cried tonite....first in a while
well, now i'm being blamed for the whole damn thing, the whole fight...and i'm a complete ring leader of shit slinging, desturbing, throwing....but the only thing i've TRIED to do is clean it all up.
and so now everybody wants to make me feel small...WELL YOU DID IT!! i hope i die or leave real soon, because you all seem to hate me enough to say the things you've been saying, those werent just angry words.(amanda i love you by the way, thanks for still being there for me)
i want to work thing out with them all, and i've decided to be calm and not pay any heed to the things they say to me...they seem to hate me, they really do, but i still want to be friends with them, i've grown attached, and i want them there(i am SO not kissing ass, its true,i'm not lying, name one time during this entire thing that i've lied)
i just want to say i'm really sorry, and if it doesnt sound too arrogent, as rude as you were to me and as little as you all made me feel, i forgive you for anything that was said, trusts that were broken.
i need to forgive and forget, and i'm willing even if your not, and if i didnt respect you guys, i would just drop you and hang out with my other groups of friends...but i DO respect you all...ok, maybe not at the moment completely,(kor, shan?) but thats just anger, and i know that.
Now dont get me wrong, you have broken me down, made me cry, and all sorts, but id your under the impression that this is all my fault, then i'm guilty for the same to others(but the thought of it really breaks my heart)and you made me feel it, and that pissed me off,
Kor, i dont know what will EVER justify you telling others about my secret, even if you do believe i'm in debt to you and your family, or that i did cause this fight to get this bad, it still doesnt make it right what you did. i really trusted you, and you broke that trust. i'm willing to forgive you, and i profusley apologise for calling you an asshole, or anything else i did to offend you in any way.
Shan, i told brit about our little talk because i cared, and she knew you better than anybody, so i figured when you were ready to confide in your friends, she could be there for you and know what to do, also you needed to be treated with respect, so i figured that she should know to be there as a shoulder to cry on, even if she didnt know the actual reason...
i'm really really sorry, but i'm also hurt, and battered by the things you said to me, i'm going to bed now, 'night
kyle
and so now everybody wants to make me feel small...WELL YOU DID IT!! i hope i die or leave real soon, because you all seem to hate me enough to say the things you've been saying, those werent just angry words.(amanda i love you by the way, thanks for still being there for me)
i want to work thing out with them all, and i've decided to be calm and not pay any heed to the things they say to me...they seem to hate me, they really do, but i still want to be friends with them, i've grown attached, and i want them there(i am SO not kissing ass, its true,i'm not lying, name one time during this entire thing that i've lied)
i just want to say i'm really sorry, and if it doesnt sound too arrogent, as rude as you were to me and as little as you all made me feel, i forgive you for anything that was said, trusts that were broken.
i need to forgive and forget, and i'm willing even if your not, and if i didnt respect you guys, i would just drop you and hang out with my other groups of friends...but i DO respect you all...ok, maybe not at the moment completely,(kor, shan?) but thats just anger, and i know that.
Now dont get me wrong, you have broken me down, made me cry, and all sorts, but id your under the impression that this is all my fault, then i'm guilty for the same to others(but the thought of it really breaks my heart)and you made me feel it, and that pissed me off,
Kor, i dont know what will EVER justify you telling others about my secret, even if you do believe i'm in debt to you and your family, or that i did cause this fight to get this bad, it still doesnt make it right what you did. i really trusted you, and you broke that trust. i'm willing to forgive you, and i profusley apologise for calling you an asshole, or anything else i did to offend you in any way.
Shan, i told brit about our little talk because i cared, and she knew you better than anybody, so i figured when you were ready to confide in your friends, she could be there for you and know what to do, also you needed to be treated with respect, so i figured that she should know to be there as a shoulder to cry on, even if she didnt know the actual reason...
i'm really really sorry, but i'm also hurt, and battered by the things you said to me, i'm going to bed now, 'night
kyle