Return of the Emo days
I've been burned again.
My attempts at finding a new source of companionship have failed me miserably, and tonight the closing chapter of my most recent effort has concluded. If we were in the movies it would close with me standing under a street light in the rain while the screen does the classic fade to black. That is to say, it did not go well. Rejection is an odd friend... the one that I don't want around who just keeps coming back.
I see an old friends recent entries that hit fairly close to home of how I'm feeling, this is what motivated me to make a little blurb on here. I wish things could just go back to the way they were, I don't like change.
On a more pleasent note, I'm house-sitting for my sister again, I've got 3 more weeks of freedom before she gets back from Norway, and I've found a new band that I like, well and old band that was recently introduced to me, Blind Guardian, traditional power-metal, usually not my style, but they're pretty good for getting my mind off the more despressing aspects of life.
I'm desperatly lonely these days, and the harder I try the further away I become from being anything but. I've got this feeling of what I want, a warm memory, one instant of time frozen in my mind that I can't get over, and it kills me to think about. I don't neccisarily want her smile, this memory that was once a completed artwork of everything that was right in my life has become a simple outline of what I long to have again, just so long as a smile of the same intent is there, regardless of who is wearing it, so long as the feeling is the same, I will be content. And maybe it's this very knowing of what I want that makes it impossible to achive. One of those pleasent little ironies life likes to toss out I guess.
To that old friend of mine, if your entries are about what I think they are, you aren't the only one suffering your fate, I've been there a while now, so to you I give a pat on the back and my most sincere wishes that you deal better than I did.
My attempts at finding a new source of companionship have failed me miserably, and tonight the closing chapter of my most recent effort has concluded. If we were in the movies it would close with me standing under a street light in the rain while the screen does the classic fade to black. That is to say, it did not go well. Rejection is an odd friend... the one that I don't want around who just keeps coming back.
I see an old friends recent entries that hit fairly close to home of how I'm feeling, this is what motivated me to make a little blurb on here. I wish things could just go back to the way they were, I don't like change.
On a more pleasent note, I'm house-sitting for my sister again, I've got 3 more weeks of freedom before she gets back from Norway, and I've found a new band that I like, well and old band that was recently introduced to me, Blind Guardian, traditional power-metal, usually not my style, but they're pretty good for getting my mind off the more despressing aspects of life.
I'm desperatly lonely these days, and the harder I try the further away I become from being anything but. I've got this feeling of what I want, a warm memory, one instant of time frozen in my mind that I can't get over, and it kills me to think about. I don't neccisarily want her smile, this memory that was once a completed artwork of everything that was right in my life has become a simple outline of what I long to have again, just so long as a smile of the same intent is there, regardless of who is wearing it, so long as the feeling is the same, I will be content. And maybe it's this very knowing of what I want that makes it impossible to achive. One of those pleasent little ironies life likes to toss out I guess.
To that old friend of mine, if your entries are about what I think they are, you aren't the only one suffering your fate, I've been there a while now, so to you I give a pat on the back and my most sincere wishes that you deal better than I did.