The Last Baker
Title: The Last Baker [20]
Author: shorthorror
Pairing: Brian Haner & Zachary Baker
Rating: NC-17
Summary: This beautiful asshole just came around and started ruining everything for me. I was the last Baker, and I'd promised my father our name would not die with me.
Disclaimer: I am confident the readers can distinguish between what is real and what is fiction. I need not state the obvious.
0.5
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
I can't believe I made it to twenty parts without getting bored with this story. It must be all the support I've gotten for the past few weeks from all of my amazing readers. Know that none of your comments go unappreciated, even if I don't reply with thanks. Each one makes me happy, and God knows I need some of that without it being drug-induced.
Anyways, this is quite the climatic part and I made it extra long for you guys. So I will leave you to your reading and hope to get some feedback, good or bad :)
Love
shorthorror
It had taken me longer than usual to fall asleep that night after arriving home from Los Angeles. Ever since I stepped into my house, I felt the air of depression and confusion weighing down on me like a great ton, dragging me, body and soul, to the ground until I reached my bed. But even then I couldn't escape it. I laid motionless amongst my feather pillows and fluffy duvet and though my eyes were shut, the dark relieving hands of unconsciousness would not take me in their grasp. Instead, I thought about the only two things that were ever on my mind. Brian and my father. It was always the two of them.
When I thought of Brian, I felt a lot different. I thought of his smile, the way he smirked with hidden stories. How I could never read his thoughts no matter how long I stared into those black coffee colored eyes. I thought of the way he touched me with the very tips of his fingers, so gently. So soft and warm in the way he pressed his lips against mine. The way he wrapped me up in his strong tattooed arms made me feel like nothing could ever touch us. Not while Brian was around. He was everything a man should be. Everything I felt that I wasn't.
Then there was my father, my giant shadow looming above me forever. A shadow I could never cast in comparison or surpass no matter where life had lead me. He would always talk to me from the grave and remind me that I was his son. His first and only born child. The Baker to carry on the title. Everything he ever was, he had seeded deeply within me.
The emotions I felt between the two men in my life was like an arsenal explosion within me. I was frightened, stuck in the middle and unable to choose which side to go to. When flaming shrapnels of guilt and anxiety flew at me in every direction, how could I pick the right side? They both were equally as deadly.
There was Brian. I cared for Brian. I liked the world better when he was at my side. The sound of a storm would be beautiful if he was there to talk me through the rain and wind. I thought of the future and the question Brian had asked me in the hotel restaurant. Did I want my future to include him? Could I live my life for him and in turn, have him live his life for me until the day we were no longer?
Dad looked at me from his grave at the very same time I thought of living and loving Brian without boundaries set between us. He had told me of how his father raised him to always understand the importance and value of family. How family came first always. I thought about him, his proud smile and kind eyes. He had the same eyes of appreciation towards my mother, but for a different reason. He looked at her in thanks for giving birth to me. That's why he loved her. Because together, they joined the force of life to produce the son of their dreams. That was me. I was the apple of two sets of eyes.
"Zachary, I know you because I know myself. You would never let me down, so you will never let yourself down. My trust is in you to pass down this gift of knowledge. It's turning into a strange place, the world. It's up to the strongest to maintain the order of things and pave the way for generations to come. That's you and I, Zack..."
My father's words were coming to me again. Only this time, I could see him. I saw him standing but a few feet away from me. He wore pleated dress pants and a long sleeved button up shirt like he always did. It felt so odd to see him after only having the memories to thrive on for so long. But he was there, in the flesh and I could almost reach out to grasp him.
"Carry on my name Zachary. Carry on my honor." He told me.
"Dad!" I shouted at him, "I don't know if I can do what you told me to do before you died."
"You never failed me before, do not fail me now."
And that was it. I awoke in a cold sweat, nearly weeping with deep pools of salt water congealing in the corner of my eyes. I looked around rapidly, blinking harshly and panting as though my breath had been stolen straight from my lungs. It was still dark and I could barely see a thing in my room.
"Holy shit..." I whispered.
It was a dream. It wasn't real at all but a natural hallucination of the mind. But it had felt so real. Even then, as I sat up in bed, conscious as a night owl, I could feel his presence. My father had spoken to me.
I whipped the covers off of me and left the room to find my phone. I quickly dialed Brian's number by heart and held the speaker up to my ear. I was still out of breath, and I could feel the static crackle in the phone when I exhaled hotly into the receiver. It rang so loud in my ear until the sound of a pick up came through.
"Brian?" I asked, still sounding as exasperated as when I woke up.
"Zack? What's wrong?" Came Brian's tired voice.
"Brian... I... I had a dream about him."
Brian yawned. "A dream about who?"
"My dad. I had a dream about him. But it wasn't like a dream, it was like he came to me with a reason." I said quickly, feeling the need to inhale sharply afterwards.
"Baby, it's four in the morning. You can tell me about this dream at work, okay?" Brian yawned again.
"No Brian listen. It felt so real. It was like he had come right to me to tell me something. I could practically smell him."
"You're really scaring me Zack..."
"I'm sorry, but..." I stopped when I realized Brian wasn't fully aware of my inner conflicts. He didn't know what kind of mental suffering I was subjecting myself too every time I thought of him and the vision of my father at the same time. "This was really fucked up."
"What did he say?" Brian asked.
"He um..." I paused for a moment. "He didn't say anything. Well, not that I can remember." I lied.
Oh I remembered. I remembered like it was being whispered into my ear over and over again. Honor me, honor me. Dad had told me not to let him down, that he wanted me to succeed him, and carry on so there would be somebody else to succeed me.
Brian yawned once more. "See? It couldn't have been that important if you can't even remember what he said."
I frowned with a sigh. "Yeah. I guess."
"Listen to me Zack. Get some sleep. You'll wake up in a few hours and I'll meet you at work then everything will be fine."
"Okay."
"Night baby." Brian said.
"Good night." I replied and then hung up.
I drifted back into my room and laid myself down on the bed again. It didn't take me as long to fall asleep, but when I woke up again it felt like I hadn't slept a full minute. I was tired and so groggy, unable to move though I knew I had too. The sun was what forced me to rise and get ready with it's unbearably bright rays seeping through my eyelids.
All the while I pulled on my black jeans and a plaid button up, I thought of last night and my dream and how I called Brian after. He was probably already at work waiting for me to show up. Usually I just went whenever I wanted to, or after I was done taking care of personal issues. But not today. Today, I was taking my personal issues to work with me. Though I trusted my employees to know what to do, occasionally, I had to make an appearance and make sure things were being ran the way they were supposed to be. The way I wanted them to be ran.
After sliding a leather belt into the loopholes of my jeans, I went into the bathroom to fix up my sleep-mussed hair. While I looked in the mirror I couldn't help but try to pick out the features in me that matched the ones my dad had. Nothing really looked the same except for our natural dark hair and the angle of our jaws. I had my mother's full pout and her big green cat's eyes. My nose was neither his nor hers. Perhaps my grandfather's nose. I remembered him having a similarly shaped nose as I from the Christmas he visited from Italy.
After I had washed my face I left the bathroom to slip on some casual loafers, grab my wallet and keys and leave out the door that lead into the garage. I pressed the automatic button and my Beamer's lights flashed twice, signifying that it's doors were now unlocked for me and the garage was about to open. I got in, adjusted the mirror and then pulled out, on my way to work to face Brian and another day of wondering about what my next move should be, and the results that would subsequently follow. But I could never come to terms with just one. The battle inside of me was raging on.
Just to distract myself a little further before I got to Milan Verde, I stopped off for coffee and also bought two dozen donuts for everyone else. I was a nice employer sometimes, and knew that my employees respected me. So in return I'd by them all a treat from time to time if I felt like blowing an extra twenty five bucks.
It didn't take long before I arrived at the restaurant. It was already twelve and the afternoon rush was just reaching it's peak. I knew I'd walk in and see chefs at work and dishes being washed to a sparkling shine. I entered my building from the back like normal, carrying the two flat boxes of gourmet donuts. I went through the back hall, past my office door until I spotted Nancy in the pastry kitchen hard at work making appetizer biscotti with coconut and almond slivers. She turned around, hands clasped behind her back and smiling.
"Hello Mr. Baker." She said.
I frowned at the flour all over her sleeves and the way chocolate had been dripped onto the counter. I decided not to say a thing though, and just proceeded to hand her the donuts.
"Hi Nancy. Take these and distribute them or whatever. Tell everyone there's donuts."
Nancy hooked her arm underneath the boxes for support, and nodded. "Thanks Mr. Baker."
"No problem." I said as I turned to leave and go into the main kitchen where I was sure I would find Brian.
He was there, standing in front of the industrial stove top sauteing some onions, mushrooms and various spices. Most likely for sauce because of the quantity. The whole place sounded with the ring of sizzling and pans clinking. There were a few other people in the main kitchen, but none of them acknowledged me. They were busy with making fresh breads and pasta. I nodded. I was glad they didn't take the time to greet me. That meant they were fully enveloped in their work the way they should be.
Brian smirked when he turned around to find me standing there observing him like I was the queen and he was the worker ant to do my bidding.
"Hey Zack." Brian said.
I frowned. "Mr. Baker."
Brian's brow furrowed. "Oh I'm sorry, Mr. Baker."
"How's business?" I asked him professionally, folding my arms so as to show that I was blocking myself from any type of openness. He would have to address me like everyone else did.
"Busy, I suppose." Brian said, returning to a skillet that was cooking a thick salmon fillet.
"Good to know." I nodded, but really I just wanted to return into his arms and ask him how his day was really going.
I didn't even want to be around Brian if I couldn't be my true self, so I quickly slipped away, past the kitchens and into my office. I found things a little better in there, but boring and resonating the same unchanging and monotonous atmosphere. There was unopened mail on my desk that I had yet to go through and the sounds of the kitchen were muzzled by a large white metal door. This area had gotten too familiar, and I thought about redecorating, or what I would do differently if I were to refurbish it.
I sat down in my chair and picked up the envelopes. I went through them after rearranging them from smallest to biggest and my lips were quickly drawn into a frown. Insurance, insurance, electric bill, maintenance bill. This was where all of my money was going. I paid more to keep Milan Verde up and running than I did for my own house. And my house was twice the size of the restaurant.
My thoughts from earlier were temporarily drowned out by mail and paperwork. I had so many things to pay for and so many pages to read over. I had a notice about extending my permits and a letter from health inspection telling me they were coming in two weeks to perform a full inspection of my establishment. From the scum on the tiles to the gas pipes and chair legs. Usually my inspections went smoothly and nobody had anything to complain about. But this time around, I was nervous for reasons unknown.
After a long while there was a knock at the door. I called for them to come in and when I looked up, I saw Brian shutting the door behind him. He smiled warmly at me and sat down in front of my desk.
"You're not going to eat?" He asked me.
I looked up from a sheet of paper I was using to make financial calculations on with blue ink. "Huh?"
"It's passed lunch. You've been in here for hours." Brian told me.
"I know. I just have a lot of shit to deal with right now." I said, pointing to the calculator as the giveaway.
"Am I being a distraction?" He asked me.
I shook my head. "No. I was actually hoping you'd come in."
"Then why don't you just come get me?"
I shrugged and didn't make eye contact with him until he said something else.
"Oh, I know what it is. You don't want anybody seeing or hearing you ask for me specifically. Because if you did, they might start thinking and may end up with the idea that you and I are up to something."
"What!? That's preposterous! That's not why I don't ask for you at all! I don't ask for you because I don't want to show favoritism, and I'm really caught up with my work, incase you haven't noticed."
Brian nodded and bore no smile for me. Not that I expected him too anyway. "So I am being a distraction?"
"No. Brian, don't be like that. You know how much paperwork shit I have to go through." I offered.
"Well I just wanted to check up on you and make sure you're feeling better," Brian told me. "Are you alright? you seemed really freaked out when you called me this morning."
I nodded robotically. "Yeah, I'm okay. It was just a dumb dream."
"Okay, well if you're feeling better I guess I'll leave and let you do what you need to do. But, I want to take you out tonight, if you're up for it." Brian said.
I watched him get up from the chair and make his way around the desk so that he was standing above me, my face parallel with his hips. He was awaiting my response that would stay on his conscience for the rest of the night.
"Sure. What did you have in mind?" I asked.
"Something special. Something that doesn't really require getting all fancy and blowing cash."
"Like what?" I asked him.
"You'll see." Brian said as he leaned over and cupped my face.
We kissed briefly before he left and I was alone again in my office with the never ending paperwork. I sighed. When did I ever decide that owning a restaurant would be better than cooking for one? I felt like I was missing out on my passion and had just hired a network of people to do it all for me while I dealt with the rough part. I thought about Brian's suggestion for us to open up a new restaurant together. Sharing the work yet both getting to actually work with our hands in the kitchen, creating masterpiece after masterpiece and making loads of money doing it. I even thought about a franchise. Perhaps opening up another Milan Verde somewhere else in Orange County. But my thoughts gradually faded away as I buried myself in the work.
After I'd finally finished up reading and filing all of the documents, I left my office. It was around nine forty five and passed closing. The dishes had all been washed up and stacked, the silverware dried and folded intricately into napkins and placed four to a table. I smelled the tangy scent of lemon floor cleaner and the polisher used on the stove tops after a day of being used heavily. Everybody had packed up, cleaned and gone home to their families or lonely apartments or whatever. Everyone but Brian, who had changed out of his chef's uniform and was now sitting atop the counter, whistling and playing some game on his cell phone.
"Hey." I said.
Brian's eyes shot up and then he smiled that flawless smile that made his chiseled cheekbones shift underneath his perfect skin. "He emerges."
"Shut up..." I said playfully.
As I approached, Brian jumped down from the counter and encircled my waist. I grabbed his wrists. "Not here, Brian. What if somebody sees us?"
"Um babe, I'm pretty sure everyone went home a while ago. I've been sitting here for the past twenty minutes waiting for you."
Brian dipped closer to me and pressed a lustful kiss to my neck. But even though there weren't any people around, I was still worried that somebody might somehow see us. I tried to pull away but Brian turned me around and pinned me against the counter using his hips and torso.
"Brian..." I said warily.
"Relax Zacky baby. We're all alone." He said with a smirk, darkness in his eyes as his hands traveled down to my belt.
"Please, let's not do this right here." I begged him.
"Hey, after closing time, it's my rules." He told me, as he unfastened my belt and opened the button of my jeans.
"Please Brian. Baby, just wait until we're at home."
"Ooh, baby? I like that," Brian purred. "Say it again."
Brian stuck his right hand into my boxers to rub my hipbone as he sucked a red wet spot on my neck. When he realized that his touch was enough to make me undone, he slid over to the left and wrapped his hand around the base of my cock. Merely our contact was enough to help me get hard combined with the way he breathed and suckled at my neck. That sweet spot that almost everyone had.
"Tell me what you want." Brian whispered against my lips as he stared into my eyes, fist beginning to pump my erection despite my protest.
"Mmm-"
"Say it Zachary."
"More..."
"You know I'd give you anything you wanted?" Brian asked me, though I'm sure his inquiry didn't require any answer.
"I want to stop." I told him.
"Come on kitten, you know you want it. You love it when I play with your dick."
I moaned. "Yeah but not right here."
Brian shut me up entirely by pressing our lips together. His hand worked on me quickly and perfectly. The pressure was so delicious and the blood flowing through my veins was hot and undeniable. Especially when he matched his strokes with wet kisses from his soft lips. I knew I shouldn't have been doing this with Brian, but his touch was irresistible and I wanted so badly to release and let him take me sweetly into his arms.
Unfortunately, things had a way of turning around completely. Such was the way of my world. It turned on me when my father died. It turned on me when Brian walked into my office that very first day and it was going to turn on me now.
As I was nearing my orgasm, clinging onto Brian like I was drowning and he was my only flotation device, I heard a slight jingle from a distance. It couldn't have been me, because my keys were on my desk in my office and Brian, well Brian was just too busy with me. I looked up, terrified of what was there and when my eyes set on the source of the noise, I felt my entire body give way. Brian caught me quickly, laughing.
"Woah, watch it there babe..." He giggled, catching me around the waist.
When he saw my eyes transfixed and mortified, Brian finally stopped and looked in the direction I was. Standing there, motionless with her eyes wide open in horror, was Nancy my pastry chef. In her hand she had her keys, and the other she carried her purse. Nancy's mouth was slightly parted as was Brian's and mine.
Finally, when I came to my senses I pushed Brian off of me.
"I told you not to fucking touch me!" I yelled at Brian.
Nancy snapped out of her shock and dropped her stare to the floor. "Oh I'm so... SO sorry for just coming in like that. I just... I left my keys."
I tucked myself away and zipped my pants back up. My cheeks were burning with humiliation and all I wanted was to dissolve into a pile of ashy remains and salt from the tears I couldn't cry. I was stunned and embarrassed and unknowing of what to do except blow up.
"Nancy... I know what you saw was probably the last thing you ever wanted to see, but what I'm about to say to you is very important. You can never speak of this to anybody-"
"Fuck that Brian, you know she will! Anyone would! I fucking told you! Didn't I? I fucking told you not to touch me! but no, everything has to be Brian's way. Ever since you got here you haven't listened to a fucking word I've said. And now, you broke the only promise I ever wanted you to make me!" I screamed.
Nancy continued to stand there, like a statue with moving eyes to take all of this in. Brian also stared at me, his eyes brimming and frightened looking as I continued to yell at him.
"My father was fucking right. I should have just listened to what he told me and said no to you from the very beginning. You've done nothing but make me question my every move and word! And I'm sick of you downsizing me when I'm the one who's boss!"
"Zack, I... I'm sorry-"
I turned away from him, eyes burning with tears and spite. I was still quivering from the disconcertion and the numbing heat of being completely and utterly mortified about being walked in on. It was the potential disaster I had wanted to prevent, and now it was here, staring straight at me with ugly horns and smoke.
"Fucking save it for your next employer." I said lowly.
"What?"
"You heard me." My voice nearly cracked.
Brian grasped my shoulder and forced me to turn around and come face to face with him. "Are you firing me?"
"No..." I said. "I'm breaking up with you."
Nancy's hands came up to cover her mouth. Just when I thought here eyes couldn't grow any wider, they did, and she looked petrified. She probably felt as though it were all her fault.
But Nancy wasn't the thing on my mind. It was Brian, looking at me as though he were going to burst into tears. He bit down on his lip, something I had never seen him do to contain any other emotion but lust. His hot chocolate eyes were glassy and the whites were beginning to turn red.
"But... Zachary. I love you."
I let my head fall as the tears fell like embers down my face, scorching my skin as they stung my eyes. "Please, both of you. Just leave." I said in a hoarse whisper.
I saw Brian's shoes before me as I looked to the ground, and I didn't look back up until they were gone and the sounds of his footsteps had stopped their echo.
Author: shorthorror
Pairing: Brian Haner & Zachary Baker
Rating: NC-17
Summary: This beautiful asshole just came around and started ruining everything for me. I was the last Baker, and I'd promised my father our name would not die with me.
Disclaimer: I am confident the readers can distinguish between what is real and what is fiction. I need not state the obvious.
0.5
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
I can't believe I made it to twenty parts without getting bored with this story. It must be all the support I've gotten for the past few weeks from all of my amazing readers. Know that none of your comments go unappreciated, even if I don't reply with thanks. Each one makes me happy, and God knows I need some of that without it being drug-induced.
Anyways, this is quite the climatic part and I made it extra long for you guys. So I will leave you to your reading and hope to get some feedback, good or bad :)
Love
shorthorror
It had taken me longer than usual to fall asleep that night after arriving home from Los Angeles. Ever since I stepped into my house, I felt the air of depression and confusion weighing down on me like a great ton, dragging me, body and soul, to the ground until I reached my bed. But even then I couldn't escape it. I laid motionless amongst my feather pillows and fluffy duvet and though my eyes were shut, the dark relieving hands of unconsciousness would not take me in their grasp. Instead, I thought about the only two things that were ever on my mind. Brian and my father. It was always the two of them.
When I thought of Brian, I felt a lot different. I thought of his smile, the way he smirked with hidden stories. How I could never read his thoughts no matter how long I stared into those black coffee colored eyes. I thought of the way he touched me with the very tips of his fingers, so gently. So soft and warm in the way he pressed his lips against mine. The way he wrapped me up in his strong tattooed arms made me feel like nothing could ever touch us. Not while Brian was around. He was everything a man should be. Everything I felt that I wasn't.
Then there was my father, my giant shadow looming above me forever. A shadow I could never cast in comparison or surpass no matter where life had lead me. He would always talk to me from the grave and remind me that I was his son. His first and only born child. The Baker to carry on the title. Everything he ever was, he had seeded deeply within me.
The emotions I felt between the two men in my life was like an arsenal explosion within me. I was frightened, stuck in the middle and unable to choose which side to go to. When flaming shrapnels of guilt and anxiety flew at me in every direction, how could I pick the right side? They both were equally as deadly.
There was Brian. I cared for Brian. I liked the world better when he was at my side. The sound of a storm would be beautiful if he was there to talk me through the rain and wind. I thought of the future and the question Brian had asked me in the hotel restaurant. Did I want my future to include him? Could I live my life for him and in turn, have him live his life for me until the day we were no longer?
Dad looked at me from his grave at the very same time I thought of living and loving Brian without boundaries set between us. He had told me of how his father raised him to always understand the importance and value of family. How family came first always. I thought about him, his proud smile and kind eyes. He had the same eyes of appreciation towards my mother, but for a different reason. He looked at her in thanks for giving birth to me. That's why he loved her. Because together, they joined the force of life to produce the son of their dreams. That was me. I was the apple of two sets of eyes.
"Zachary, I know you because I know myself. You would never let me down, so you will never let yourself down. My trust is in you to pass down this gift of knowledge. It's turning into a strange place, the world. It's up to the strongest to maintain the order of things and pave the way for generations to come. That's you and I, Zack..."
My father's words were coming to me again. Only this time, I could see him. I saw him standing but a few feet away from me. He wore pleated dress pants and a long sleeved button up shirt like he always did. It felt so odd to see him after only having the memories to thrive on for so long. But he was there, in the flesh and I could almost reach out to grasp him.
"Carry on my name Zachary. Carry on my honor." He told me.
"Dad!" I shouted at him, "I don't know if I can do what you told me to do before you died."
"You never failed me before, do not fail me now."
And that was it. I awoke in a cold sweat, nearly weeping with deep pools of salt water congealing in the corner of my eyes. I looked around rapidly, blinking harshly and panting as though my breath had been stolen straight from my lungs. It was still dark and I could barely see a thing in my room.
"Holy shit..." I whispered.
It was a dream. It wasn't real at all but a natural hallucination of the mind. But it had felt so real. Even then, as I sat up in bed, conscious as a night owl, I could feel his presence. My father had spoken to me.
I whipped the covers off of me and left the room to find my phone. I quickly dialed Brian's number by heart and held the speaker up to my ear. I was still out of breath, and I could feel the static crackle in the phone when I exhaled hotly into the receiver. It rang so loud in my ear until the sound of a pick up came through.
"Brian?" I asked, still sounding as exasperated as when I woke up.
"Zack? What's wrong?" Came Brian's tired voice.
"Brian... I... I had a dream about him."
Brian yawned. "A dream about who?"
"My dad. I had a dream about him. But it wasn't like a dream, it was like he came to me with a reason." I said quickly, feeling the need to inhale sharply afterwards.
"Baby, it's four in the morning. You can tell me about this dream at work, okay?" Brian yawned again.
"No Brian listen. It felt so real. It was like he had come right to me to tell me something. I could practically smell him."
"You're really scaring me Zack..."
"I'm sorry, but..." I stopped when I realized Brian wasn't fully aware of my inner conflicts. He didn't know what kind of mental suffering I was subjecting myself too every time I thought of him and the vision of my father at the same time. "This was really fucked up."
"What did he say?" Brian asked.
"He um..." I paused for a moment. "He didn't say anything. Well, not that I can remember." I lied.
Oh I remembered. I remembered like it was being whispered into my ear over and over again. Honor me, honor me. Dad had told me not to let him down, that he wanted me to succeed him, and carry on so there would be somebody else to succeed me.
Brian yawned once more. "See? It couldn't have been that important if you can't even remember what he said."
I frowned with a sigh. "Yeah. I guess."
"Listen to me Zack. Get some sleep. You'll wake up in a few hours and I'll meet you at work then everything will be fine."
"Okay."
"Night baby." Brian said.
"Good night." I replied and then hung up.
I drifted back into my room and laid myself down on the bed again. It didn't take me as long to fall asleep, but when I woke up again it felt like I hadn't slept a full minute. I was tired and so groggy, unable to move though I knew I had too. The sun was what forced me to rise and get ready with it's unbearably bright rays seeping through my eyelids.
All the while I pulled on my black jeans and a plaid button up, I thought of last night and my dream and how I called Brian after. He was probably already at work waiting for me to show up. Usually I just went whenever I wanted to, or after I was done taking care of personal issues. But not today. Today, I was taking my personal issues to work with me. Though I trusted my employees to know what to do, occasionally, I had to make an appearance and make sure things were being ran the way they were supposed to be. The way I wanted them to be ran.
After sliding a leather belt into the loopholes of my jeans, I went into the bathroom to fix up my sleep-mussed hair. While I looked in the mirror I couldn't help but try to pick out the features in me that matched the ones my dad had. Nothing really looked the same except for our natural dark hair and the angle of our jaws. I had my mother's full pout and her big green cat's eyes. My nose was neither his nor hers. Perhaps my grandfather's nose. I remembered him having a similarly shaped nose as I from the Christmas he visited from Italy.
After I had washed my face I left the bathroom to slip on some casual loafers, grab my wallet and keys and leave out the door that lead into the garage. I pressed the automatic button and my Beamer's lights flashed twice, signifying that it's doors were now unlocked for me and the garage was about to open. I got in, adjusted the mirror and then pulled out, on my way to work to face Brian and another day of wondering about what my next move should be, and the results that would subsequently follow. But I could never come to terms with just one. The battle inside of me was raging on.
Just to distract myself a little further before I got to Milan Verde, I stopped off for coffee and also bought two dozen donuts for everyone else. I was a nice employer sometimes, and knew that my employees respected me. So in return I'd by them all a treat from time to time if I felt like blowing an extra twenty five bucks.
It didn't take long before I arrived at the restaurant. It was already twelve and the afternoon rush was just reaching it's peak. I knew I'd walk in and see chefs at work and dishes being washed to a sparkling shine. I entered my building from the back like normal, carrying the two flat boxes of gourmet donuts. I went through the back hall, past my office door until I spotted Nancy in the pastry kitchen hard at work making appetizer biscotti with coconut and almond slivers. She turned around, hands clasped behind her back and smiling.
"Hello Mr. Baker." She said.
I frowned at the flour all over her sleeves and the way chocolate had been dripped onto the counter. I decided not to say a thing though, and just proceeded to hand her the donuts.
"Hi Nancy. Take these and distribute them or whatever. Tell everyone there's donuts."
Nancy hooked her arm underneath the boxes for support, and nodded. "Thanks Mr. Baker."
"No problem." I said as I turned to leave and go into the main kitchen where I was sure I would find Brian.
He was there, standing in front of the industrial stove top sauteing some onions, mushrooms and various spices. Most likely for sauce because of the quantity. The whole place sounded with the ring of sizzling and pans clinking. There were a few other people in the main kitchen, but none of them acknowledged me. They were busy with making fresh breads and pasta. I nodded. I was glad they didn't take the time to greet me. That meant they were fully enveloped in their work the way they should be.
Brian smirked when he turned around to find me standing there observing him like I was the queen and he was the worker ant to do my bidding.
"Hey Zack." Brian said.
I frowned. "Mr. Baker."
Brian's brow furrowed. "Oh I'm sorry, Mr. Baker."
"How's business?" I asked him professionally, folding my arms so as to show that I was blocking myself from any type of openness. He would have to address me like everyone else did.
"Busy, I suppose." Brian said, returning to a skillet that was cooking a thick salmon fillet.
"Good to know." I nodded, but really I just wanted to return into his arms and ask him how his day was really going.
I didn't even want to be around Brian if I couldn't be my true self, so I quickly slipped away, past the kitchens and into my office. I found things a little better in there, but boring and resonating the same unchanging and monotonous atmosphere. There was unopened mail on my desk that I had yet to go through and the sounds of the kitchen were muzzled by a large white metal door. This area had gotten too familiar, and I thought about redecorating, or what I would do differently if I were to refurbish it.
I sat down in my chair and picked up the envelopes. I went through them after rearranging them from smallest to biggest and my lips were quickly drawn into a frown. Insurance, insurance, electric bill, maintenance bill. This was where all of my money was going. I paid more to keep Milan Verde up and running than I did for my own house. And my house was twice the size of the restaurant.
My thoughts from earlier were temporarily drowned out by mail and paperwork. I had so many things to pay for and so many pages to read over. I had a notice about extending my permits and a letter from health inspection telling me they were coming in two weeks to perform a full inspection of my establishment. From the scum on the tiles to the gas pipes and chair legs. Usually my inspections went smoothly and nobody had anything to complain about. But this time around, I was nervous for reasons unknown.
After a long while there was a knock at the door. I called for them to come in and when I looked up, I saw Brian shutting the door behind him. He smiled warmly at me and sat down in front of my desk.
"You're not going to eat?" He asked me.
I looked up from a sheet of paper I was using to make financial calculations on with blue ink. "Huh?"
"It's passed lunch. You've been in here for hours." Brian told me.
"I know. I just have a lot of shit to deal with right now." I said, pointing to the calculator as the giveaway.
"Am I being a distraction?" He asked me.
I shook my head. "No. I was actually hoping you'd come in."
"Then why don't you just come get me?"
I shrugged and didn't make eye contact with him until he said something else.
"Oh, I know what it is. You don't want anybody seeing or hearing you ask for me specifically. Because if you did, they might start thinking and may end up with the idea that you and I are up to something."
"What!? That's preposterous! That's not why I don't ask for you at all! I don't ask for you because I don't want to show favoritism, and I'm really caught up with my work, incase you haven't noticed."
Brian nodded and bore no smile for me. Not that I expected him too anyway. "So I am being a distraction?"
"No. Brian, don't be like that. You know how much paperwork shit I have to go through." I offered.
"Well I just wanted to check up on you and make sure you're feeling better," Brian told me. "Are you alright? you seemed really freaked out when you called me this morning."
I nodded robotically. "Yeah, I'm okay. It was just a dumb dream."
"Okay, well if you're feeling better I guess I'll leave and let you do what you need to do. But, I want to take you out tonight, if you're up for it." Brian said.
I watched him get up from the chair and make his way around the desk so that he was standing above me, my face parallel with his hips. He was awaiting my response that would stay on his conscience for the rest of the night.
"Sure. What did you have in mind?" I asked.
"Something special. Something that doesn't really require getting all fancy and blowing cash."
"Like what?" I asked him.
"You'll see." Brian said as he leaned over and cupped my face.
We kissed briefly before he left and I was alone again in my office with the never ending paperwork. I sighed. When did I ever decide that owning a restaurant would be better than cooking for one? I felt like I was missing out on my passion and had just hired a network of people to do it all for me while I dealt with the rough part. I thought about Brian's suggestion for us to open up a new restaurant together. Sharing the work yet both getting to actually work with our hands in the kitchen, creating masterpiece after masterpiece and making loads of money doing it. I even thought about a franchise. Perhaps opening up another Milan Verde somewhere else in Orange County. But my thoughts gradually faded away as I buried myself in the work.
After I'd finally finished up reading and filing all of the documents, I left my office. It was around nine forty five and passed closing. The dishes had all been washed up and stacked, the silverware dried and folded intricately into napkins and placed four to a table. I smelled the tangy scent of lemon floor cleaner and the polisher used on the stove tops after a day of being used heavily. Everybody had packed up, cleaned and gone home to their families or lonely apartments or whatever. Everyone but Brian, who had changed out of his chef's uniform and was now sitting atop the counter, whistling and playing some game on his cell phone.
"Hey." I said.
Brian's eyes shot up and then he smiled that flawless smile that made his chiseled cheekbones shift underneath his perfect skin. "He emerges."
"Shut up..." I said playfully.
As I approached, Brian jumped down from the counter and encircled my waist. I grabbed his wrists. "Not here, Brian. What if somebody sees us?"
"Um babe, I'm pretty sure everyone went home a while ago. I've been sitting here for the past twenty minutes waiting for you."
Brian dipped closer to me and pressed a lustful kiss to my neck. But even though there weren't any people around, I was still worried that somebody might somehow see us. I tried to pull away but Brian turned me around and pinned me against the counter using his hips and torso.
"Brian..." I said warily.
"Relax Zacky baby. We're all alone." He said with a smirk, darkness in his eyes as his hands traveled down to my belt.
"Please, let's not do this right here." I begged him.
"Hey, after closing time, it's my rules." He told me, as he unfastened my belt and opened the button of my jeans.
"Please Brian. Baby, just wait until we're at home."
"Ooh, baby? I like that," Brian purred. "Say it again."
Brian stuck his right hand into my boxers to rub my hipbone as he sucked a red wet spot on my neck. When he realized that his touch was enough to make me undone, he slid over to the left and wrapped his hand around the base of my cock. Merely our contact was enough to help me get hard combined with the way he breathed and suckled at my neck. That sweet spot that almost everyone had.
"Tell me what you want." Brian whispered against my lips as he stared into my eyes, fist beginning to pump my erection despite my protest.
"Mmm-"
"Say it Zachary."
"More..."
"You know I'd give you anything you wanted?" Brian asked me, though I'm sure his inquiry didn't require any answer.
"I want to stop." I told him.
"Come on kitten, you know you want it. You love it when I play with your dick."
I moaned. "Yeah but not right here."
Brian shut me up entirely by pressing our lips together. His hand worked on me quickly and perfectly. The pressure was so delicious and the blood flowing through my veins was hot and undeniable. Especially when he matched his strokes with wet kisses from his soft lips. I knew I shouldn't have been doing this with Brian, but his touch was irresistible and I wanted so badly to release and let him take me sweetly into his arms.
Unfortunately, things had a way of turning around completely. Such was the way of my world. It turned on me when my father died. It turned on me when Brian walked into my office that very first day and it was going to turn on me now.
As I was nearing my orgasm, clinging onto Brian like I was drowning and he was my only flotation device, I heard a slight jingle from a distance. It couldn't have been me, because my keys were on my desk in my office and Brian, well Brian was just too busy with me. I looked up, terrified of what was there and when my eyes set on the source of the noise, I felt my entire body give way. Brian caught me quickly, laughing.
"Woah, watch it there babe..." He giggled, catching me around the waist.
When he saw my eyes transfixed and mortified, Brian finally stopped and looked in the direction I was. Standing there, motionless with her eyes wide open in horror, was Nancy my pastry chef. In her hand she had her keys, and the other she carried her purse. Nancy's mouth was slightly parted as was Brian's and mine.
Finally, when I came to my senses I pushed Brian off of me.
"I told you not to fucking touch me!" I yelled at Brian.
Nancy snapped out of her shock and dropped her stare to the floor. "Oh I'm so... SO sorry for just coming in like that. I just... I left my keys."
I tucked myself away and zipped my pants back up. My cheeks were burning with humiliation and all I wanted was to dissolve into a pile of ashy remains and salt from the tears I couldn't cry. I was stunned and embarrassed and unknowing of what to do except blow up.
"Nancy... I know what you saw was probably the last thing you ever wanted to see, but what I'm about to say to you is very important. You can never speak of this to anybody-"
"Fuck that Brian, you know she will! Anyone would! I fucking told you! Didn't I? I fucking told you not to touch me! but no, everything has to be Brian's way. Ever since you got here you haven't listened to a fucking word I've said. And now, you broke the only promise I ever wanted you to make me!" I screamed.
Nancy continued to stand there, like a statue with moving eyes to take all of this in. Brian also stared at me, his eyes brimming and frightened looking as I continued to yell at him.
"My father was fucking right. I should have just listened to what he told me and said no to you from the very beginning. You've done nothing but make me question my every move and word! And I'm sick of you downsizing me when I'm the one who's boss!"
"Zack, I... I'm sorry-"
I turned away from him, eyes burning with tears and spite. I was still quivering from the disconcertion and the numbing heat of being completely and utterly mortified about being walked in on. It was the potential disaster I had wanted to prevent, and now it was here, staring straight at me with ugly horns and smoke.
"Fucking save it for your next employer." I said lowly.
"What?"
"You heard me." My voice nearly cracked.
Brian grasped my shoulder and forced me to turn around and come face to face with him. "Are you firing me?"
"No..." I said. "I'm breaking up with you."
Nancy's hands came up to cover her mouth. Just when I thought here eyes couldn't grow any wider, they did, and she looked petrified. She probably felt as though it were all her fault.
But Nancy wasn't the thing on my mind. It was Brian, looking at me as though he were going to burst into tears. He bit down on his lip, something I had never seen him do to contain any other emotion but lust. His hot chocolate eyes were glassy and the whites were beginning to turn red.
"But... Zachary. I love you."
I let my head fall as the tears fell like embers down my face, scorching my skin as they stung my eyes. "Please, both of you. Just leave." I said in a hoarse whisper.
I saw Brian's shoes before me as I looked to the ground, and I didn't look back up until they were gone and the sounds of his footsteps had stopped their echo.