Money (backposted)
So I find two hundred-dollar bills on the ground. Things are sort of tight in terms of money, but it's not too bad. I keep the economic situation in mind but more or less spend blindly to my total funds because I can just follow some sort of set of rules to save wisely. The end result is that I'm not stressing my financial problems and instead I am going to take this new found wealth and splurge it. I don't know what on, but this is where the problem comes in. This is free money - I don't need to put it into savings. I stress that heavily. This is not money to be saved. This is money to spend. It's like it was never in the books or anything (it wasn't, but it doesn't actually matter either way). This is a psychological reaction, but one that I won't question. The problem is that I don't know what to splurge it on. I can't tell many people because I need to maintain my poorer-than-thou status to achieve the same benefits. I'd love to be the rich motherfucker but that's unlikely. So for now this needs to fund something I don't usually get to do. I'm not sure what, though. I can go out to see a movie, raise my Netflix plan for a while, buy a game, buy some books, get lessons in something, but it's hard to say what. I want to handle the money the same way I do my free time: as wisely as possible in impossible ways. This causes me a lot of trouble with my nights and causes a lot of neurosis. But what do I spend my money on in the same way? It may cause similar problems. I don't really need new shoes or boots. I don't know what I'd put into my car. Maybe I could get a rug but it wouldn't be all that useful. What problems do I have with life that could be fixed financially? I stress about a lot of things: prescriptions, work, savings, school, friends. Things that are strong options will be listed below.
But I am having a very difficult time figuring out stuff to spend my money on. Maybe clothes? I want to get off one of my drugs. That should save me money if anything. I have very little to say. This sucks. I wish I was cool. At least I can buy alcohol and cigarettes. Here's the problem: I don't have many problems. I've caught my life up pretty well. I need to start on some self-development and become more of a person. I need to spend money on things not because I have to in order to neutralize my problems, but rather so I can just enjoy it. What is fun? What can I learn about myself through fun? What can I spend money on to learn this kind of shit?
- Take someone to see a movie
- Take someone to dinner
- Decent/good headphones
- Spore
- Men's clothing magazine
But I am having a very difficult time figuring out stuff to spend my money on. Maybe clothes? I want to get off one of my drugs. That should save me money if anything. I have very little to say. This sucks. I wish I was cool. At least I can buy alcohol and cigarettes. Here's the problem: I don't have many problems. I've caught my life up pretty well. I need to start on some self-development and become more of a person. I need to spend money on things not because I have to in order to neutralize my problems, but rather so I can just enjoy it. What is fun? What can I learn about myself through fun? What can I spend money on to learn this kind of shit?
- Take someone to see a movie
- Take someone to dinner
- Decent/good headphones
- Spore
- Men's clothing magazine