Don't Be That Guy.
I keep thinking about the discussions that have come up in the comments to my post about sex-positivism and performative sexuality and the concept of bystander consent, and I keep thinking about all the subtle little cues and clues I personally use to separate Okay from Skeevy when people approach me. Talking in the comments there made me realize
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White privileged is probably the easiest for me to understand- I mean, not understand all the nuances and effects and all that- but I look down at my body, see I am white, and thus am classified accordingly. Even though I might not have some of the privileges on the well-linked to checklist, I know that I will be generalised to have them until otherwise understood. Where I get particularly confused, is when I have no idea what I'm being read as- gender is a big one for me, both offline and online, although online is harder because at least off line I can try to look for the most obvious cues (eg: this person is wearing a dress, they are most likely female; or even *I* am wearing a dress, therefor I will most likely be read as female) but online I don't have that. I do not know to what extent this is a limitation (or blessing in certain situations) of the internet itself, or of my own short comings, due to how I was raised and my autism. As much as I can try to make up for this though, I would like to. I don't think most people (any people?) enjoy extreme conflict/fighting/banning/etc, we want to get along, but we also want to talk about how we relate to things both to better understand the original topic as well as to make others aware of another POV.
I wish I had answers too. People sometimes ask, because I live as both Male and Female, but it seems more accidental... I do not know. I have no answers. and it is frustrating. No one does- or they would have written the book that told us all how to live peacefully and this wouldn't be an issue! People ask about autistic things, and I always must underline when replying, that this is MY experience/reason/etc, and my not be the same as your child/student/etc's.
Anyway, I want to tell you, I have read every single one of the posts here (well, except for the 67 that are in my inbox that I just came home to, but I will read them next!) and this has probably been, since I joined LJ way back in '03, the most educational post I've read and joined in, and I am very happy that so many people have been able to interact from different starting places and remain civil.
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