Thirty Something: The Why Files of Frank Anthony Iero Jr. (12/12)
Title: Thirty Something: The Why Files of Frank Anthony Iero Jr. Way (12/12)
Author:
xx_anarchy_xx
Rating: Hard R
Pairing: Gerard/Frank, Ray/Bob, Brendon/Ryan, Jamia/Jared, Mikey/Alicia
Disclaimer: I own nothing but merchandise and an overactive imagination
Summary: The first kiss of the year is a good indicator of how the rest will pan out and if they're all as good as that one then I'm gonna be a really lucky guy...
Characters: My Chemical Romance/ Panic at the Disco
Warnings: AU, boysex
Author's Note: Thanks to all who have read and taken the time to comment.
January // February // March // April // May // June // July // August // September // October // November
Friday, December 1st
The sea breeze floated through the open window, making my hair tickle the back of my neck and remind me that I really need a hair cut. The world below my head gently rose and fell; the thumping under my ear almost hypnotic.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
Rise… Fall… Rise…
Tomorrow we have to go home. I don’t want to go home. I like it here far too much because it’s quiet, the only noises are the ones you want to hear, wildlife and the sea. No screaming kids, no traffic, no one yelling at each other in the street, no domestic disturbances on the floor below you. Just peace. Peace and rough sex but I get that at home anyway.
Gee smacked his lips together the way you sometimes do when you first wake up, disrupting the peace, before he rolled his head on the pillow just to add to the bed head I was gonna have some fun playing with. My hand clung to his bare hip while the other was joined with his, outstretched to the side so it looked like we’d been dancing lying down. I kissed the world below my head. It tasted like sweat and old deodorant. Gee giggled and shifted before fully waking up and looking down at me, stuck to his chest like a barnacle. He smiled and it warmed my heart like the sun on my skin.
“Hey,” he mumbled, using his free hand to rub the sleep out of his eyes.
“Hey, you okay? I didn’t hurt you did I?” A sudden flash of worry spiked in my brain. Gee smiled and shook his head.
“If you did I would have said something.”
“Why wouldn’t you let me do that sooner?” His heart rate got faster under my ear as if someone has turned up the frequency.
ThumpThumpThumpThumpThumpThumpThumpThumpThump
Rise… Fall… Rise…
“First time. I was sixteen and I’d gotten a fake ID from some kid at school so I could go drinking. No one knew where I’d really gone when I left the house. I told my family I was staying at Ray’s for the night; I told him that I was sick and mom wanted to mother me better so I could do my own thing. I still can’t believe the bartender bought it, I was obviously sixteen but he just kept taking my money until I was thoroughly wasted and barely able to sit down let alone stand. Anyway I get talking to this guy with big blue eyes that I found irresistibly creepy. Looking back it was obvious what he wanted but I didn’t pick up on it. One thing led to another and I wake up on his floor with his wife screaming at me like it’s all my fault her husband came onto me with the worst pain in my ass so I could barely get up let alone walk away with my head held high. The pain didn’t go away for weeks. I had to hide the fact I was walking weird from everyone cause then they’d know what I’d done, that I’d lied to them. After I’d left the guy’s house, with his wife still screaming at me attracting lots of neighborly attention, I started to get mad flashbacks about what happened. It was all pretty horrible. I pretty much decided that I was never gonna do that again!”
The great secret was out. The one thing Gee had never told me. His heart was still fast as I gripped his hand tighter and smiled.
“I wasn’t sober when I lost my virginity either. I did loose it to my friend’s mom but that’s a different matter.”
Ah Mrs. Saporta, you still have the greatest body for any woman I’ve ever seen. Sorry Gabe but it’s true, well, not that you’ll ever find out anyway cause I have no intention of telling you! You’ll set one of your cobras on me while I sleep or suffocate me with your fucking purple hoddie.
“Really? Someone’s mom?” Gee grinned, his heart rate slowing back to normal. I nodded as best I could. “That’s like everest for straight guys, ain’t it?”
“Something like that.”
Like everest for straight guys. I’m gonna use that phrase for everything now.
Saturday, December 2nd
“It’s weird that we have to go back to our lives,” I mused while Gee packed the last of his things. We had to leave at a rediculous time where your not really sure if it’s night or morning so there was no point going to sleep. “I like it here. I want to stay!”
“Tell you what,” Gee started, turning around from his suitcase to grin at me lying on the bed like a child having a tantrum, “If I ever win the lottery, or become a millionare or something I’ll buy you this place with your own private jet so you wouldn’t have to get up at stupid times.”
“Really?”
“Course. I’d also get us a massive big house and a selection of cars that most people haven’t even heard of yet and a bunch of other stuff that in the long run own’t make us any happier but it’ll make life easier to cope with.”
“Now you make it sound like a bad thing. Lots of stuff would be cool!”
“Depends what it is.”
“An art studio?”
“Now that would be cool.”
The stewardess looked like she’s been put together using plastacine and cello tape, all covered up in a coat of orange wall paint thicker than my thumb.
“That woman is actually scaring me,” I hissed as she turned back to walk down in between the mostly sleeping passangers, blue eyeshadow like a neon light you’d find flashing outside a strip club. Gee mumbled something, half alseep in his seat.
“She’ll go soon enough,” he slurred, trying to open his eyes and failing.
“Yeah, but, then she’ll come back. She always comes back.”
“Because that’s her job,” Gee pointed out.
“I know that, but still…”
“Just ignore her and she’ll ignore you. Can’t believe you’re gettig freaking out by an air stewardess!”
“She’s orange! Looks like she picked her foundation colour from a hardware store paint sample!”
“What colour does that make us then?” He giggled, sitting up and still trying to stay awake.
“Not orange for a start! Man, the guys are gonna flip when they see that we’ve got tans.”
“It’s not that surprising, just a little unusual.”
“Really? I bet $50 they’ll make some kind of a deal out of it.”
“Done!”
Sunday, December 3rd
They did notice and they made a HUGE deal out of it. Ray kept poking Gee too see if it was fake, like it would smudge on his finger or something. It’s not like I can spend the $50 anyway, oh no, I need to give it to the bank. I need to start earning again or they’ll reposess something I can’t afford to have reposessed.
Which sukcs but there’s fuck all I can do about it now.
Luke was happy to see me again for one reason: to see if I’d bought him back any souviniers. Considering I was somewhat preoccupied most of the time I’d forgotten so I gave him one of the cool caramel candy bars I stole from the minifridge. It kept him happy until the suagr kicked in then it was right back to normal, like I’d never left.
I haven’t really got a place to hang my hammock. I’m considering hanging it above the couch so it would be like a really shitty bunk bed. Gee didn’t look too happy about the idea so I think it’s gonna be a non starter. I’d be alright if we had a garden, or a bigger window so I could hang it in between the frame. So I’ve basically just got a rolled up net until I find a place to put it and swing my nights away in comfy bliss.
Isabella was just a blur of pink, which isn’t the best colour to see when you’ve just gotten off a plane and are jetlagged and really, really want to go to sleep. Well it was her birthday so she I couldn’t really say anything. Not that I would have anyway. But pretending to be happy for someone is a lot harder when you’re tired and grouchy and will soon have a six year old bouncing on top of you while you try to sleep because he’s hyper on caramel.
Right back to normal life I guess.
Monday, December 4th
Tattooing + jetlag = a potential lawsuit.
I fell asleep on a customer. Embarrassed isn’t the word. I’m just lucky I dropped the machine so I didn’t actually touch her otherwise I’d have had a lawsuit on my hands and I really can’t afford legal bills, I can’t really afford regular bills right now. I couldn’t if I lived on my own that’s for sure. Hell, Gee paid for the fucking honeymoon and I know that wasn’t fucking cheap! Jepha made me work at the counter; he knows how much I need money right now, before I had the chance to fuck up someone else’s skin. I tried so hard to stay awake but by the time he told me it as time to go home I’d fallen asleep for three hours.
How professional does that look?
Wednesday, December 5th
My jetlag’s pretty much gone, probably because I’ve been sleeping constantly while I’ve been at home. It’s a great start to normal married life, being asleep. With the grown ups being asleep Luke’s been up to mischief which is a nightmare to wake up to and then have to clean up cause it can never be tidy mischief, it always has to be messy… and sticky weirdly enough.
Saturday, December 8th
Christmas shopping at the mall. Doesn’t get more mundane than that. The same inflatable singing Santa that they have there every year was outside the doors. It didn’t start singing until Gee walked passed it, which freaked him out and made me and Luke laugh.
“Every year it does that! No one else! Just me!” He ranted, trying to regain his composure as kids stared at him before getting dragged into the mall by their parents, eager to get the ordeal over with.
“Maybe it likes you,” I joked.
“Well I don’t like it. I swear there’s some guy that operates it and picks on me every year.”
“Yes Gee, because people really have time to do that,” I said sarcastically. “Either that or you’ve got a very tame stalker who only pops out once a year.... in the form of a giant Santa.”
I hate Christmas shopping; there are too many people all after the same thing. That perfect gift. Very rarely do they get it right and then you end up with a bunch of junk you can’t get rid of until late January because it’s rude to clear your shit out before then. Well, that’s what mom taught me anyway. Dunno if it’s true or not but it makes practical sense if nothing else. Luke stuck by us most of the time; I didn’t want to loose him in the madness. We only got a few things, Gee still ranting about the giant Santa most of the time. I’ve yet to tell him that I bought one today when he wasn’t looking, just a miniature version but I’m gonna set it up while he’s asleep on his side of the bed. It has a motion sensor in it so whenever someone moves in front of it the singing starts.
If this isn’t 100% hilarious I want a refund.
Monday, December 10th
Gee is really pissed. He very rarely gets really pissed but when he does stay the fuck out of his way! I made sure he had plenty of space before even attempting to ask him what was wrong.
“We’ve got a new section manager, who no one knew was coming, meaning our old one, the one we liked, is out. She doesn’t know the difference between R. Black and Yoshitaka Amano’s work. It’s fucking crazy! If you’re gonna hire a section manager get one that knows stuff about the company!”
I think I’m gonna leave the Santa in the bag until next week. Getting him more pissed off now would be disastrous.
Saturday, December 15th
A bunch of gifts I ordered arrived this morning. And I mean a bunch, took me two trips to get them all inside the apartment. I even managed to hide them all before Gee woke up which was good. Internet shopping, the end of malls everywhere.
About fucking time too. Keep me away from all those desperate last minute bargain grabbers. Not that you can find bargains at Christmas but that’s not the point.
Monday, December 17th
Another school day, another letter meaning something else I have to attend. No prizes for guessing it was something about Jesus.
“See, if Jesus was portrayed as a zombie, the nativity scene would be a lot more interesting,” Gee said, paying the delivery kid at the door.
“You mean he was a zombie since birth?” I laughed. Gee went blank before sighing loudly.
“Wrong time, but yeah if he was it would be a lot better.”
“What? An infant ripping angels to pieces?” I asked. Gee nodded. “You’re right, that would be better.”
“Be even better if his face was inflatable,” Luke chipped in. We both looked at him.
“Explain,” Gee asked, handing us our Chinese take out.
“Because it would pop in the hay and then you’d have the shepards and the angels all ducking for cover, not knowing what’s going on. And later on with the crown of thorns too. The Romans would know what was happening!” He grinned, pulling apart the small white box in his possession.
“Man that would be hilarious!” I laughed. “You do realise when we have to go to this thing that’s all I’m gonna be able to think about now?”
Luke grinned. He knew what he was doing.
The play thing is on Friday. The day the kids leave for the year. I’m working until Christmas fucking day so I’m gonna have to work something out.
Tuesday, December 18th
“Remember that bitch of a section manager I told you about?” Gee started, a grin plastered on his face.
“Yeah, you were pissed off for three days about it, how the hell can I forget?” I said, not taking my eyes off the tattoo plan in front of me, tiny pieces of paper/inspiration laid out over a serving tray.
“Well, there was an email petition going round to get rid of her. Someone higher up found it and she got canned! Shows the power of the people.”
“So she lost her job just before Christmas?” I asked, putting it a way he’d obviously not thought about. His grin fell slightly but was still there.
“I guess so.”
“Why do I get the felling that your office is like a male geek only club?”
“Because it almost is. It really would be if Gemma didn’t have the corner desk.”
Wednesday, December 19th
More bills. One from the bank. I’ve been paying them back steadily so I thought I would have made a dent in the debt. Turns out that isn’t true. I nearly passed out with shock when I saw how much I still had to pay back.
Seriously, borrow $3000 and you pay with your life!
Friday, December 21st
The nativity scene has never really hit me as something that should be watched over and over and over and over and over again. Once, maybe if you couldn’t read, but really. Every year? That’s just too much to take. I had to do it when I was a kid, stand in front of all the parents and pretend to be amazing by a ratty plastic doll wrapped up in a dishrag. Needless to say I wasn’t so I stood at the back with all the other shepards and told quiet jokes. I would have gotten away with it if the guy I was stood next to didn’t burst out laughing.
I punched him so hard for that.
To be honest I was on the verge of falling asleep in my chair until Gee started making little popping noises, looking at me sideways with a smirk. It was so hard to hold in the giggles so I joined in and it became a game of chicken. Take it in turns for louder pops each time.
I won because I have no shame. I could feel the glares from the people behind us.
“Were you making popping noises?” Luke asked when it was over. We nodded. “I was wondering who that was.”
Saturday, December 22nd
“Ohh and I want a bike, a red one, and rollerblades and flashing lights to go on the wheels that spell out my name and…”
“He wants a lot of stuff,” Gee hissed as we listened to Luke write his Christmas list.
“I know, but I’ve already got everything so he’s gonna be majorly disappointed.”
“…and a chainsaw…”
“Why do you want a chainsaw?” I asked, freaked out that he wanted one.
“To chop stuff,” he shrugged like it was an obvious answer.
“Yeah Frankie,” Gee played along. “What else are you supposed to do with a chainsaw?” I shoved him gently as he laughed at my expense.
“…and a snake…”
“Santa isn’t gonna get you a snake,” I said. “He doesn’t do animals.”
“Not surprised with the gut on him…” Gee muttered. It took a few moments for it to sink in.
EW!
“Why not?” Luke asked. “He gave Lucy a puppy last year! Why can’t he give me a snake?”
“Because he doesn’t like reptiles. That’s why he lives at the North Pole, no reptiles there.” Gee gave me an odd look and shook it away pretty fast when I confronted him about it. “You know it’s true!”
“I’m not denying the science of it…”
Monday, December 24th
Last day before Christmas. Thank Christ. Literally. Get two days off then I’m back till New Years Eve, two days off, then I’m back to normal. It’s a weird system but it works.
A woman asked me to do a portrait today, which was terrifying. I’ve never really done them but she trusted me. ME! The guy who fell asleep on a customer!
Obviously I didn’t mention that. Some things are best left unsaid.
The portrait was of her mom who recently died. You can’t say no to that. It’s just too personal. Took hours but I did it. Easily the best thing I’ve ever tattooed. Even Jepha looked impressed and he’s not easy to impress.
Every year me and Gee have a tradition to mark the day we got together. It’s stupid but fun. We go to the roof and yell at the city things about each other. (I leave Luke with a walkie talkie, just in case.)
“Gerard Way likes it when I bite his ear!” I yelled.
“Frank Ie…Way likes it when I make him bleed!”
“Gerard Way likes to be tied up!”
“Frank Way likes it when I spank him!”
“Gerard Way likes it when I make him bark like a dog!”
“Frank Way likes it when I slap the collar on him!”
“I really do actually!”
Tuesday, December 25th
I don’t know if you’ve ever been woken up by a six year old using you as a trampoline but I can tell you it’s not fun.
“Can I open something?” Luke yelled, still bouncing on me. Just me.
Yeah, the door and go back to sleep!
“Not yet, wait until I’m awake.”
Which won’t be for four hours!
Christmas is weird at our place. We have two. One for Luke and one for me and Gee on Boxing Day (cause a lot of your stuff is just plain weird/wrong) while Luke’s at Jamia’s having his second Christmas.
Every time he smiles it makes me happy, it’s a dad thing I know it is. The air is flurry of paper and plastic and it’s all over by 2 which means near peace for the rest of the day. Unless he wants you to install it, or put it together then the air is blue with half swears and we have to break out the band-aids.
Vacuumed plastic is a bitch!
Wednesday, December 26th
Several of our gifts were put to use straight away which kinda meant I was bent over everything I could be bent over. I mean I could have stopped it and switched it around but I didn’t really want to. My thighs are covered in little half moons from Gee’s nails.
They’ll be there for days yet.
Thursday, December 27th
I think word has spread about my portrait tattoo because a guy came in and asked me to do one for him, then another guy asked as well. Obviously spending some Christmas money while the rest of us have to work.
“I think the shop may have a niche,” Jepha said, watching me draw out an eye in detail.
“Portraits? Thanks!”
Friday, December 28th
The shop’s niche is defiantly portraits now. I book appointments all morning and that’s all anyone asked for. News travels fast around here, I found out I could do them as well as I can four days ago! Portraits are good money though cause you have to put more work into them, which means more time in the chair. That’s what you have to pay for anyway. The time and the inks.
Saturday, December 30th
Spent most of the day copying faces from old photos we have. I’m pretty sure for a second Gee thought I was trying to mussel in on his job until he saw that I wasn’t making them any different that the photos.
Practice is practice and considering I have a bunch of portrait appointments set up for next year I’m gonna need it. You have to stay on top otherwise you get dragged down and people over take you. This could be an awesome opportunity for me to make a name for myself, to get more people into the shop.
Sunday, December 31st
From the roof of Brendon’s apartment building you can see everything. We sat up there and waited for the big clock in the city to start counting down. We could hear the people partying in the streets. Isabella was already asleep in Brendon’s arms making it very hard for him and Ryan to hug properly. Jon and Spencer on the other hand were tongue fucking like no one was watching! Ray and Bob were stood with their arms around each other smiling like mad, waiting for the clock to tell them when to kiss. Mikey and Alicia toasted the past year and grinned at each other, whispering things into each other’s ears that made them giggle like little kids. Chloe and Luke were chasing each other around, staying away from the edge like we told them to, hyper on neon pixie sticks. I looked out towards the city, its lights glowing, houses and apartments filled with people like us doing exactly the same thing. Gee rested his head on my shoulder, his arms firmly around my waist. From the rooftop we could hear everyone countdown to the New Year, where everything would be different and nothing like the year before. Their voices rang high into the sky to our ears.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Happy New Year!
Gee spun me round and kissed me before I knew what was going on, his hands spread between my back and my head. Mine instantly went for the back of his belt.
Says a lot really.
So ends another year. Roll on the next.
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Well that's it. Thanks to everyone again for reading =]
Feel free to add me if you want to see more of my writing, some of the things on here will never be posted anywhere else.
Author:
xx_anarchy_xx
Rating: Hard R
Pairing: Gerard/Frank, Ray/Bob, Brendon/Ryan, Jamia/Jared, Mikey/Alicia
Disclaimer: I own nothing but merchandise and an overactive imagination
Summary: The first kiss of the year is a good indicator of how the rest will pan out and if they're all as good as that one then I'm gonna be a really lucky guy...
Characters: My Chemical Romance/ Panic at the Disco
Warnings: AU, boysex
Author's Note: Thanks to all who have read and taken the time to comment.
January // February // March // April // May // June // July // August // September // October // November
Friday, December 1st
The sea breeze floated through the open window, making my hair tickle the back of my neck and remind me that I really need a hair cut. The world below my head gently rose and fell; the thumping under my ear almost hypnotic.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
Rise… Fall… Rise…
Tomorrow we have to go home. I don’t want to go home. I like it here far too much because it’s quiet, the only noises are the ones you want to hear, wildlife and the sea. No screaming kids, no traffic, no one yelling at each other in the street, no domestic disturbances on the floor below you. Just peace. Peace and rough sex but I get that at home anyway.
Gee smacked his lips together the way you sometimes do when you first wake up, disrupting the peace, before he rolled his head on the pillow just to add to the bed head I was gonna have some fun playing with. My hand clung to his bare hip while the other was joined with his, outstretched to the side so it looked like we’d been dancing lying down. I kissed the world below my head. It tasted like sweat and old deodorant. Gee giggled and shifted before fully waking up and looking down at me, stuck to his chest like a barnacle. He smiled and it warmed my heart like the sun on my skin.
“Hey,” he mumbled, using his free hand to rub the sleep out of his eyes.
“Hey, you okay? I didn’t hurt you did I?” A sudden flash of worry spiked in my brain. Gee smiled and shook his head.
“If you did I would have said something.”
“Why wouldn’t you let me do that sooner?” His heart rate got faster under my ear as if someone has turned up the frequency.
ThumpThumpThumpThumpThumpThumpThumpThumpThump
Rise… Fall… Rise…
“First time. I was sixteen and I’d gotten a fake ID from some kid at school so I could go drinking. No one knew where I’d really gone when I left the house. I told my family I was staying at Ray’s for the night; I told him that I was sick and mom wanted to mother me better so I could do my own thing. I still can’t believe the bartender bought it, I was obviously sixteen but he just kept taking my money until I was thoroughly wasted and barely able to sit down let alone stand. Anyway I get talking to this guy with big blue eyes that I found irresistibly creepy. Looking back it was obvious what he wanted but I didn’t pick up on it. One thing led to another and I wake up on his floor with his wife screaming at me like it’s all my fault her husband came onto me with the worst pain in my ass so I could barely get up let alone walk away with my head held high. The pain didn’t go away for weeks. I had to hide the fact I was walking weird from everyone cause then they’d know what I’d done, that I’d lied to them. After I’d left the guy’s house, with his wife still screaming at me attracting lots of neighborly attention, I started to get mad flashbacks about what happened. It was all pretty horrible. I pretty much decided that I was never gonna do that again!”
The great secret was out. The one thing Gee had never told me. His heart was still fast as I gripped his hand tighter and smiled.
“I wasn’t sober when I lost my virginity either. I did loose it to my friend’s mom but that’s a different matter.”
Ah Mrs. Saporta, you still have the greatest body for any woman I’ve ever seen. Sorry Gabe but it’s true, well, not that you’ll ever find out anyway cause I have no intention of telling you! You’ll set one of your cobras on me while I sleep or suffocate me with your fucking purple hoddie.
“Really? Someone’s mom?” Gee grinned, his heart rate slowing back to normal. I nodded as best I could. “That’s like everest for straight guys, ain’t it?”
“Something like that.”
Like everest for straight guys. I’m gonna use that phrase for everything now.
Saturday, December 2nd
“It’s weird that we have to go back to our lives,” I mused while Gee packed the last of his things. We had to leave at a rediculous time where your not really sure if it’s night or morning so there was no point going to sleep. “I like it here. I want to stay!”
“Tell you what,” Gee started, turning around from his suitcase to grin at me lying on the bed like a child having a tantrum, “If I ever win the lottery, or become a millionare or something I’ll buy you this place with your own private jet so you wouldn’t have to get up at stupid times.”
“Really?”
“Course. I’d also get us a massive big house and a selection of cars that most people haven’t even heard of yet and a bunch of other stuff that in the long run own’t make us any happier but it’ll make life easier to cope with.”
“Now you make it sound like a bad thing. Lots of stuff would be cool!”
“Depends what it is.”
“An art studio?”
“Now that would be cool.”
The stewardess looked like she’s been put together using plastacine and cello tape, all covered up in a coat of orange wall paint thicker than my thumb.
“That woman is actually scaring me,” I hissed as she turned back to walk down in between the mostly sleeping passangers, blue eyeshadow like a neon light you’d find flashing outside a strip club. Gee mumbled something, half alseep in his seat.
“She’ll go soon enough,” he slurred, trying to open his eyes and failing.
“Yeah, but, then she’ll come back. She always comes back.”
“Because that’s her job,” Gee pointed out.
“I know that, but still…”
“Just ignore her and she’ll ignore you. Can’t believe you’re gettig freaking out by an air stewardess!”
“She’s orange! Looks like she picked her foundation colour from a hardware store paint sample!”
“What colour does that make us then?” He giggled, sitting up and still trying to stay awake.
“Not orange for a start! Man, the guys are gonna flip when they see that we’ve got tans.”
“It’s not that surprising, just a little unusual.”
“Really? I bet $50 they’ll make some kind of a deal out of it.”
“Done!”
Sunday, December 3rd
They did notice and they made a HUGE deal out of it. Ray kept poking Gee too see if it was fake, like it would smudge on his finger or something. It’s not like I can spend the $50 anyway, oh no, I need to give it to the bank. I need to start earning again or they’ll reposess something I can’t afford to have reposessed.
Which sukcs but there’s fuck all I can do about it now.
Luke was happy to see me again for one reason: to see if I’d bought him back any souviniers. Considering I was somewhat preoccupied most of the time I’d forgotten so I gave him one of the cool caramel candy bars I stole from the minifridge. It kept him happy until the suagr kicked in then it was right back to normal, like I’d never left.
I haven’t really got a place to hang my hammock. I’m considering hanging it above the couch so it would be like a really shitty bunk bed. Gee didn’t look too happy about the idea so I think it’s gonna be a non starter. I’d be alright if we had a garden, or a bigger window so I could hang it in between the frame. So I’ve basically just got a rolled up net until I find a place to put it and swing my nights away in comfy bliss.
Isabella was just a blur of pink, which isn’t the best colour to see when you’ve just gotten off a plane and are jetlagged and really, really want to go to sleep. Well it was her birthday so she I couldn’t really say anything. Not that I would have anyway. But pretending to be happy for someone is a lot harder when you’re tired and grouchy and will soon have a six year old bouncing on top of you while you try to sleep because he’s hyper on caramel.
Right back to normal life I guess.
Monday, December 4th
Tattooing + jetlag = a potential lawsuit.
I fell asleep on a customer. Embarrassed isn’t the word. I’m just lucky I dropped the machine so I didn’t actually touch her otherwise I’d have had a lawsuit on my hands and I really can’t afford legal bills, I can’t really afford regular bills right now. I couldn’t if I lived on my own that’s for sure. Hell, Gee paid for the fucking honeymoon and I know that wasn’t fucking cheap! Jepha made me work at the counter; he knows how much I need money right now, before I had the chance to fuck up someone else’s skin. I tried so hard to stay awake but by the time he told me it as time to go home I’d fallen asleep for three hours.
How professional does that look?
Wednesday, December 5th
My jetlag’s pretty much gone, probably because I’ve been sleeping constantly while I’ve been at home. It’s a great start to normal married life, being asleep. With the grown ups being asleep Luke’s been up to mischief which is a nightmare to wake up to and then have to clean up cause it can never be tidy mischief, it always has to be messy… and sticky weirdly enough.
Saturday, December 8th
Christmas shopping at the mall. Doesn’t get more mundane than that. The same inflatable singing Santa that they have there every year was outside the doors. It didn’t start singing until Gee walked passed it, which freaked him out and made me and Luke laugh.
“Every year it does that! No one else! Just me!” He ranted, trying to regain his composure as kids stared at him before getting dragged into the mall by their parents, eager to get the ordeal over with.
“Maybe it likes you,” I joked.
“Well I don’t like it. I swear there’s some guy that operates it and picks on me every year.”
“Yes Gee, because people really have time to do that,” I said sarcastically. “Either that or you’ve got a very tame stalker who only pops out once a year.... in the form of a giant Santa.”
I hate Christmas shopping; there are too many people all after the same thing. That perfect gift. Very rarely do they get it right and then you end up with a bunch of junk you can’t get rid of until late January because it’s rude to clear your shit out before then. Well, that’s what mom taught me anyway. Dunno if it’s true or not but it makes practical sense if nothing else. Luke stuck by us most of the time; I didn’t want to loose him in the madness. We only got a few things, Gee still ranting about the giant Santa most of the time. I’ve yet to tell him that I bought one today when he wasn’t looking, just a miniature version but I’m gonna set it up while he’s asleep on his side of the bed. It has a motion sensor in it so whenever someone moves in front of it the singing starts.
If this isn’t 100% hilarious I want a refund.
Monday, December 10th
Gee is really pissed. He very rarely gets really pissed but when he does stay the fuck out of his way! I made sure he had plenty of space before even attempting to ask him what was wrong.
“We’ve got a new section manager, who no one knew was coming, meaning our old one, the one we liked, is out. She doesn’t know the difference between R. Black and Yoshitaka Amano’s work. It’s fucking crazy! If you’re gonna hire a section manager get one that knows stuff about the company!”
I think I’m gonna leave the Santa in the bag until next week. Getting him more pissed off now would be disastrous.
Saturday, December 15th
A bunch of gifts I ordered arrived this morning. And I mean a bunch, took me two trips to get them all inside the apartment. I even managed to hide them all before Gee woke up which was good. Internet shopping, the end of malls everywhere.
About fucking time too. Keep me away from all those desperate last minute bargain grabbers. Not that you can find bargains at Christmas but that’s not the point.
Monday, December 17th
Another school day, another letter meaning something else I have to attend. No prizes for guessing it was something about Jesus.
“See, if Jesus was portrayed as a zombie, the nativity scene would be a lot more interesting,” Gee said, paying the delivery kid at the door.
“You mean he was a zombie since birth?” I laughed. Gee went blank before sighing loudly.
“Wrong time, but yeah if he was it would be a lot better.”
“What? An infant ripping angels to pieces?” I asked. Gee nodded. “You’re right, that would be better.”
“Be even better if his face was inflatable,” Luke chipped in. We both looked at him.
“Explain,” Gee asked, handing us our Chinese take out.
“Because it would pop in the hay and then you’d have the shepards and the angels all ducking for cover, not knowing what’s going on. And later on with the crown of thorns too. The Romans would know what was happening!” He grinned, pulling apart the small white box in his possession.
“Man that would be hilarious!” I laughed. “You do realise when we have to go to this thing that’s all I’m gonna be able to think about now?”
Luke grinned. He knew what he was doing.
The play thing is on Friday. The day the kids leave for the year. I’m working until Christmas fucking day so I’m gonna have to work something out.
Tuesday, December 18th
“Remember that bitch of a section manager I told you about?” Gee started, a grin plastered on his face.
“Yeah, you were pissed off for three days about it, how the hell can I forget?” I said, not taking my eyes off the tattoo plan in front of me, tiny pieces of paper/inspiration laid out over a serving tray.
“Well, there was an email petition going round to get rid of her. Someone higher up found it and she got canned! Shows the power of the people.”
“So she lost her job just before Christmas?” I asked, putting it a way he’d obviously not thought about. His grin fell slightly but was still there.
“I guess so.”
“Why do I get the felling that your office is like a male geek only club?”
“Because it almost is. It really would be if Gemma didn’t have the corner desk.”
Wednesday, December 19th
More bills. One from the bank. I’ve been paying them back steadily so I thought I would have made a dent in the debt. Turns out that isn’t true. I nearly passed out with shock when I saw how much I still had to pay back.
Seriously, borrow $3000 and you pay with your life!
Friday, December 21st
The nativity scene has never really hit me as something that should be watched over and over and over and over and over again. Once, maybe if you couldn’t read, but really. Every year? That’s just too much to take. I had to do it when I was a kid, stand in front of all the parents and pretend to be amazing by a ratty plastic doll wrapped up in a dishrag. Needless to say I wasn’t so I stood at the back with all the other shepards and told quiet jokes. I would have gotten away with it if the guy I was stood next to didn’t burst out laughing.
I punched him so hard for that.
To be honest I was on the verge of falling asleep in my chair until Gee started making little popping noises, looking at me sideways with a smirk. It was so hard to hold in the giggles so I joined in and it became a game of chicken. Take it in turns for louder pops each time.
I won because I have no shame. I could feel the glares from the people behind us.
“Were you making popping noises?” Luke asked when it was over. We nodded. “I was wondering who that was.”
Saturday, December 22nd
“Ohh and I want a bike, a red one, and rollerblades and flashing lights to go on the wheels that spell out my name and…”
“He wants a lot of stuff,” Gee hissed as we listened to Luke write his Christmas list.
“I know, but I’ve already got everything so he’s gonna be majorly disappointed.”
“…and a chainsaw…”
“Why do you want a chainsaw?” I asked, freaked out that he wanted one.
“To chop stuff,” he shrugged like it was an obvious answer.
“Yeah Frankie,” Gee played along. “What else are you supposed to do with a chainsaw?” I shoved him gently as he laughed at my expense.
“…and a snake…”
“Santa isn’t gonna get you a snake,” I said. “He doesn’t do animals.”
“Not surprised with the gut on him…” Gee muttered. It took a few moments for it to sink in.
EW!
“Why not?” Luke asked. “He gave Lucy a puppy last year! Why can’t he give me a snake?”
“Because he doesn’t like reptiles. That’s why he lives at the North Pole, no reptiles there.” Gee gave me an odd look and shook it away pretty fast when I confronted him about it. “You know it’s true!”
“I’m not denying the science of it…”
Monday, December 24th
Last day before Christmas. Thank Christ. Literally. Get two days off then I’m back till New Years Eve, two days off, then I’m back to normal. It’s a weird system but it works.
A woman asked me to do a portrait today, which was terrifying. I’ve never really done them but she trusted me. ME! The guy who fell asleep on a customer!
Obviously I didn’t mention that. Some things are best left unsaid.
The portrait was of her mom who recently died. You can’t say no to that. It’s just too personal. Took hours but I did it. Easily the best thing I’ve ever tattooed. Even Jepha looked impressed and he’s not easy to impress.
Every year me and Gee have a tradition to mark the day we got together. It’s stupid but fun. We go to the roof and yell at the city things about each other. (I leave Luke with a walkie talkie, just in case.)
“Gerard Way likes it when I bite his ear!” I yelled.
“Frank Ie…Way likes it when I make him bleed!”
“Gerard Way likes to be tied up!”
“Frank Way likes it when I spank him!”
“Gerard Way likes it when I make him bark like a dog!”
“Frank Way likes it when I slap the collar on him!”
“I really do actually!”
Tuesday, December 25th
I don’t know if you’ve ever been woken up by a six year old using you as a trampoline but I can tell you it’s not fun.
“Can I open something?” Luke yelled, still bouncing on me. Just me.
Yeah, the door and go back to sleep!
“Not yet, wait until I’m awake.”
Which won’t be for four hours!
Christmas is weird at our place. We have two. One for Luke and one for me and Gee on Boxing Day (cause a lot of your stuff is just plain weird/wrong) while Luke’s at Jamia’s having his second Christmas.
Every time he smiles it makes me happy, it’s a dad thing I know it is. The air is flurry of paper and plastic and it’s all over by 2 which means near peace for the rest of the day. Unless he wants you to install it, or put it together then the air is blue with half swears and we have to break out the band-aids.
Vacuumed plastic is a bitch!
Wednesday, December 26th
Several of our gifts were put to use straight away which kinda meant I was bent over everything I could be bent over. I mean I could have stopped it and switched it around but I didn’t really want to. My thighs are covered in little half moons from Gee’s nails.
They’ll be there for days yet.
Thursday, December 27th
I think word has spread about my portrait tattoo because a guy came in and asked me to do one for him, then another guy asked as well. Obviously spending some Christmas money while the rest of us have to work.
“I think the shop may have a niche,” Jepha said, watching me draw out an eye in detail.
“Portraits? Thanks!”
Friday, December 28th
The shop’s niche is defiantly portraits now. I book appointments all morning and that’s all anyone asked for. News travels fast around here, I found out I could do them as well as I can four days ago! Portraits are good money though cause you have to put more work into them, which means more time in the chair. That’s what you have to pay for anyway. The time and the inks.
Saturday, December 30th
Spent most of the day copying faces from old photos we have. I’m pretty sure for a second Gee thought I was trying to mussel in on his job until he saw that I wasn’t making them any different that the photos.
Practice is practice and considering I have a bunch of portrait appointments set up for next year I’m gonna need it. You have to stay on top otherwise you get dragged down and people over take you. This could be an awesome opportunity for me to make a name for myself, to get more people into the shop.
Sunday, December 31st
From the roof of Brendon’s apartment building you can see everything. We sat up there and waited for the big clock in the city to start counting down. We could hear the people partying in the streets. Isabella was already asleep in Brendon’s arms making it very hard for him and Ryan to hug properly. Jon and Spencer on the other hand were tongue fucking like no one was watching! Ray and Bob were stood with their arms around each other smiling like mad, waiting for the clock to tell them when to kiss. Mikey and Alicia toasted the past year and grinned at each other, whispering things into each other’s ears that made them giggle like little kids. Chloe and Luke were chasing each other around, staying away from the edge like we told them to, hyper on neon pixie sticks. I looked out towards the city, its lights glowing, houses and apartments filled with people like us doing exactly the same thing. Gee rested his head on my shoulder, his arms firmly around my waist. From the rooftop we could hear everyone countdown to the New Year, where everything would be different and nothing like the year before. Their voices rang high into the sky to our ears.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Happy New Year!
Gee spun me round and kissed me before I knew what was going on, his hands spread between my back and my head. Mine instantly went for the back of his belt.
Says a lot really.
So ends another year. Roll on the next.
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Well that's it. Thanks to everyone again for reading =]
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