Hello Livejournal... I'm back
Okay, so I have 10 mins to write something before I have a conference call to attend. I'm working on getting a job because I'm broke.. as usual. I'm trying to get used to it, but it's really stressful having to worry about how I'm going to eat from day to day and how I'm going to pay my rent in May. Yeah I know it's still a couple of months away.. but according to my calculations, I will have $2 to my name at the end of April unless I get a job soon so.....
Other than my financial worries, I tend not to stress too much about life. Although I really should be stressing more about school. I've developed a really lax attitude about due dates and that has got to stop! I had an essay due last Friday that I totally forgot about and the prof said I could turn it in.. yesterday. Well... I started it today. Why am I not more gung-ho about school? I blame it on the strike and losing my momentum.. but is that just an excuse and am I just back into being a lazy ass as per usual?
And then there is Dipesh. I don't know if I should even get started on that topic. Perhaps that is my main stress in life right now. I am so.. flippant sometimes when it comes to this subject. I flip-flop from love to dislike (hate is too strong a word and very fleeting where he is concerned), so often and it makes me wonder sometimes if I'm holding onto him without a definite need. Okay, that sounds weird and vague.. but according to many of my past, and current, educators.. my writing is vague and unsupported :D I just wonder sometimes if I'm holding onto him for reasons other than love. When I think of him, I think of comfort. I tell myself that I will probably never find anyone else who I am as comfortable with as I am with him. Do other people joke around when they are naked together without taking offense to their partner's comments and actions? We both feel comfortable enough with each other to express ourselves very openly, in short we have a deep trust. I don't know if that's something I could find with someone else either. And do I want to?
Well... I gotta go... I hope this conference call turns out to be worth my while and I can make some money soon!!!
Other than my financial worries, I tend not to stress too much about life. Although I really should be stressing more about school. I've developed a really lax attitude about due dates and that has got to stop! I had an essay due last Friday that I totally forgot about and the prof said I could turn it in.. yesterday. Well... I started it today. Why am I not more gung-ho about school? I blame it on the strike and losing my momentum.. but is that just an excuse and am I just back into being a lazy ass as per usual?
And then there is Dipesh. I don't know if I should even get started on that topic. Perhaps that is my main stress in life right now. I am so.. flippant sometimes when it comes to this subject. I flip-flop from love to dislike (hate is too strong a word and very fleeting where he is concerned), so often and it makes me wonder sometimes if I'm holding onto him without a definite need. Okay, that sounds weird and vague.. but according to many of my past, and current, educators.. my writing is vague and unsupported :D I just wonder sometimes if I'm holding onto him for reasons other than love. When I think of him, I think of comfort. I tell myself that I will probably never find anyone else who I am as comfortable with as I am with him. Do other people joke around when they are naked together without taking offense to their partner's comments and actions? We both feel comfortable enough with each other to express ourselves very openly, in short we have a deep trust. I don't know if that's something I could find with someone else either. And do I want to?
Well... I gotta go... I hope this conference call turns out to be worth my while and I can make some money soon!!!