FIC: Put my faith in something unknown (Clint/Coulson, NC-17)
And here's a story. Finally. It's not what I really had in mind when I started writing it and I know it needs to be checked over, but honestly, I just want to post a story finally. It's been too long. Maybe now it'll be easier to write and post after I get this block of nothing down.
Warnings: light bondage, trust issues
Notes: Written for the "gags" square for kinkbingo, "taking care of somebody" square for hc_bingo, "understanding" square for avengers_tables and prompt #56: trust for lover100
Summary: It's not something they do often. In just over a year and a half they've been together it happened only six times. The seventh time starts as all the others, with Phil on his doorstep, face carefully blank and body tight in a way that Clint dreaded and loved in equal measures.
It's not something they do often. In just over a year and a half they've been together it happened only six times. The seventh time starts as all the others, with Phil on his doorstep, face carefully blank and body tight in a way that Clint dreaded and loved in equal measures.
They are completely quiet as Clint closes the door behind Phil, something that is instinct by now because Clint has no desire to ever hear Phil beg for what he needs. He undresses Phil efficiently and without any stalling, carefully setting Phil's clothes over the nearest chair, something that is allowed without a word because Phil is already desperate enough he's shaking all over and it would take him too long to do it himself. When he's done Clint leaves Phil to settle on the bed while he goes to grab the ties from their box in the closet.
Three of them, all Phil's and the first one makes the perfect gag once he ties a knot in the middle. He can see Phil relaxing a fraction as he slips it on and ties it in the back. The second one goes around Phil's wrists, hands through the noose and the tails hanging down over Phil's ass and between his thighs. It's not meant to keep him bound but to be a reminder not to move. Phil could get out of it in a second if he wanted. The third one goes over Phil's eyes and the shaking stops.
Clint checks that nothing is too tight and then gets off the bed while Phil settles down to sit on his heels and just breathes. Clint can see the layers of tension slowly slipping away. Not enough but it's a start.
Clint doesn't want to think about what Phil did to get rid of this pent up tension before they got together; if there was someone else or if he had a different method of dealing with it. Phil never said anything and Clint can wait until he's ready to share. He's blown away by the level of trust placed in him every time they do this.
Clint strips out of his sweatpants and t-shirt, drops them to the floor and just watches Phil. There is a precise moment in which he is allowed to come back to the bed and touch without being knocked out.
When the nod comes Clint kneels behind Phil, giving him a moment before touching him, palm flat on the back of Phil's neck, sliding down firmly, following the curve of his spine to his bound hands then continues with both his palms up Phil's arms to shoulders. He presses himself against Phil's back and he's not trying to hide he's hard because he's turned on in equal measures by the fact that Phil is naked and bound in front of him and the level of trust, but he's not in a hurry to do anything about it. So he slides his palms over Phil's chest and stomach and Phil starts shaking again. Clint presses a wet kiss to the side of his neck and continues touching the inside of Phil's thighs, knees, the outside of his thighs, back to the stomach and then he just wraps himself around Phil and holds on.
This is the hardest part, just staying still and holding on and keeping his mouth shut. Phil is not hard, it's not about that just yet, there's too much tension in his body, but most of all in his mind. And then Phil starts talking. The words are all jumbled because of the gag, which is why it's there in the first place. Phil needs to get shit of his mind and he needs to talk and he needs someone to listen but he doesn't want to be understood. And he chose Clint. So Clint just holds him close, face pressed to the side of Phil's neck and he listens.
He doesn't check the clock. From past experiences it can last a couple minutes or an hour, depending on just how tightly wound Phil is, but Clint is the best at staying still, so he waits him out. When there's a minute of uninterrupted silence Clint asks "Okay?" and gets a nod in return. He waits another minute and then Phil presses back against Clint and suddenly, the slow, easily dismissed burn of arousal is anything but and Clint moans low in his throat, hips stuttering against Phil's ass and hands and Jesus, he needs to be inside him.
He doesn't take any of the ties off, just grabs for the lube and coats his fingers, moving to prepare Phil, open him up. At the first touch of Clint's fingers Phil moans and starts talking again, broken words that Clint has no way of translating. He starts with two fingers, Phil doesn't want anything slow or gentle when he's like this and Clint no longer has the patience. They've been sleeping together long enough to know each others boundaries and Clint knows that when Phil starts pushing back it's time to add the third finger and when Phil slips out of the tie binding his hands to get on all fours it's time to stop wasting time and get inside him. He's pushes and doesn't stop until he's all the way in and then he has to because Phil is tight and the sounds he's making are almost enough to make Clint come.
The rhythm Clint sets is punishing, hard and unrelenting and has Phil clutching at the headboard, moaning and babbling into the gag and pushing back and he's so fucking gorgeous Clint can barely find the presence of mind to slip a still slick hand to Phil's dick and jerk him off. When Phil comes it's with a sound that is desperate and relieved and Clint follows closely behind, nearly blacking out from just how good it feels.
They manage to lie down on their sides and away from the wet spot and then they just lie there, Clint still inside Phil and holding on for dear life. In a minute he'll get up and untie Phil, get him a glass of water and clean him up before helping him climb in under the covers. They'll sleep and in the morning Phil will be smiling and teasing and most likely fuck Clint into the mattress before going into the office. For now, Clint just holds on and breathes him in
.
Warnings: light bondage, trust issues
Notes: Written for the "gags" square for kinkbingo, "taking care of somebody" square for hc_bingo, "understanding" square for avengers_tables and prompt #56: trust for lover100
Summary: It's not something they do often. In just over a year and a half they've been together it happened only six times. The seventh time starts as all the others, with Phil on his doorstep, face carefully blank and body tight in a way that Clint dreaded and loved in equal measures.
It's not something they do often. In just over a year and a half they've been together it happened only six times. The seventh time starts as all the others, with Phil on his doorstep, face carefully blank and body tight in a way that Clint dreaded and loved in equal measures.
They are completely quiet as Clint closes the door behind Phil, something that is instinct by now because Clint has no desire to ever hear Phil beg for what he needs. He undresses Phil efficiently and without any stalling, carefully setting Phil's clothes over the nearest chair, something that is allowed without a word because Phil is already desperate enough he's shaking all over and it would take him too long to do it himself. When he's done Clint leaves Phil to settle on the bed while he goes to grab the ties from their box in the closet.
Three of them, all Phil's and the first one makes the perfect gag once he ties a knot in the middle. He can see Phil relaxing a fraction as he slips it on and ties it in the back. The second one goes around Phil's wrists, hands through the noose and the tails hanging down over Phil's ass and between his thighs. It's not meant to keep him bound but to be a reminder not to move. Phil could get out of it in a second if he wanted. The third one goes over Phil's eyes and the shaking stops.
Clint checks that nothing is too tight and then gets off the bed while Phil settles down to sit on his heels and just breathes. Clint can see the layers of tension slowly slipping away. Not enough but it's a start.
Clint doesn't want to think about what Phil did to get rid of this pent up tension before they got together; if there was someone else or if he had a different method of dealing with it. Phil never said anything and Clint can wait until he's ready to share. He's blown away by the level of trust placed in him every time they do this.
Clint strips out of his sweatpants and t-shirt, drops them to the floor and just watches Phil. There is a precise moment in which he is allowed to come back to the bed and touch without being knocked out.
When the nod comes Clint kneels behind Phil, giving him a moment before touching him, palm flat on the back of Phil's neck, sliding down firmly, following the curve of his spine to his bound hands then continues with both his palms up Phil's arms to shoulders. He presses himself against Phil's back and he's not trying to hide he's hard because he's turned on in equal measures by the fact that Phil is naked and bound in front of him and the level of trust, but he's not in a hurry to do anything about it. So he slides his palms over Phil's chest and stomach and Phil starts shaking again. Clint presses a wet kiss to the side of his neck and continues touching the inside of Phil's thighs, knees, the outside of his thighs, back to the stomach and then he just wraps himself around Phil and holds on.
This is the hardest part, just staying still and holding on and keeping his mouth shut. Phil is not hard, it's not about that just yet, there's too much tension in his body, but most of all in his mind. And then Phil starts talking. The words are all jumbled because of the gag, which is why it's there in the first place. Phil needs to get shit of his mind and he needs to talk and he needs someone to listen but he doesn't want to be understood. And he chose Clint. So Clint just holds him close, face pressed to the side of Phil's neck and he listens.
He doesn't check the clock. From past experiences it can last a couple minutes or an hour, depending on just how tightly wound Phil is, but Clint is the best at staying still, so he waits him out. When there's a minute of uninterrupted silence Clint asks "Okay?" and gets a nod in return. He waits another minute and then Phil presses back against Clint and suddenly, the slow, easily dismissed burn of arousal is anything but and Clint moans low in his throat, hips stuttering against Phil's ass and hands and Jesus, he needs to be inside him.
He doesn't take any of the ties off, just grabs for the lube and coats his fingers, moving to prepare Phil, open him up. At the first touch of Clint's fingers Phil moans and starts talking again, broken words that Clint has no way of translating. He starts with two fingers, Phil doesn't want anything slow or gentle when he's like this and Clint no longer has the patience. They've been sleeping together long enough to know each others boundaries and Clint knows that when Phil starts pushing back it's time to add the third finger and when Phil slips out of the tie binding his hands to get on all fours it's time to stop wasting time and get inside him. He's pushes and doesn't stop until he's all the way in and then he has to because Phil is tight and the sounds he's making are almost enough to make Clint come.
The rhythm Clint sets is punishing, hard and unrelenting and has Phil clutching at the headboard, moaning and babbling into the gag and pushing back and he's so fucking gorgeous Clint can barely find the presence of mind to slip a still slick hand to Phil's dick and jerk him off. When Phil comes it's with a sound that is desperate and relieved and Clint follows closely behind, nearly blacking out from just how good it feels.
They manage to lie down on their sides and away from the wet spot and then they just lie there, Clint still inside Phil and holding on for dear life. In a minute he'll get up and untie Phil, get him a glass of water and clean him up before helping him climb in under the covers. They'll sleep and in the morning Phil will be smiling and teasing and most likely fuck Clint into the mattress before going into the office. For now, Clint just holds on and breathes him in
.