Feeling Depressed
Life, at the moment, has reached that kind of stage where I've been clinging on by my fingernails and now even that's slipped off. I really can't cope and despite everything, I still find it hard to get over my grandfather's death. Part of me has been wondering whether this is affecting me too much and I'm going on about it too much, but I have been told in no uncertain terms yesterday that just under two months is still recent, so I shouldn't worry about it.
I've also been pretty exhausted and I'm finding it hard to get to sleep. When I do wake up, I find it hard to get myself out of bed and motivated to do anything. I'm showing the symptoms of depression again, and I've been spending most of my time buried in a book or in a computer game trying to shut out the world, because at the moment it's too painful.
I'm not really sure what to do at the moment. I've created a ToDo list, like when I used to feel bad at Oxford and I needed something to focus on. So far it seems to be working. Working my way through the list at least gives me something to do to distract myself from how I'm feeling and it seems to help a lot.
Something else that's happened is that I decided to get more deeply involved in the Islington Sea Cadets. They are in a bad way. My dad has been involved in meetings in the house with various people, many of which I've come to like. I can see the Sea Cadets are in trouble. In fact, I'd say strongly that they are doomed and only they don't know it yet. My dad is still grieving after grandfather, the ex-CO had surgery to increase bloodflow to the legs and the old chair had serious surgery. None of them are in the mood to run the place and yet they are it.
Although the organisation is doomed, there are still a lot of issues, like what to do with the land they have a 100-year lease. There also seem to be a lot of people sniffing around looking for their piece of the cake, which isn't very happy, so at the very least, if the organisation gets wound up, it needs to be done so in a proper manner.
Like with my ToDo list, what needs to be done with the Unit is generally pretty obvious, it just needs action. So that's another thing of literally making a list and going down it one point at a time and seeing what happens.
I've also been pretty exhausted and I'm finding it hard to get to sleep. When I do wake up, I find it hard to get myself out of bed and motivated to do anything. I'm showing the symptoms of depression again, and I've been spending most of my time buried in a book or in a computer game trying to shut out the world, because at the moment it's too painful.
I'm not really sure what to do at the moment. I've created a ToDo list, like when I used to feel bad at Oxford and I needed something to focus on. So far it seems to be working. Working my way through the list at least gives me something to do to distract myself from how I'm feeling and it seems to help a lot.
Something else that's happened is that I decided to get more deeply involved in the Islington Sea Cadets. They are in a bad way. My dad has been involved in meetings in the house with various people, many of which I've come to like. I can see the Sea Cadets are in trouble. In fact, I'd say strongly that they are doomed and only they don't know it yet. My dad is still grieving after grandfather, the ex-CO had surgery to increase bloodflow to the legs and the old chair had serious surgery. None of them are in the mood to run the place and yet they are it.
Although the organisation is doomed, there are still a lot of issues, like what to do with the land they have a 100-year lease. There also seem to be a lot of people sniffing around looking for their piece of the cake, which isn't very happy, so at the very least, if the organisation gets wound up, it needs to be done so in a proper manner.
Like with my ToDo list, what needs to be done with the Unit is generally pretty obvious, it just needs action. So that's another thing of literally making a list and going down it one point at a time and seeing what happens.