.at ease.

[syncere]

all day and night yesterday i was going thru it. even though i have so many other, more important things going down in my life, i can't seem to stop thinking about Deshaun. God knows i love that boy but i guess we can't always have what we want. he broke my heart more than once but i always gave him the benefit of things and moved past them with him. i guess he couldn't be like me though because when things got ruff he ran into the arms of somebody else. i can't dwell on this but God knows i'm hurting like hell. anyway.. i was downloading every Sharissa song i could find on Kazaa and i came across this one that puts me at ease when listening to it. it reminds me so much of Deshaun. here's a verse and the chorus that has 'me and him' written all over it.

it seems like i'm always mad at you, and it's always something you did or didn't do. and i'm always tellin you that you could leave but since you decided to walk out things just don't feel right to me. everybody wants the perfect love, but i'll take you and all your imperfections. your love is like nothen, and sometimes i don't know what to do. you got issues but i'ma miss you. all i'm sayen is i got alot of love for you.

that song hits home for various reasons. when Deshaun and i were still, whatever you want to call it. we fought alot but regardless of everything i would of taken him with no regret. boo if you're reading this just remember i'll always love you and everything i said i did mean regardless if you meant what you said or not.