Layer: 007
The only time I plan on going out of my house today; is to look for a job and to smoke (and probably not even that). Otherwise nothing except to stay in my house and do nothing...
However nothing means; mindless chores, lay in bed, prop knees to my chest in a corner crying, listening to The Cure and/or Brighteyes, possibly filling out applications for a job, and crying once again.
::dies::
I wish I could call Cher or Sara but I cann't, wish I could call someone in town, but I cann't... just too upset too afraid too worthless. I feel unworthy to have anyone that I do have, that in some huge way Im screwing things up or being a huge disappointment to them therefore becoming unworthy. Trying to make myself better as of yesterday concerning certain things however...
::sigh::
however... I feel as if Im already too late. I just want someone here, to hold me, pet my head, listen to my crying and frustrations with everything/everyone.
However nothing means; mindless chores, lay in bed, prop knees to my chest in a corner crying, listening to The Cure and/or Brighteyes, possibly filling out applications for a job, and crying once again.
::dies::
I wish I could call Cher or Sara but I cann't, wish I could call someone in town, but I cann't... just too upset too afraid too worthless. I feel unworthy to have anyone that I do have, that in some huge way Im screwing things up or being a huge disappointment to them therefore becoming unworthy. Trying to make myself better as of yesterday concerning certain things however...
::sigh::
however... I feel as if Im already too late. I just want someone here, to hold me, pet my head, listen to my crying and frustrations with everything/everyone.