(no subject)
It's been a while since I posted something open to all eyes. Figured it was time for an update.
It struck me the other day that I'm turning 26 in less than six months - come the beginning of February, I'm officially closer to being thirty than I am to being twenty. I'm... growing up, and it's a weird feeling.
Was talking to Pierre last night about how he's moving and how I'm finally feeling like I'm settled into my place. When Mike was here things were fun, but it always felt like it wasn't going to last as things were; lo and behold, Mike moved out in May, with Winter moving in on the heels of that in July. Since Winter's arrival... damned if I can explain it, but now that it's a fully furry household, things feel like they finally FIT, that the people that are supposed to be here are here. There's a palpable sense of calm in the house, even with so many of us that live here having our lives in some form of upheaval somewhere or another. Pierre made a good point as well, about how he felt like he was finally settling into his PLACE, the one he'd be staying at for some years to come, the one he'd be able to make his own for a time. It made me realize that I want to do the same with my own space, even though it's merely a single room.
I'm looking around my bedroom right now and I'm shaking my head at myself. I'm 25, my space shouldn't be this much of a flat out MESS. There's so much holdover from my old life with Adam and the time spent in Morningside that I'm almost feeling overwhelmed by the volume of sheer JUNK sitting here in my possession. I have books on my dresser that I'll never read, clothes in the laundry room that I'll never wear again, paperwork from three and four years ago that is simply garbage that made it through the move under the guise of possibly being important down the road. For fuck's sake, I've been quit of cigarettes since April and I'm finding old empty cig packs around here still! This needs to change.
I'm swearing this now - I'm spending the next few months getting this shit dealt with and out of here for good. No more junk, no more disorganization, no more old shit that I have no use for. One more thing to add to the list of shit to get dealt with, but it's all good - by the time my birthday rolls around, I want my room to be cleaned up and organized, ready for customization. I'm getting rid of this bed and getting a futon, maybe get a stash table; some curtains to go across where my desktop computer is once I've gone through that sumbitch and cleaned it out too. Transfer my music and pics to the laptop and let Winter use it for a while - it gives him a computer to play on until he gets a new one and frees up room in my closet for clothing. Win-win, if you ask me. Old useless books will be sold for ones I can use; old useless clothing will be washed and donated to the handiest thrift store I can get 'em to. Invest in some new shelves for books and such, or at least better storage bins for the kiddy books I have downstairs and the ones that I still want, but don't have the room for in my room as such. It won't be done in a weekend, but if I focus on one piece at a time when I'm off work, I'll be able to whittle it down piece by piece. If I stay true and don't slack, I should be ready to start jazzing up my room by the time my birthday rolls around.
That leads to another transition I'm in - my love life. I have so many partners of varying titles and such that most people would probably wonder how I was able to manage it. Thing is, I'm managing it fine because I'm finally realizing that I'm happy being non-committal right now. For so long, I've been in steady, mostly-monogamous relationships that I'm out of my comfort zone when I don't have one on the go. Now, even though I have no specific partner, the ones I do have are fulfilling to me. I enjoy the time I spend with all of them and hope they enjoy time spent with me as well. I'm broadening my horizons in my social circle to people outside of the Internet, though I keep those friendships going as best I can as well, with so many of my dearest and most trusted buddies being in the US. Ultimately, I'm getting into the mindset of doing things for me, of improving me before worrying about those around me, and I'm becoming a better person for it.
So many other small things in the midst of all this, too. I've got plans to start whittling down my debts piece by piece over the next few months; pay off the overdue bills I've been ignoring, pay down and eliminate my credit card debt and start saving up for the things I want for me. I want my tattoos, which won't be cheap by any stretch of the imagination. I want to finish stretching my ears and start investing in some nice jewelry for them. I want to get together an army so I can start playing Warhammer with Winter. I want to put together a cosplay for next Halloween and lose weight so that I look GOOD in it - hell, lose weight so I look good period (yes, I know I already do, but trimming down my tummy will make me healthier and happier). I want to make my lemur tail.
By the end of 2010, I want my life to look like the life I'd always imagined having. I know I can do it.
It struck me the other day that I'm turning 26 in less than six months - come the beginning of February, I'm officially closer to being thirty than I am to being twenty. I'm... growing up, and it's a weird feeling.
Was talking to Pierre last night about how he's moving and how I'm finally feeling like I'm settled into my place. When Mike was here things were fun, but it always felt like it wasn't going to last as things were; lo and behold, Mike moved out in May, with Winter moving in on the heels of that in July. Since Winter's arrival... damned if I can explain it, but now that it's a fully furry household, things feel like they finally FIT, that the people that are supposed to be here are here. There's a palpable sense of calm in the house, even with so many of us that live here having our lives in some form of upheaval somewhere or another. Pierre made a good point as well, about how he felt like he was finally settling into his PLACE, the one he'd be staying at for some years to come, the one he'd be able to make his own for a time. It made me realize that I want to do the same with my own space, even though it's merely a single room.
I'm looking around my bedroom right now and I'm shaking my head at myself. I'm 25, my space shouldn't be this much of a flat out MESS. There's so much holdover from my old life with Adam and the time spent in Morningside that I'm almost feeling overwhelmed by the volume of sheer JUNK sitting here in my possession. I have books on my dresser that I'll never read, clothes in the laundry room that I'll never wear again, paperwork from three and four years ago that is simply garbage that made it through the move under the guise of possibly being important down the road. For fuck's sake, I've been quit of cigarettes since April and I'm finding old empty cig packs around here still! This needs to change.
I'm swearing this now - I'm spending the next few months getting this shit dealt with and out of here for good. No more junk, no more disorganization, no more old shit that I have no use for. One more thing to add to the list of shit to get dealt with, but it's all good - by the time my birthday rolls around, I want my room to be cleaned up and organized, ready for customization. I'm getting rid of this bed and getting a futon, maybe get a stash table; some curtains to go across where my desktop computer is once I've gone through that sumbitch and cleaned it out too. Transfer my music and pics to the laptop and let Winter use it for a while - it gives him a computer to play on until he gets a new one and frees up room in my closet for clothing. Win-win, if you ask me. Old useless books will be sold for ones I can use; old useless clothing will be washed and donated to the handiest thrift store I can get 'em to. Invest in some new shelves for books and such, or at least better storage bins for the kiddy books I have downstairs and the ones that I still want, but don't have the room for in my room as such. It won't be done in a weekend, but if I focus on one piece at a time when I'm off work, I'll be able to whittle it down piece by piece. If I stay true and don't slack, I should be ready to start jazzing up my room by the time my birthday rolls around.
That leads to another transition I'm in - my love life. I have so many partners of varying titles and such that most people would probably wonder how I was able to manage it. Thing is, I'm managing it fine because I'm finally realizing that I'm happy being non-committal right now. For so long, I've been in steady, mostly-monogamous relationships that I'm out of my comfort zone when I don't have one on the go. Now, even though I have no specific partner, the ones I do have are fulfilling to me. I enjoy the time I spend with all of them and hope they enjoy time spent with me as well. I'm broadening my horizons in my social circle to people outside of the Internet, though I keep those friendships going as best I can as well, with so many of my dearest and most trusted buddies being in the US. Ultimately, I'm getting into the mindset of doing things for me, of improving me before worrying about those around me, and I'm becoming a better person for it.
So many other small things in the midst of all this, too. I've got plans to start whittling down my debts piece by piece over the next few months; pay off the overdue bills I've been ignoring, pay down and eliminate my credit card debt and start saving up for the things I want for me. I want my tattoos, which won't be cheap by any stretch of the imagination. I want to finish stretching my ears and start investing in some nice jewelry for them. I want to get together an army so I can start playing Warhammer with Winter. I want to put together a cosplay for next Halloween and lose weight so that I look GOOD in it - hell, lose weight so I look good period (yes, I know I already do, but trimming down my tummy will make me healthier and happier). I want to make my lemur tail.
By the end of 2010, I want my life to look like the life I'd always imagined having. I know I can do it.