Survival Instinct: Low

[synabetic]

I had a wonderful conversation with some female stranger (with a very irritating, raised in a Camero demeanor) in a park recently... part of it went like this:

Her: 'So, your son's name is... Jake?'
Me: 'Drake. With a D-R.'
Her: 'Drake? *scoffs* Who would name their kid that?'
Me: 'Ninjas.'
Her: 'Excuse me?'
Me: 'My wife and I named him, of course.'
Her: 'Well, I don't know... It's kind of... wer-'
Me: 'You are going into uncomfortable territory here. Careful.' *trademarked winning smile*
Her: 'You know he'll get picked on for his name.'
Me: 'Why? Whatever for?'
Her: 'Well, it's weird... fruity or something!'
Me: 'Really. Okay, what's your first name?'
Her: What's yours?'
Me: 'Steven. With a V. But that's not my point... please, just humour me.'
Her: 'Deborah.'
Me: 'A nice normal name right?'
Her: 'Yeah.'
Me: 'You go by Debbie?'
Her: 'Yeah. Yeah, I do.'
Me: 'Well, first off, it's nice to meet you Debbie.'
Her: 'Uh, ok...'
Me: 'Secondly, so your name is Debbie... like in Debbie does Dallas?'
Her: 'WHAT?'
Me: 'You know. The porno. Debbie Does Dallas. Everyone knows of it. Apparantly you do, too.'
Her: 'Fuck you, you fuckin' asshole.'
Me: 'No need to be rude... again. And please, don't swear in front of the children. Now, go away and have a good day.'
*another winning smile as the irritating woman walks away*
Bystanding Mother: 'Nice job.'

That's almost word for word.

I love the people around here sometimes.

Have I mentioned THE VORPAL GNOME today?
Well there you go.