this sucks.
so most people told me that work would be overwhelming. WHATEVER. okay, so it is. bleh. i don't feel like i have any free time anymore. i'm very angry today. i'm not sure why. i've been trying to rationalize how i feel, to stop being in such a bad mood, but it's not working. i feel like a lot of this is stemming from work. and it's all going to blow up on wesley, which is horrible. i don't want to be angry, but ..
maybe i should try the buddhist thing where i accept my irrationality. but i'm not buddhist. however, i don't understand it. i'm very ignorant. i choose not to believe a number of religions and theories and mock them, but i don't know what i'm mocking. i don't know what i'm ridiculing. why don't i believe in god? because as a child, i never believed in a higher power. that's only because i didn't see enough of the world. i can always enlighten myself, can't i? the thought of an "omni-benevolent god" seems so far-fetched to me, though. but how else did the universe come into being? science makes as much sense to me as religion does. the only reason i believe in science and not in religion is because i was taught it from grades 1 - 12. i wasn't taught about god. that's the only difference. my faith is flimsy and tenable. is that the word? no, it means exactly the opposite of what i wanted. XD meh.
i want some alone time. i want some time to tcg. i know that's really stupid; tcg is no reality. but what is reality? does this life matter? that's a really stupid question. before i know it, i'm going to start using philosophy as an excuse to skimp out on life.
maybe i should try the buddhist thing where i accept my irrationality. but i'm not buddhist. however, i don't understand it. i'm very ignorant. i choose not to believe a number of religions and theories and mock them, but i don't know what i'm mocking. i don't know what i'm ridiculing. why don't i believe in god? because as a child, i never believed in a higher power. that's only because i didn't see enough of the world. i can always enlighten myself, can't i? the thought of an "omni-benevolent god" seems so far-fetched to me, though. but how else did the universe come into being? science makes as much sense to me as religion does. the only reason i believe in science and not in religion is because i was taught it from grades 1 - 12. i wasn't taught about god. that's the only difference. my faith is flimsy and tenable. is that the word? no, it means exactly the opposite of what i wanted. XD meh.
i want some alone time. i want some time to tcg. i know that's really stupid; tcg is no reality. but what is reality? does this life matter? that's a really stupid question. before i know it, i'm going to start using philosophy as an excuse to skimp out on life.