Herp Derp
Tonight I learned how long it takes to do a disease assessment on a diagnosis as vague as "stroke". The answer is "About two hours, if you leave out the minutiae and finer points." Blargl. Also, my med-surg book is ridiculous because is does not have CVA (cerebrovascular accident) in the index. At all. It's the medical standard term for stroke and it's not in the index. IDEK.
I'm going to go pound on my creative writing assignment. I wrote what I'm guessing to be about half of it out by longhand while sitting outside the other day. Sadly, I did it from the entirely wrong POV and it's much to passive to be interesting so I must rewrite it. Thankfully this time I'm typing and I think I can salvage most of the images and even some of the paragraphs.
I want a hamburger more than anything in the world right now. I would sell a vital organ for one, I think. Specifically an A1 Steakhouse Burger from Burger King (but only because there isn't a Culvers within about 400 miles or a Five Guys within 12). Alas. I think it's leftover chicken parm for me, which is about as appetizing as eating aforementioned vital organ. :\
I'm struggling with a lot of crazy euphoria and absolutely black depression lately. It changes 2, 3, 4 times a day (much like the news on KYW 1060). It makes no sense that I have no confidence in myself as a student nurse but that I know the class/lab/seminar material backwards and forwards. Anxiety plus a lack of self-esteem, I guess. Clinicals are a struggle, even after two days on site. In the classroom I'm giddy with knowledge and the connections I'm making between the material and the actual process of nursing. I'm even, dare I say, a leader. I don't understand my brain. Or rather, I can't cope with it so well. I just want to not feel so anxious and fearful, and no matter how I talk logically to myself I still dread clinical days. I'm hoping things will change when we move to the rehab unit in 3 weeks. It might make a difference to have patients that are AAOx3 and who are capable of at least some self care. Maybe I'm just struggling with the responsibility of being ... not sole care provider because I certainly have help from my classmates, the instructor and the CNAs... The responsibility of having to provide SO MUCH for these people because they literally cannot provide for themselves. Then again, I've had an aphasic non-ambulatory client for the last two weeks. Next week's resident speaks, comprehends and walks with assistance so hopefully it will be different.
Argh, I didn't want to get bogged down in nursing stuff but clearly it is the most pressing thing on my mind and the source of most of my elation and stress right now.
Tomorrow I'm going to the last Union home game of the season with Jeff. It should be off the hook. The opposing team (NY Red Bulls) has sold out their supporter section so it should be intense.
By Thursday I need to learn (or at least try to learn) 'Rejoice Greatly, O Daughter of Zion' from Handel's Messiah in order to try out for a solo spot in the winter concert. It's just not going to happen. I don't have the chops for it, frankly. Maybe if I had a voice teacher and was 5-8 years younger. Maybe. But the bottom line is that it's just not what my voice is best suited to. There's some recitative solo stuff he handed out as well though, so I'm going to give that a shot. I'd love to do the big showy piece but if it's not good Andrew will never let me on stage with it. Bleah. Realising your limitations is occasionally depressing.
Also, I've been trying and trying to get Formspring to work for me and it absolutely won't let me sign up. So instead, I'll just ask what few LJers are left out there:
ASK ME ANYTHING
Seriously. Anything. I'll answer it. I'm bored and slightly narcissistic. My personality disorder is your shot at voyeurism!
Booga.
I'm going to go pound on my creative writing assignment. I wrote what I'm guessing to be about half of it out by longhand while sitting outside the other day. Sadly, I did it from the entirely wrong POV and it's much to passive to be interesting so I must rewrite it. Thankfully this time I'm typing and I think I can salvage most of the images and even some of the paragraphs.
I want a hamburger more than anything in the world right now. I would sell a vital organ for one, I think. Specifically an A1 Steakhouse Burger from Burger King (but only because there isn't a Culvers within about 400 miles or a Five Guys within 12). Alas. I think it's leftover chicken parm for me, which is about as appetizing as eating aforementioned vital organ. :\
I'm struggling with a lot of crazy euphoria and absolutely black depression lately. It changes 2, 3, 4 times a day (much like the news on KYW 1060). It makes no sense that I have no confidence in myself as a student nurse but that I know the class/lab/seminar material backwards and forwards. Anxiety plus a lack of self-esteem, I guess. Clinicals are a struggle, even after two days on site. In the classroom I'm giddy with knowledge and the connections I'm making between the material and the actual process of nursing. I'm even, dare I say, a leader. I don't understand my brain. Or rather, I can't cope with it so well. I just want to not feel so anxious and fearful, and no matter how I talk logically to myself I still dread clinical days. I'm hoping things will change when we move to the rehab unit in 3 weeks. It might make a difference to have patients that are AAOx3 and who are capable of at least some self care. Maybe I'm just struggling with the responsibility of being ... not sole care provider because I certainly have help from my classmates, the instructor and the CNAs... The responsibility of having to provide SO MUCH for these people because they literally cannot provide for themselves. Then again, I've had an aphasic non-ambulatory client for the last two weeks. Next week's resident speaks, comprehends and walks with assistance so hopefully it will be different.
Argh, I didn't want to get bogged down in nursing stuff but clearly it is the most pressing thing on my mind and the source of most of my elation and stress right now.
Tomorrow I'm going to the last Union home game of the season with Jeff. It should be off the hook. The opposing team (NY Red Bulls) has sold out their supporter section so it should be intense.
By Thursday I need to learn (or at least try to learn) 'Rejoice Greatly, O Daughter of Zion' from Handel's Messiah in order to try out for a solo spot in the winter concert. It's just not going to happen. I don't have the chops for it, frankly. Maybe if I had a voice teacher and was 5-8 years younger. Maybe. But the bottom line is that it's just not what my voice is best suited to. There's some recitative solo stuff he handed out as well though, so I'm going to give that a shot. I'd love to do the big showy piece but if it's not good Andrew will never let me on stage with it. Bleah. Realising your limitations is occasionally depressing.
Also, I've been trying and trying to get Formspring to work for me and it absolutely won't let me sign up. So instead, I'll just ask what few LJers are left out there:
ASK ME ANYTHING
Seriously. Anything. I'll answer it. I'm bored and slightly narcissistic. My personality disorder is your shot at voyeurism!
Booga.