Don't Be That Guy.

[synecdochic]

I keep thinking about the discussions that have come up in the comments to my post about sex-positivism and performative sexuality and the concept of bystander consent, and I keep thinking about all the subtle little cues and clues I personally use to separate Okay from Skeevy when people approach me. Talking in the comments there made me realize

Comments

[stefficus]

your anger was actually a little bit refreshing in some ways, and you've earned it. in spades. gawd. you DO deserve a cookie for being able to step back from it, accept apologies and explanations, and engage in the discussion. being able to do so is probably a sort of reward in itself, one that you also earned.

what's kinda refreshing about it is that it's so damn familiar to some (most?) of us, albeit from viewpoints along all different levels of the "being on the receiving end of That Guy" spectrum where "That Guy" and "us" can be of any and all genders. we're intending to have a lucid, open discussion, but at base a lot of us are just mad as hell when we forget where we are. having never been raped, i have the luxury of not being as pissed off as you have every right to be. your expressing that touched a chord, i guess. i... had a point to that, one that DIDN'T sound dumb, but it's moved on.

anyway:

go you. kudos on further discussion. deeply, genuinely sorry for your experience. thanks for sticking with us. cathartic, honest anger, yay!

*deep breath* aaaahhhhhh...

[griffen]

I think I understood, even if the point moved on. :) Thank you; I needed badly to hear something like this last night when I got home. It's been a very rough weekend.

[synecdochic]

As a further attempt to mitigate some of that rough-weekendness, let me say that I've been really fucking happy to have this discussion with you, because you're pretty damn awesome.

[griffen]

Aww, you're making me blushy and stuff. :D

[synecdochic]

Own up to your own awesomeness! *g*