Recap
I cant even begin to explain how life truly is.!
I know no one ever reads this (exept steph lol) but i just felt like venting out to the world.
Im trying to get myself is the cosmotolgy indestry. I figure, im still young, it runs in the family.. why not right? Im going on an interview on sat at Sephora in centry city. Im so excited because i KNOW i will get this job. I have a great feeling about it. Ive been extreamly open minded latly and i think thats a good thing.
Ive been hanging out alot with old homies, ive been making a shit load of new friends and it really good, but i have those days or moments where i wish i was still home watching simpsons with my man. Dont get me wrong, i really am over him, but i admit.. i still care about him and will always love him for the rest of my life. Im very happy he is happy (i hope) and i wish him the best in life. I was reading his old journal entries from 2002-2003 and fuck..... he was SOOOOOOOO fucking inlove with me. I miss that because ever guy i see now or hook up with just isnt the same... all they want is to fuck and i think that is so disgusting!
anyway.. ive been going to this bar "Joxers's" in culver city every friday with the old high school friends, been going to funktion every wensday, and just seeing as many people as i possibly can because i havent been able to do that for years and it feels really good. i still feel empty inside, like a part of me is gone forever but im sure one day that will be healed. to be honest, ive been taking my depression and turning it into rebelion, and thats not a healty way to live.
im doing ok i guess overall... im actually suprised im not in therepy LOL but i know im a serviver. Looseing 2 of the most important people in my life within 3 months is alot to handle and im ok i guess. it does make you stronger in the end. it really does. I wish that hurt would go away tho. it takes time.
i love my friends and thanks for always putting up with me regardless.
I know no one ever reads this (exept steph lol) but i just felt like venting out to the world.
Im trying to get myself is the cosmotolgy indestry. I figure, im still young, it runs in the family.. why not right? Im going on an interview on sat at Sephora in centry city. Im so excited because i KNOW i will get this job. I have a great feeling about it. Ive been extreamly open minded latly and i think thats a good thing.
Ive been hanging out alot with old homies, ive been making a shit load of new friends and it really good, but i have those days or moments where i wish i was still home watching simpsons with my man. Dont get me wrong, i really am over him, but i admit.. i still care about him and will always love him for the rest of my life. Im very happy he is happy (i hope) and i wish him the best in life. I was reading his old journal entries from 2002-2003 and fuck..... he was SOOOOOOOO fucking inlove with me. I miss that because ever guy i see now or hook up with just isnt the same... all they want is to fuck and i think that is so disgusting!
anyway.. ive been going to this bar "Joxers's" in culver city every friday with the old high school friends, been going to funktion every wensday, and just seeing as many people as i possibly can because i havent been able to do that for years and it feels really good. i still feel empty inside, like a part of me is gone forever but im sure one day that will be healed. to be honest, ive been taking my depression and turning it into rebelion, and thats not a healty way to live.
im doing ok i guess overall... im actually suprised im not in therepy LOL but i know im a serviver. Looseing 2 of the most important people in my life within 3 months is alot to handle and im ok i guess. it does make you stronger in the end. it really does. I wish that hurt would go away tho. it takes time.
i love my friends and thanks for always putting up with me regardless.