General Gender Stuff
In the previous week, I managed to find a way of finally getting the rest I wanted from gender stuff. I think it helped a lot, and I forget that the biggest motivating force for the whole process of transition is reminding myself how much I hated things as they were before. To be reminded of that, sometimes I need to spend some time in that headspace, no matter how unpleasant.
Getting that space gave me some time to reflect, and I noticed that I think that I've been obsessing over gender stuff a little too much. At least, I feel like all the stress that was caused gave me a certain tunnel vision that I've only just escaped, and it's not very good for me. Nor is it fun, I imagine, for other people reading this blog. Part of that tunnel vision seems to be focusing a little too much on myself, and it was nice this week to be a little nicer and help out some other people, which I did mainly by helping my granddad and getting involved back in tidying the house, something I hadn't done for a while. I should also cook more. I haven't cooked in a while now.
I've also got a counselling appointment next week, which should hopefully give me a much needed sense of balance, assuming I get on with the counsellor. I have a certain amount of trepidation about it, but I'm looking forwards to it. Part of my trepidation is that the two previous times I attended counselling were in Oxford and in Birmingham. The Oxford counselling service taught me Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT for short), something the Birmingham lot continued. A comment in my writing class made me realise just how utterly bad CBT is for a transsexual person when they don't know they're transsexual. It's pretty much teaching you to control your own emotions regarding gender and otherwise engage in practises that will, if left unchecked, turn you into a psychopath and deepen OCD. If this counsellor is as good as they say he is, I shouldn't have to worry about that, which is good, but it's nice to know the source of my unease.
Getting that space gave me some time to reflect, and I noticed that I think that I've been obsessing over gender stuff a little too much. At least, I feel like all the stress that was caused gave me a certain tunnel vision that I've only just escaped, and it's not very good for me. Nor is it fun, I imagine, for other people reading this blog. Part of that tunnel vision seems to be focusing a little too much on myself, and it was nice this week to be a little nicer and help out some other people, which I did mainly by helping my granddad and getting involved back in tidying the house, something I hadn't done for a while. I should also cook more. I haven't cooked in a while now.
I've also got a counselling appointment next week, which should hopefully give me a much needed sense of balance, assuming I get on with the counsellor. I have a certain amount of trepidation about it, but I'm looking forwards to it. Part of my trepidation is that the two previous times I attended counselling were in Oxford and in Birmingham. The Oxford counselling service taught me Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT for short), something the Birmingham lot continued. A comment in my writing class made me realise just how utterly bad CBT is for a transsexual person when they don't know they're transsexual. It's pretty much teaching you to control your own emotions regarding gender and otherwise engage in practises that will, if left unchecked, turn you into a psychopath and deepen OCD. If this counsellor is as good as they say he is, I shouldn't have to worry about that, which is good, but it's nice to know the source of my unease.