The Birthday Princess...
Here's a couple pointers for you to consider, before you don the sparkly plastic tiara and the "I'm 21! Here's some silly things I need to talk people into doing" sign and head out to every bar in town:
First and foremost, get it set in your head that the only people who think you are cute are the friends tagging along with you. The other bar patrons that you are sure to annoy do not think you're cute. The bar employess that have to put up with your screaming mimi self and friends do not think you're cute. In fact, they groan the moment you walk in the door, as they know that you will be obnoxious, expect free drinks because of the simple fact that 21 years and 9 months or so ago your parents had sex. And worse yet is the fact that they know that they will, in all liklihood, have to clean up after you or one of your drunk-arse friends. You will not be popular. "They" are laughing *at* you, not with you. You are a dink. Accept it.
Secondly, yet no less important, do not go to the bar you have been hanging out at for the last two years with your fake ID. The bartenders do not appreciate your subtle announcement that you have been jeapordizing their source of income, their bank accounts and their freedom (literally) for the past however many years. It is a slap in the face. Either skip that bar for the evening, or pretend you just turned 23...
If you insist on going out in such a manner, celebrating your "coming of age" by acting like a fool, do not invite your parents along. That is just plain creepy.
Having your drunk friends hanging on and hitting on your father? Creepy!
Having your mother support the "do stupid things" on your sign? Very creepy!
Having your mother try to convince the bartender to give your "Sweety" a dollar is creepy. Comments along the line that "women in drinking establishments, begging for dollars, are typically naked, hanging upside down from a brass pole" should be expected. Having your mother think such a statement is rude, just after she tried to pimp you out, is ridiculous.
Above all else, vomiting upon the floor is a clear cut sign that it is time to call it a night. Really. Go home. Gather your posse, your parents and what few shreds of your dignity you can manage, and walk out the door.
Sheesh.
First and foremost, get it set in your head that the only people who think you are cute are the friends tagging along with you. The other bar patrons that you are sure to annoy do not think you're cute. The bar employess that have to put up with your screaming mimi self and friends do not think you're cute. In fact, they groan the moment you walk in the door, as they know that you will be obnoxious, expect free drinks because of the simple fact that 21 years and 9 months or so ago your parents had sex. And worse yet is the fact that they know that they will, in all liklihood, have to clean up after you or one of your drunk-arse friends. You will not be popular. "They" are laughing *at* you, not with you. You are a dink. Accept it.
Secondly, yet no less important, do not go to the bar you have been hanging out at for the last two years with your fake ID. The bartenders do not appreciate your subtle announcement that you have been jeapordizing their source of income, their bank accounts and their freedom (literally) for the past however many years. It is a slap in the face. Either skip that bar for the evening, or pretend you just turned 23...
If you insist on going out in such a manner, celebrating your "coming of age" by acting like a fool, do not invite your parents along. That is just plain creepy.
Having your drunk friends hanging on and hitting on your father? Creepy!
Having your mother support the "do stupid things" on your sign? Very creepy!
Having your mother try to convince the bartender to give your "Sweety" a dollar is creepy. Comments along the line that "women in drinking establishments, begging for dollars, are typically naked, hanging upside down from a brass pole" should be expected. Having your mother think such a statement is rude, just after she tried to pimp you out, is ridiculous.
Above all else, vomiting upon the floor is a clear cut sign that it is time to call it a night. Really. Go home. Gather your posse, your parents and what few shreds of your dignity you can manage, and walk out the door.
Sheesh.