sex joke in my email today....syntonic_commaAugust 24 2007, 12:35:13 UTC
A modern, Orthodox, Jewish couple, preparing for a religious wedding, meets with their rabbi for counseling. The rabbi asks if they have any last questions before they leave.
"Rabbi, we realize it's tradition for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women at the reception. But, we'd like your permission to dance together."
"Absolutely not. It's immodest. Men and women always dance separately."
"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"
"No. It's forbidden."
"Well, okay, what about sex? Can we finally have sex?"
"Of course! Sex is a mitzvah [good thing] within marriage, to have children!"
"What about different positions?"
"No problem. "It's a mitzvah!"
"Woman on top?"
"Sure. Go for it! It's a mitzvah!"
"Doggy style?"
"Sure! Another mitzvah!"
"On the kitchen table?"
"Yes, yes! A mitzvah!"
"Can we do it on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, a leather harness, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"
"Rabbi, we realize it's tradition for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women at the reception. But, we'd like your permission to dance together."
"Absolutely not. It's immodest. Men and women always dance separately."
"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"
"No. It's forbidden."
"Well, okay, what about sex? Can we finally have sex?"
"Of course! Sex is a mitzvah [good thing] within marriage, to have children!"
"What about different positions?"
"No problem. "It's a mitzvah!"
"Woman on top?"
"Sure. Go for it! It's a mitzvah!"
"Doggy style?"
"Sure! Another mitzvah!"
"On the kitchen table?"
"Yes, yes! A mitzvah!"
"Can we do it on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, a leather harness, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"
"You may indeed. It's all a mitzvah!"
"Can we do it standing up?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"It could lead to dancing!"
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