FUN FACT: I make $3.50 an hour.

Dec 09, 2005 22:13

Nelson, Zamir, Mike, and I got picked up by the cops yesterday for trespassing and skipping...oh, and "auto theft". Can I get a HIOHHHHH? Badass Central, right here. Look no further.Who's up for some serious skippage on Monday? HIOHHHHH HIOHHH HIOHHHH.

Today was my first full day of class since Monday.If I ever ask you to skip with me,go ahead and punch me. Make my face bleed. I really need to stop, stop, stop this shit.What? I'm talking outta my ass.Disregard my previous statement. Accept all my offers.

My job is starting to suck again.Something good better happen(gee I dunno, a RAISE would be nice) or someone's gonna be a very unhappy camper.

Thank you Sam for pointing out how much money I DON'T make.Needless to say, my ego is soaring right now.ZING.

My keyboard show is on Sunday, meaning that I will be performing for a room full of one hundred, hundred-year-old people. Quite literally. I won't even get an applause because the majority of them can't hear, and even if they can, their hands are much too brittle. We wouldn't want their bony little fingers to disintegrate into an ashy pile of powder on the floor, would we? Yes, we would.

Once you reach a certain age-you guys know what I'm talking about- The age where all you do is nag about shit that's not your business,and complain about your dumb head ache every day,craving any sort of sympathy you can get. The age where you start making up proverbs off the top of your head to prove a point that is not only stupid, but completely hopeless.In a nutshell, you become my grandma.You all know someone who's at that age,or approaching it quickly. At that age (usually ranges from the early 60s to the late 90s, if you make it that far), I believe you should be sent on a cruise with a bunch of your peers to some place exotic, like the Bahamas.You'll sip martinis,play ping pong, knit sweaters..the works. Then- midtrip- we'll torpedo the ship. There you have it. Problem solved. :)

I wanna go shopping. But not for me. For you, oh avid reader.
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