Holes in my chest
So alot has happened in over a week. So much in fact that I couldn't get around to updating despite this all being update worthy.
The fast and dirty:
On halloween my left lung collapsed (spontaneous pnumothorax)
Ambulance ride ensued and 6 days spent in hospital
The Army after 3 months of paper work/physicals/etc refused me a waiver for my felony
A job has become available that pays decently and I am qualified for
(although I don't know if I have it yet)
Lots of physical pain
The long story:
I went to donate plasma and had a mild pain in my chest on halloween. Nothing severe I thought, just a strange pinch. Laying on my back for 2 hours I didn't notice it had gotten worse till I stood up. Not wanting to freak out the plasma center as I knew it had nothing to do with them I cashed out and walked the 3 miles home. 2 miles into the walk I felt like I was having both an asthma attack (never had asthma but had friends with it) and a mild heart attack. My chest hurt and breathing hurt so bad it was hard to make it the last mile because the pain was causing me to lose vision and almost pass out. I got home and had an ambulance immediately called. Once in the ER they said my lung collapsed and had gotten so deflated it was putting pressure on my heart or its valves. It got a bit fuzzy there. Then they gave me some drug that quite literally turns off your short term memory like a light switch. So although I am told I was coherent while they sliced a hole through my chest and two ribs and insterted a tube into my chest, I have only a black spot in my memory for about an hour.
After that it was a 3 day process. One day the tube helps inflate. One day it holds pressure while the lung seals off the original hole (bleb) and one day of hanging out seeing if it holds. The 3rd day it deflated again while I was up walking around like my doc told me to do. So the process had to be repeated and I was finally released saturday evening.
Getting home I was informed the Army decided after all of this time my felony (which has been known from the start) was not approved for a waiver and I would have to appeal with a tonnage of forms and explanations etc. On top of that I have to wait 6 weeks for my lung to heal before I can do anything heavily physical. If it repops in 6 weeks I require chest surgery. If it doesn't then barring another freak occurance I am fine. By the way my lung deflating wasn't caused by anything including smoking (my doctor reluctantly pointed out I should quit but it wasn't the cause) and that it can "just happen to guys your age and build sometimes." So good news is nothing like a disease, genetic fuck up, permanent damage. Bad news is I didn't cause it so I can't improve or fix anything which makes me feel helpless.
So now I am looking at the waiver appeal process. However with it being at least 1-2 months of more waiting I was told about a possible office/tech job. The pay initially is good. They do give raises and you can telecommute part time. It isn't the end all of jobs but it would pay enough to be able to get even on my school loans and get out of debt in 2 years. Same as the army. I wouldn't have enough to get a car to move or finish my degree however. But if its still a job in 2 years I wouldn't need to move and I could take classes at least half time because I wouldn't be in debt to loans dept. So I am persuing that while also appealing to the Army. Which ever lines up first is my path to take.
I don't know if this random lung thing was God's way of saying the military isn't where I should be. I am not one for working based of what I think the big guy might want. I figure he opens doors or closes them but we gotta find our own way through the maze. Maybe the Army door being jammed mostly closed and a job opening coming up and a hole in my lung are him taking a more active roll in pointing me in the right direction. Maybe it is all random coincidence. It doesn't matter really. I am going with the first opportunity I can lay my hands on and thats that. If the ghost with the most wants me doing something particular then he can pull strings on which opportunity first avails itself. We shall see.
For my part I have to go now because boy howdy are my ribs not happy with me now that they realize a hole was made between them. But it is a good sort of pain (although rather extreme at the moment) so I think its just the nerves waking up fully as things knit together.
Ciao for now
P.S. Much love to Chris for visiting me in the hospital and providing a much needed ride home after I was released. Thanks to my Mom for coming by daily to cheer me up and keep me from freeking out too much. And thanks to God for waking me up to some stuff through all this but not making me suffer to much or keel over in the process.
Oh and if you run into me and I am a complete space cadet, please excuse. The pain killers that I am taking really knock me out. I am taking them only as needed now but feel free to giggle if I am particularly air headed.
The fast and dirty:
On halloween my left lung collapsed (spontaneous pnumothorax)
Ambulance ride ensued and 6 days spent in hospital
The Army after 3 months of paper work/physicals/etc refused me a waiver for my felony
A job has become available that pays decently and I am qualified for
(although I don't know if I have it yet)
Lots of physical pain
The long story:
I went to donate plasma and had a mild pain in my chest on halloween. Nothing severe I thought, just a strange pinch. Laying on my back for 2 hours I didn't notice it had gotten worse till I stood up. Not wanting to freak out the plasma center as I knew it had nothing to do with them I cashed out and walked the 3 miles home. 2 miles into the walk I felt like I was having both an asthma attack (never had asthma but had friends with it) and a mild heart attack. My chest hurt and breathing hurt so bad it was hard to make it the last mile because the pain was causing me to lose vision and almost pass out. I got home and had an ambulance immediately called. Once in the ER they said my lung collapsed and had gotten so deflated it was putting pressure on my heart or its valves. It got a bit fuzzy there. Then they gave me some drug that quite literally turns off your short term memory like a light switch. So although I am told I was coherent while they sliced a hole through my chest and two ribs and insterted a tube into my chest, I have only a black spot in my memory for about an hour.
After that it was a 3 day process. One day the tube helps inflate. One day it holds pressure while the lung seals off the original hole (bleb) and one day of hanging out seeing if it holds. The 3rd day it deflated again while I was up walking around like my doc told me to do. So the process had to be repeated and I was finally released saturday evening.
Getting home I was informed the Army decided after all of this time my felony (which has been known from the start) was not approved for a waiver and I would have to appeal with a tonnage of forms and explanations etc. On top of that I have to wait 6 weeks for my lung to heal before I can do anything heavily physical. If it repops in 6 weeks I require chest surgery. If it doesn't then barring another freak occurance I am fine. By the way my lung deflating wasn't caused by anything including smoking (my doctor reluctantly pointed out I should quit but it wasn't the cause) and that it can "just happen to guys your age and build sometimes." So good news is nothing like a disease, genetic fuck up, permanent damage. Bad news is I didn't cause it so I can't improve or fix anything which makes me feel helpless.
So now I am looking at the waiver appeal process. However with it being at least 1-2 months of more waiting I was told about a possible office/tech job. The pay initially is good. They do give raises and you can telecommute part time. It isn't the end all of jobs but it would pay enough to be able to get even on my school loans and get out of debt in 2 years. Same as the army. I wouldn't have enough to get a car to move or finish my degree however. But if its still a job in 2 years I wouldn't need to move and I could take classes at least half time because I wouldn't be in debt to loans dept. So I am persuing that while also appealing to the Army. Which ever lines up first is my path to take.
I don't know if this random lung thing was God's way of saying the military isn't where I should be. I am not one for working based of what I think the big guy might want. I figure he opens doors or closes them but we gotta find our own way through the maze. Maybe the Army door being jammed mostly closed and a job opening coming up and a hole in my lung are him taking a more active roll in pointing me in the right direction. Maybe it is all random coincidence. It doesn't matter really. I am going with the first opportunity I can lay my hands on and thats that. If the ghost with the most wants me doing something particular then he can pull strings on which opportunity first avails itself. We shall see.
For my part I have to go now because boy howdy are my ribs not happy with me now that they realize a hole was made between them. But it is a good sort of pain (although rather extreme at the moment) so I think its just the nerves waking up fully as things knit together.
Ciao for now
P.S. Much love to Chris for visiting me in the hospital and providing a much needed ride home after I was released. Thanks to my Mom for coming by daily to cheer me up and keep me from freeking out too much. And thanks to God for waking me up to some stuff through all this but not making me suffer to much or keel over in the process.
Oh and if you run into me and I am a complete space cadet, please excuse. The pain killers that I am taking really knock me out. I am taking them only as needed now but feel free to giggle if I am particularly air headed.