never cared too much about honesty
It’s cold outside. Wind and grey skies. It seeps in, through the cracks around the door, through the single-paned windows. It gathers in the corners, the same way darkness does. And you shut it out. Close your curtains, lock your doors. Pull the blankets in around you, sip your coffee inhale your coffee.
Quiet nights alone. Never quite your shining moments. You’re never quite at your best. Drawing within to that place that’s made up more of ideas and less of reality. Reality’s so bright lately, the contrast is heightened; those dim corners grow ever dimmer in comparison. But that’s how it’s supposed to be. That’s how you always wanted it.
We all waste our time in different ways. Waste away little bits of our life. Maybe it’s not a waste. Maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be. Maybe that’s how we want it.
I gave a man twenty dollars today. He was pushing a grocery cart full of tattered paper bags and had one of those stories about not having eaten in three days. I don’t really care if he was telling the truth or not. I never gave money to one of those people before, I probably won’t again. And I don’t care how he spends the money. If he wants to spend it on alcohol and cigarettes, well then…at least today, he got what he wanted. Now and then, everyone should get what they want. Even if it’s just to waste some money, some time, some life.
And, well, it was so cold outside.