Liberation....
carnal fucks,
not love, not lust,
has driven you away.
and here i sit,
to revel in it,
the lie my love did say.
and dirty you sweat,
out out that stench,
that permiates your soul.
you're lost and lone and cold.
so
run
run
run away,
for with yourself,
you darent stay,
for your flaw is ever present:
but i too would run from stink.
..........................................
It is now the 4th of September, and I am having MAJOR problems updating my page. It keep going back to my entry "My brother the Sag". So I had to go to Calendar to see these were in my LJ, and then I went to edit most recent. I am so mad. i dont want to write.
Dustin is talking shit about me that is untrue to everyone, and Im just so FUCKING PISSED I COULD BREAK HIS FACE!
Yeah right.
In retrospect, a brief synopse of the week before last:
Its sad when you find yourself afraid of the man you love. When you know he would hit you. Im so angry...I want to get him back! Im pissed that he scared me, Im sad that hes running, I wish he could deal, I wish he wasnt looking for another fuck to bury 6.5 (not 9) inches of guilt,lies and denial into. ( Its not like I remember 2 months ago.... and there wasnt a clue that something was wrong?)And whoah....the "C" word....what self-respecting woman puts HERSELF in the situation that makes THAT ok?!?!?!?
I hate myself for it. But I hate him even more. I hate him about as much as I love him....hmmmmmm.Oh what a joyous feeling. And I wonder why I feel manic?
not love, not lust,
has driven you away.
and here i sit,
to revel in it,
the lie my love did say.
and dirty you sweat,
out out that stench,
that permiates your soul.
you're lost and lone and cold.
so
run
run
run away,
for with yourself,
you darent stay,
for your flaw is ever present:
but i too would run from stink.
..........................................
It is now the 4th of September, and I am having MAJOR problems updating my page. It keep going back to my entry "My brother the Sag". So I had to go to Calendar to see these were in my LJ, and then I went to edit most recent. I am so mad. i dont want to write.
Dustin is talking shit about me that is untrue to everyone, and Im just so FUCKING PISSED I COULD BREAK HIS FACE!
Yeah right.
In retrospect, a brief synopse of the week before last:
Its sad when you find yourself afraid of the man you love. When you know he would hit you. Im so angry...I want to get him back! Im pissed that he scared me, Im sad that hes running, I wish he could deal, I wish he wasnt looking for another fuck to bury 6.5 (not 9) inches of guilt,lies and denial into. ( Its not like I remember 2 months ago.... and there wasnt a clue that something was wrong?)And whoah....the "C" word....what self-respecting woman puts HERSELF in the situation that makes THAT ok?!?!?!?
I hate myself for it. But I hate him even more. I hate him about as much as I love him....hmmmmmm.Oh what a joyous feeling. And I wonder why I feel manic?