his eyes had a light in them. She guessed it must have been taken before the Ishbal massacre. Roy had never lost that haunted look in his eyes after that incident. She sighed again to herself. Really, she sometimes cursed her love for the man. As long as it was him, she had trouble keeping the emotions from overwhelming her.
Don’t say you love me unless forever
Don’t tell me you need me if you’re not gonna stay
Don’t give me this feeling, I’ll only believe it
Make it real or take it all away
Just then, Riza happened to look up from her gaze on the pavement only to face a sight she’d have been happier not seeing at all. On the opposite side of the street stood a beautiful girl with curly auburn locks and a body men like Havoc would have trouble stopping a nosebleed for. It really didn’t help that the girl’s clothing left little to the imagination. Of course, Riza wouldn’t have spared this girl a glance at all if it weren’t for the man standing with his arm around her. It was Roy.
It only took one glance at that scene before Riza turned tail and ran. In all honesty, such a reaction was beyond her. She knew that. In most cases, Riza would have analyzed the entire situation before making a single move. She had no idea what possessed her at that moment, but her feet had already begun to move before she could even think about what she was doing. Perhaps it would have been better if she had taken the time to examine the scene carefully before anything though, for if she had taken one look at Roy’s eyes, she would have understood. Roy didn’t feel anything for the girl in his arms.
We’ve done this once and then you closed the door
Don’t let me fall again for nothing more
As Riza ran, she didn’t realize that her superior was much more perceptive than he let on. Despite the soundlessness of her arrival and departure, Roy had noticed Riza when she turned and ran. His eyes widened at the sight of her. Without a single word to the girl standing right next to him, he left her in pursuit of his Lieutenant.
Riza had run all the way to her apartment. She was standing in front of her door, breathing heavily after the unexpected run. Her heart beat rapidly, but she had a feeling that the run was not the cause of it. She placed her hand over her eyes as if to make sure tears hadn’t started streaming down her face.
“Hawkeye?” a familiar voice made her eyes widen as her hand dropped to her side.
“T-Taisa!”
Riza was surprised to say the least. Wasn’t he just with that girl? Don’t say he...
Composing herself, Riza said in a voice meant to be monotone, “Weren’t you on a date, sir? Don’t tell me you left her alone? Your reputation might be ruined with such impulsive actions.”
Roy stared at her with an emotion Riza couldn’t identify in his dark eyes.
“Taisa?”
“It doesn’t matter,” was Roy’s response.
When his gaze wavered just a bit, Riza thought that something was bothering him which was more pressing than his playboy reputation, and she refused to turn him away if that was the case. She promised herself and him that she would protect him, whether it was from people making attempts at his life or his invisible foes.
“Taisa, would you like to come in for some tea?”
Roy was just a bit startled at her offer, but nodded his head nonetheless. The two then proceeded inside where Riza directed him to the couch as she made her way to the kitchen to prepare the tea. Once the tea was ready, Riza brought the two cups to the living room and placed them on the small table in front of the couch her superior was currently sitting on with his eyes downcast.
“Taisa? Your tea, sir,” Riza’s voice broke Roy from his reverie.
“Arigatou, Riza. You don’t have to call me ‘Taisa’, you know. We are outside of work. It’s Roy.”
Riza didn’t say anything to that. Instead, she looked at him silently for a few moments before deciding to find out what was troubling him.
“Tai-”
“Roy,” Roy corrected her.
Raising her eyebrow, Riza corrected herself and continued, “Roy, why... what’s wrong?”
Roy chuckled softly, “You do know me so well, Riza.”
Not replying to that comment, Riza only stared at him, as if coaxing him to talk with her eyes. Roy only sighed.
“I... I have to confess something to you, Riza.”
Riza looked puzzled, so Roy continued, “I know it’s forbidden, but...”
Oh no, he was not going to say it. She wouldn’t allow it. Considering the fact that she had wanted him to tell her this for a long, long time, but she had just told herself that she would in no way compromise his chances at his goal. Besides, it hurt her more to think she might end up the same way as all his other “fans” - a one night stand.
“Taisa, with all due respect, it is getting late, and it would not do for you to stay here any longer. The military may question why you are at your subordinate’s home so late at night. It would bring unnecessary hindrances towards your goal, sir.”
Roy looked at the firm set of her mouth, almost believing his feelings were unreciprocated. That was until he saw the light in her amber eyes that looked so much like the very fire he knew was in his own whenever he caught himself looking at the mirror. He smiled gently.
“Riza, I won’t say it until I become Fuhrer.”
With that, Roy glanced meaningfully into her eyes one last time before standing up and heading for the door. Riza was rather unsettled by Roy’s words, but that last look was enough for her to understand everything as she saw him out of her house.
Don’t say you love me unless forever
Don’t tell me you need me if you’re not gonna stay
Don’t give me this feeling, I’ll only believe it
Make it real or take it all away
Riza understood, as did Roy. He wouldn’t say it until he became Fuhrer. He wouldn’t say it until they were free from irrational laws. He wouldn’t say it until he could stay in her house without being accused of anything unseemly. He wouldn’t say it until he could devote all his time and efforts for her and her alone. He wouldn’t say it until he could prove it.
It may take a long time, but that was all right with them, because even if he wouldn’t say it, even if he didn’t say it, they knew and understood. Forever could wait.
x-posted to 30themesongs, royai_fiction, het_romance and anime_fanfics.