Techo-screwed
I now know how Maxymyllyn feels. Zee Germans are horrid!
Let me ‘splain. When I am not bartending, I pay my bills by a toiling away at normal 9-5 job. I process contracts for a natural gas provider. There are basically two parts to my job - signed contracts, and verbal contracts. The signed variety are fairly straightforward and easy to process. The verbal type takes a bit more work. I actually have to listen to the reps going over the verbal contract with the customer and make sure that the rep covers all the points, that the information is accurate, and that the customer actually says yes. I know, incredibly boring, but it pays the bills.
We’re getting a new phone system here at the office. Swell. New technology is great, right? Not so much.
I just got through a training session to learn all of the wonderful new features the new phones have. It was more appropriately a session on what it doesn’t have.
Klaus, zee German instructor spoke English very well, albeit with an accent. He was, however, a little unprepared for some of my questions.
“What about the ‘record’ button that our current system has?” I asked.
“Zee new zystem recordz all kallz.”
“Yes, the old system did as well. However, the phones had a button which the marketers could push which would record *specific* parts of a call, and then automatically email that portion to the marketer.”
“Vhy vould you vant that?”
“So that I could listen to the 3 minute portion of the call that actually deals with the verbal contract, and not have to wade through 30 minutes of sales pitch.”
“Dat iz on YOUR teknikal depahtment to do. Vee do not do dat.”
Greaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. Now I’m going to have to wade through all of these calls to find portion I actually need. Nice. Okay, not happy, but I’ll cope. Please continue…
“Ziss is de information box vhat you haff vhen a kall komes in. Zees kodes indikate zat it iss in English, iss a voice kall, und iss from Georgia.”
“Ummm… Where do we find the call ID?”
“Zee vhat?”
“The call ID? The number that the system issues to each call, so that I can pull that specific call later?”
“Vee do not do dat.”
“What do you mean you don’t do that? How am I supposed to locate specific calls??”
“Zee supervizorz kan pull a report uff all your kallz.”
“I don’t need MY calls… I need to pull *specific* calls from the marketers!”
“Zee supervizorz kan pull…”
“Yes! They can pull reports of everyone’s calls. How will I know what specific call to pull? How do I ID that specific call?”
“You look at zee time.”
“Time?”
“Zee time uff zee kall.”
“So I have to have a manager pull a report of those calls, hope that the marketer notes the exact time of the call, and hope that he doesn’t have any other calls around that time?”
“Vell, yezz.”
“So, with your new phones, I now have to get a manager to pull up a report of all of a marketer’s calls, wade through all of the calls that marketers made within a certain timespan, hope I find the right one, and then listen to 30-45 minutes worth of calls to find the three minutes that I need?”
“Yezz.”
Sigh. The new phones really are kewl. Really. They do some amazing things. They just don't do anything that I need to do my job. In fact, they make my job much, much harder. Isn’t technology wonderful?
Let me ‘splain. When I am not bartending, I pay my bills by a toiling away at normal 9-5 job. I process contracts for a natural gas provider. There are basically two parts to my job - signed contracts, and verbal contracts. The signed variety are fairly straightforward and easy to process. The verbal type takes a bit more work. I actually have to listen to the reps going over the verbal contract with the customer and make sure that the rep covers all the points, that the information is accurate, and that the customer actually says yes. I know, incredibly boring, but it pays the bills.
We’re getting a new phone system here at the office. Swell. New technology is great, right? Not so much.
I just got through a training session to learn all of the wonderful new features the new phones have. It was more appropriately a session on what it doesn’t have.
Klaus, zee German instructor spoke English very well, albeit with an accent. He was, however, a little unprepared for some of my questions.
“What about the ‘record’ button that our current system has?” I asked.
“Zee new zystem recordz all kallz.”
“Yes, the old system did as well. However, the phones had a button which the marketers could push which would record *specific* parts of a call, and then automatically email that portion to the marketer.”
“Vhy vould you vant that?”
“So that I could listen to the 3 minute portion of the call that actually deals with the verbal contract, and not have to wade through 30 minutes of sales pitch.”
“Dat iz on YOUR teknikal depahtment to do. Vee do not do dat.”
Greaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. Now I’m going to have to wade through all of these calls to find portion I actually need. Nice. Okay, not happy, but I’ll cope. Please continue…
“Ziss is de information box vhat you haff vhen a kall komes in. Zees kodes indikate zat it iss in English, iss a voice kall, und iss from Georgia.”
“Ummm… Where do we find the call ID?”
“Zee vhat?”
“The call ID? The number that the system issues to each call, so that I can pull that specific call later?”
“Vee do not do dat.”
“What do you mean you don’t do that? How am I supposed to locate specific calls??”
“Zee supervizorz kan pull a report uff all your kallz.”
“I don’t need MY calls… I need to pull *specific* calls from the marketers!”
“Zee supervizorz kan pull…”
“Yes! They can pull reports of everyone’s calls. How will I know what specific call to pull? How do I ID that specific call?”
“You look at zee time.”
“Time?”
“Zee time uff zee kall.”
“So I have to have a manager pull a report of those calls, hope that the marketer notes the exact time of the call, and hope that he doesn’t have any other calls around that time?”
“Vell, yezz.”
“So, with your new phones, I now have to get a manager to pull up a report of all of a marketer’s calls, wade through all of the calls that marketers made within a certain timespan, hope I find the right one, and then listen to 30-45 minutes worth of calls to find the three minutes that I need?”
“Yezz.”
Sigh. The new phones really are kewl. Really. They do some amazing things. They just don't do anything that I need to do my job. In fact, they make my job much, much harder. Isn’t technology wonderful?