that was a good one, Bob
I really shouldn't be livejournaling and watching Law and Order right now, but I feel the urge. I can't help myself. I want to tell stories about how crazy and funny and smart I am. But I am not those things. I am silly and a drunkard and pretty damn boring. Seriously. I'm not cute when I drink. I'm beligerent and affectionate and I refuse to wear coats.
I have a little in ASA, and that's just super exciting. I got her the best stuff. We reveal ourselves tuesday night. I think the toying with them, saying "I know who your big is", is my favorite part of pledging. My little is "teh awesome". I heart her. After tuesday I'll be able to say who she is, but for right now I'm playing it safe just in case she get to read this somehow. Not sure how that would happen, but anythings possible on the internet, right?
I'm a little peturbed at Dave Gill who complemented my on my "MCR outfit". Whaaa? Don't get me wrong, I still like them very much, but I never ever saw myself as the kind of person who dresses like a band. I am not 13. Nor amd I retarded. All I was wearing was a new dress I'd picked up with fishnets and my little burgundy shoes. I guess because the dress was a black asian-inspired thing with handcuffs as fasteners that Dave saw MCR. Eugh, whatever. The dress is pretty and I look good in it. I'm just slightly upset, mostly at myself, that I've fallen into some kind of trend. I did it without even knowing, too. Double-you. Tee. Eff.
There's really not much else to report. My tongue is no longer swollen or painful. I talk normally and eat solid foods. Huzzah. Legs, Jess and I want to get sisterhood tattoos before the end of the year, so there's that to look forward to. I love doing things like this.. making myself new, ornamenting myself. My mom was upset when I told her about the tongue. She doesn't understand that my idea of what is pretty and how I look good isn't the same as hers. She did call to apologize the next day, but it was still upsetting. I thought that by now she knew how I am and what I like, but I guess not.
Moving on, spring break approaches, and I'm looking forward to it, but not too much. I'll get to see Josh, but somehow that's not exciting. Maybe because it's still a week away? Angela wants to play Risk and Scrabble with us, and I have 4 doctor appointments, so it's not like I won't have anything to do. It's just that I don't want to drive, and I don't want to go back to Milan where there's even less to do than here, where I can't drink because my parents are convinced it'll make me suicidal, where I'm either alone and lonely or irritated with company. I can't win there. It sucks. I want it to be summer and I want to not live with my parents. I want an apartment with Angela or Josh and to work and have my very own home. I want that so much. I hope I can get a job right after school so I can move out as soon as I'm done. Even if I go to grad school, I hope Josh and I can get a place, and I'll work part-time somewhere while I go to school to help pay for stuff. Just give me somewhere that's mine. I feel displaced, floating, like a nomad. I need a base camp. I need cave to hide in. I need a home. Home isn't home anymore and this place never was.
Poo. I should do some homework, and eat some Girl Scout cookies, because I so need to get fatter.
<3<3<3
I have a little in ASA, and that's just super exciting. I got her the best stuff. We reveal ourselves tuesday night. I think the toying with them, saying "I know who your big is", is my favorite part of pledging. My little is "teh awesome". I heart her. After tuesday I'll be able to say who she is, but for right now I'm playing it safe just in case she get to read this somehow. Not sure how that would happen, but anythings possible on the internet, right?
I'm a little peturbed at Dave Gill who complemented my on my "MCR outfit". Whaaa? Don't get me wrong, I still like them very much, but I never ever saw myself as the kind of person who dresses like a band. I am not 13. Nor amd I retarded. All I was wearing was a new dress I'd picked up with fishnets and my little burgundy shoes. I guess because the dress was a black asian-inspired thing with handcuffs as fasteners that Dave saw MCR. Eugh, whatever. The dress is pretty and I look good in it. I'm just slightly upset, mostly at myself, that I've fallen into some kind of trend. I did it without even knowing, too. Double-you. Tee. Eff.
There's really not much else to report. My tongue is no longer swollen or painful. I talk normally and eat solid foods. Huzzah. Legs, Jess and I want to get sisterhood tattoos before the end of the year, so there's that to look forward to. I love doing things like this.. making myself new, ornamenting myself. My mom was upset when I told her about the tongue. She doesn't understand that my idea of what is pretty and how I look good isn't the same as hers. She did call to apologize the next day, but it was still upsetting. I thought that by now she knew how I am and what I like, but I guess not.
Moving on, spring break approaches, and I'm looking forward to it, but not too much. I'll get to see Josh, but somehow that's not exciting. Maybe because it's still a week away? Angela wants to play Risk and Scrabble with us, and I have 4 doctor appointments, so it's not like I won't have anything to do. It's just that I don't want to drive, and I don't want to go back to Milan where there's even less to do than here, where I can't drink because my parents are convinced it'll make me suicidal, where I'm either alone and lonely or irritated with company. I can't win there. It sucks. I want it to be summer and I want to not live with my parents. I want an apartment with Angela or Josh and to work and have my very own home. I want that so much. I hope I can get a job right after school so I can move out as soon as I'm done. Even if I go to grad school, I hope Josh and I can get a place, and I'll work part-time somewhere while I go to school to help pay for stuff. Just give me somewhere that's mine. I feel displaced, floating, like a nomad. I need a base camp. I need cave to hide in. I need a home. Home isn't home anymore and this place never was.
Poo. I should do some homework, and eat some Girl Scout cookies, because I so need to get fatter.
<3<3<3