[Kay has pretty much let CLU have his space, so he's surprised when he hears the knock. He goes over to his desk to check the outside monitor, before engaging the locks. Five loud mechanical sounds later, Kay is opening the door to a very unassuming dark green room, lined with bookshelves, a couch and chair, and with a warm fireplace. An eager lionfish is in a small tank, following the movement in the room with ruffled fins.]
[CLU glances to him, to the inside of the room, then dips his head in acknowledgement and steps forward. After a curious stare at the fish, he slips into the chair.
He still appears troubled, but it's a distant look. And, at least, he is slightly more calm.]
I wanted to [there's a bit of pause, as he considers why exactly he came here] speak to you. [Pause] And I wanted to thank you for cleaning up, when you didn't have to.
...No problem. [He almost says he didn't need to thank him, but considering it's CLU, he doesn't want to sound unappreciative. He sits on the couch near the fireplace.]
[CLU doesn't answer immediately, but instead glances towards the door as if he's thinking about leaving. He'd thanked him, right? He could leave and that'd be it.
But after a moment, his gaze shifts back to Kay. There's more silence before he starts with:] I. Yes.
Flynn. My--[Creator User father. He doesn't go further than 'my', but instead continues with:] He attempted reintegration shortly before I came here [and CLU could still feel that tug, the pulling, the painful unraveling of his code as he'd been forcibly drawn away from the Portal]. It would've caused deresolution, had it been successful.
[Then there's a loooong pause, because this has been on his mind for months now, but the recent flood had finally torn it up from that deep hole he'd shoved it down and hit him squarely in the face with it.] He tried. To kill me [--and the pain it's caused him is clear on his face. He seems too tired or worn out to try and hide it this time].
[So it would be a lot like having your father try to kill you. He wished that Flynn had been around. He could have had a chance to explain things. Or at least make him answer for not realizing that a program could develop things as much as a system.]
Look, I'm not the most computer literate guy. Hell, I have to rely on Narvin. I'm terrible at games for one thing. But- [he pauses.] -I know that you're not just a program anymore. You're not just something meant to keep a system functioning. And I think you might have figured that out when you were that other guy.
He just wanted to maintain the system. And you want more than that.
[CLU listens intently, absorbs everything Kay says with a furrowed brow and faint frown and a pensive expression.
He wants to correct and say that it was his duty to maintain the system as well. But. There's truth to what Kay says. He is different from that other program--from that simple-minded simplicity. It'd been glimpse of himself in the past, a painful reflection, and CLU had changed from that, grown into something different.
And it's still hard to be acknowledged as more than just a tool to a User, more than merely something to use to achieve something else.] He--yes.
[Pause.] I did everything Flynn ever asked of me, all that he told me to do. But he didn't approve. I was not worthy enough for his approval. Or his attention. [Another short pause, and that miserable look from earlier in the week creeps into his expression] I never was. And I don't understand why.
I don't think he designed you to need it. [It was a sad fact. Some people didn't need approval or attention to work. Kay didn't. It was nice when he got it, but he could be just as easily satisfied by the act of completion as any other validation.]
He didn't know you needed it. Sometimes work for it's own sake is reward enough. But wanting things is damn hard on a person. Program or User.
You're just a person, CLU. You may have programming and directives, but you can make them mean what you want them to mean. You've proven that.
Holidays hit me really hard, so sorry this took so longsystmadminDecember 29 2011, 10:00:11 UTC
[His eyes fix briefly on the fireplace as Kay speaks, then flick back. He's silent a moment, hands clamped together.] I don't want to need it [because emotion is hard and aggravating and he hates it so much]. Execution of my primary directive was always--has always been top priority.
But he was the Creator. [Then he grits his teeth, like he doesn't quite want to say this:] He was my User. My Creator.
And he reserved all his attention for the ISOs, for some random anomalies in the system. He cared more about them than he ever did about his own creations, or even about the system itself.
He--[promised hurt] betrayed me. I can't [pause] forgive him.
You don't have to forgive him, CLU. That's not what you're here for. You're alright in feeling that he wronged you.
[He's at least impressed that CLU is attempting to muddle his way through everything.]
I just want you to be able to run a system again. You've got feelings now. They can make things better as much as worse. You haven't learned to put yourself in someone else's shoes yet. Or what decisions will benefit you more than it will the system. You don't even have to take care of a system unless you really enjoy it.
But you don't gotta kiss Flynn's ass if he didn't realize what it was that he made.
Re: Is okay!systmadminJanuary 1 2012, 05:16:13 UTC
He did. [There's a subtle shift in his expression, a small but visible ease of the tension in his body. It was almost an odd relief to hear that it was okay to feel the hurt and anger that he felt towards Flynn, that he'd been wronged. He'd spent cycles and cycles and cycles lost and constantly overwhelmed beneath an ever-changing mountain of expectations that Flynn had piled onto him; expectations that shifted without notice on the User's whim, expectations that CLU was expected to fulfill without question or explanation or guidance.
There's a quick flash of uncertain humor in his face at Kay's choice of words--] Then, I won't. [--but then the humor drops just as quickly as it was there.] He tried to apologize. [CLU shakes his head.] Almost directly before he tried to kill me. It [pauseeee; why is this so hard] hurts. Still. I don't think he was sincere about it.
And I want to run a system again. My purpose, my life, is devoted to the maintenance and perfection of systems. To running them. I did my best, what I could,
( ... )
Come in and have a seat.
Reply
He still appears troubled, but it's a distant look. And, at least, he is slightly more calm.]
I wanted to [there's a bit of pause, as he considers why exactly he came here] speak to you. [Pause] And I wanted to thank you for cleaning up, when you didn't have to.
Reply
Something on your mind in general?
Reply
But after a moment, his gaze shifts back to Kay. There's more silence before he starts with:] I. Yes.
Flynn. My--[Creator User father. He doesn't go further than 'my', but instead continues with:] He attempted reintegration shortly before I came here [and CLU could still feel that tug, the pulling, the painful unraveling of his code as he'd been forcibly drawn away from the Portal]. It would've caused deresolution, had it been successful.
[Then there's a loooong pause, because this has been on his mind for months now, but the recent flood had finally torn it up from that deep hole he'd shoved it down and hit him squarely in the face with it.] He tried. To kill me [--and the pain it's caused him is clear on his face. He seems too tired or worn out to try and hide it this time].
Reply
Look, I'm not the most computer literate guy. Hell, I have to rely on Narvin. I'm terrible at games for one thing. But- [he pauses.] -I know that you're not just a program anymore. You're not just something meant to keep a system functioning. And I think you might have figured that out when you were that other guy.
He just wanted to maintain the system. And you want more than that.
Reply
He wants to correct and say that it was his duty to maintain the system as well. But. There's truth to what Kay says. He is different from that other program--from that simple-minded simplicity. It'd been glimpse of himself in the past, a painful reflection, and CLU had changed from that, grown into something different.
And it's still hard to be acknowledged as more than just a tool to a User, more than merely something to use to achieve something else.] He--yes.
[Pause.] I did everything Flynn ever asked of me, all that he told me to do. But he didn't approve. I was not worthy enough for his approval. Or his attention. [Another short pause, and that miserable look from earlier in the week creeps into his expression] I never was. And I don't understand why.
Reply
He didn't know you needed it. Sometimes work for it's own sake is reward enough. But wanting things is damn hard on a person. Program or User.
You're just a person, CLU. You may have programming and directives, but you can make them mean what you want them to mean. You've proven that.
Reply
But he was the Creator. [Then he grits his teeth, like he doesn't quite want to say this:] He was my User. My Creator.
And he reserved all his attention for the ISOs, for some random anomalies in the system. He cared more about them than he ever did about his own creations, or even about the system itself.
He--[promised hurt] betrayed me. I can't [pause] forgive him.
Reply
[He's at least impressed that CLU is attempting to muddle his way through everything.]
I just want you to be able to run a system again. You've got feelings now. They can make things better as much as worse. You haven't learned to put yourself in someone else's shoes yet. Or what decisions will benefit you more than it will the system. You don't even have to take care of a system unless you really enjoy it.
But you don't gotta kiss Flynn's ass if he didn't realize what it was that he made.
Reply
There's a quick flash of uncertain humor in his face at Kay's choice of words--] Then, I won't. [--but then the humor drops just as quickly as it was there.] He tried to apologize. [CLU shakes his head.] Almost directly before he tried to kill me. It [pauseeee; why is this so hard] hurts. Still. I don't think he was sincere about it.
And I want to run a system again. My purpose, my life, is devoted to the maintenance and perfection of systems. To running them. I did my best, what I could, ( ... )
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