2 weeks
Shit, I haven't updated in almost two weeks. I have Shamed the LJ gods!
I have spent so much time at Candice's these last few weeks, it's ridiculous. Day after day, I go to her house come home for school then come back then come home for school and so on and so on.
This week I am just staying all week. I came Sunday night and am going to be here until probably friday morning before I have to go and help my dad move into his new house in Dayton.
I am practically living here, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I love it here, it just feels more right than home at this time. Actually it has always felt more right than home here. Every second spent with Candice is a joy, I get along with her better than anyone I have ever known. I love her. She is so precious to me, I don't know what I'd do without her, her and her family. Hunny, you still haven't asked me what was on my mind the other day when I took your mom and you to Carson when I was acting weird.
Over the past few weeks I met a girl and we have been doing things together, as you already know Candice. Her name is Monique. We meet regularly on weekends and pretty much get it on... It's been alright, it was good the first time, but the last time we did it I was just thinking, "I am done with this, I can't do this anymore." I just don't think I want this, it feels wrong. I just want to stop this whole thing. It is kind of immature and I feel dirty because of it. I don't even like the girl, she's just a "piece of ass" to me, which is a new way of thinking for me. this is not a good way of thinking, I think. I know Candice's family is all for it for some odd reason, but Candice isn't, it seems. I don't want to disappoint her in any way, I feel I already have in that respect. I have already sort of lied to her about an aspect of this whole situation, which is why I have decided to stop. I lied about why I slept over there the other night... really bad reason too, I am a horrible liar, which is why I don't lie and quite often come out and tell the truth to a person's face. I am too honest in some people's eyes. I mean Candice was the first person I told about this whole Monique situation, besides Mitsuyo. I was just afraid of what else she would do if I told her the truth right then and there. I am going to block Monique's screen name and cell phone # and lost her phone #'s. I don't know how else to do it without the girl chewing me out about not wanting anything anymore. I don't want to be pushed away from someone I love by someone I am just in like of having sex with.
I just can't stop thinking about Candice when I am away from her. That all I think about anymore. I miss her when I am gone for just a few hours to work. I truly love Candice, I never thought I could say that about a person so soon in my life, but Candice's holds a firm place in my heart. I just feel better when I am around her. I don't even want to go home anymore, I just want to live here. I don't want to go home anymore, I don't want to go anywhere unless Candice is there with me. I feel that I need her and that she is essential in my life right now. I love my Candice.
Also, Candice is going through a hard time right now, and I feel that my being here helps her to calm down a little. Her anxiety was through the roof a few days ago and has since calmed down quite significantly. I feel I am sort of her anxiety control, she'll only break and take a shower if I tell her she should go shower. She is controlling it herself now, I am proud of her, she is handling this well.
Her mom told her that her anxiety was due to Patrick. Because, I was there in the room her mom said she didn't want to say anything, but she think's her anxiety is because of the me and the Monique situation. I don't know what to think, but it doesn't matter anymore because the Monique thing is over. I didn't stop the situation on a whim due to that rationalization, it was just more of a self realization that I should do this. Though I was told by Candice herself that it was fine that I went ahead and did that, but to make sure that i wash thoroughly before coming over here again. I just didn't want to risk anything. I didn't want Candice to actually be hurt because of it and not show it. I just want everything to be like it is right now, I want to come over and not have to talk about having sex with some girl, for it to just be a good time without any hindrances.
Candice is apparently going to move out within the next few months, and she still wants me to live with her. I found that out when she said, "Ya, I can get a two bedroom apartment and you'll live in the other room". That makes me happy. That would really be a test, for her, and I. Living together, which we are practically doing right now, I don't think it'll be too different besides paying bills and rent and stuff. We'll see how it goes when it happens, I am excited.
I am taking Candice to see LotR:Return of the King next week. I am really excited.
Then we can go rent the game and play it, finally.
I am going to have a surprise for her when the time comes. hahaha. Now she is going to be on my ass wondering what it is. It's a surprise love, hehehe. I love doing that; building up anticipation to the day it happens.
I can't wait until Christmas, this'll be my most giving christmas. Last Christmas I bought Mitsuyo an 80 dollar jacket and she hated me for about a day for it and then built a bridge and then got over it. I just like to show my love for people, and presents are a good way of doing that, among others. 'Tis the season for giving. I love Christmas. evidence of this is in the movie Rudolph the Red-nose Reindeer. I am the little blond elf with the fascination for dentistry. I am the spitting image of the clay... animated character... Dennis. Don't ask, hehe.
I am done for tonight, goodnight.
I have spent so much time at Candice's these last few weeks, it's ridiculous. Day after day, I go to her house come home for school then come back then come home for school and so on and so on.
This week I am just staying all week. I came Sunday night and am going to be here until probably friday morning before I have to go and help my dad move into his new house in Dayton.
I am practically living here, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I love it here, it just feels more right than home at this time. Actually it has always felt more right than home here. Every second spent with Candice is a joy, I get along with her better than anyone I have ever known. I love her. She is so precious to me, I don't know what I'd do without her, her and her family. Hunny, you still haven't asked me what was on my mind the other day when I took your mom and you to Carson when I was acting weird.
Over the past few weeks I met a girl and we have been doing things together, as you already know Candice. Her name is Monique. We meet regularly on weekends and pretty much get it on... It's been alright, it was good the first time, but the last time we did it I was just thinking, "I am done with this, I can't do this anymore." I just don't think I want this, it feels wrong. I just want to stop this whole thing. It is kind of immature and I feel dirty because of it. I don't even like the girl, she's just a "piece of ass" to me, which is a new way of thinking for me. this is not a good way of thinking, I think. I know Candice's family is all for it for some odd reason, but Candice isn't, it seems. I don't want to disappoint her in any way, I feel I already have in that respect. I have already sort of lied to her about an aspect of this whole situation, which is why I have decided to stop. I lied about why I slept over there the other night... really bad reason too, I am a horrible liar, which is why I don't lie and quite often come out and tell the truth to a person's face. I am too honest in some people's eyes. I mean Candice was the first person I told about this whole Monique situation, besides Mitsuyo. I was just afraid of what else she would do if I told her the truth right then and there. I am going to block Monique's screen name and cell phone # and lost her phone #'s. I don't know how else to do it without the girl chewing me out about not wanting anything anymore. I don't want to be pushed away from someone I love by someone I am just in like of having sex with.
I just can't stop thinking about Candice when I am away from her. That all I think about anymore. I miss her when I am gone for just a few hours to work. I truly love Candice, I never thought I could say that about a person so soon in my life, but Candice's holds a firm place in my heart. I just feel better when I am around her. I don't even want to go home anymore, I just want to live here. I don't want to go home anymore, I don't want to go anywhere unless Candice is there with me. I feel that I need her and that she is essential in my life right now. I love my Candice.
Also, Candice is going through a hard time right now, and I feel that my being here helps her to calm down a little. Her anxiety was through the roof a few days ago and has since calmed down quite significantly. I feel I am sort of her anxiety control, she'll only break and take a shower if I tell her she should go shower. She is controlling it herself now, I am proud of her, she is handling this well.
Her mom told her that her anxiety was due to Patrick. Because, I was there in the room her mom said she didn't want to say anything, but she think's her anxiety is because of the me and the Monique situation. I don't know what to think, but it doesn't matter anymore because the Monique thing is over. I didn't stop the situation on a whim due to that rationalization, it was just more of a self realization that I should do this. Though I was told by Candice herself that it was fine that I went ahead and did that, but to make sure that i wash thoroughly before coming over here again. I just didn't want to risk anything. I didn't want Candice to actually be hurt because of it and not show it. I just want everything to be like it is right now, I want to come over and not have to talk about having sex with some girl, for it to just be a good time without any hindrances.
Candice is apparently going to move out within the next few months, and she still wants me to live with her. I found that out when she said, "Ya, I can get a two bedroom apartment and you'll live in the other room". That makes me happy. That would really be a test, for her, and I. Living together, which we are practically doing right now, I don't think it'll be too different besides paying bills and rent and stuff. We'll see how it goes when it happens, I am excited.
I am taking Candice to see LotR:Return of the King next week. I am really excited.
Then we can go rent the game and play it, finally.
I am going to have a surprise for her when the time comes. hahaha. Now she is going to be on my ass wondering what it is. It's a surprise love, hehehe. I love doing that; building up anticipation to the day it happens.
I can't wait until Christmas, this'll be my most giving christmas. Last Christmas I bought Mitsuyo an 80 dollar jacket and she hated me for about a day for it and then built a bridge and then got over it. I just like to show my love for people, and presents are a good way of doing that, among others. 'Tis the season for giving. I love Christmas. evidence of this is in the movie Rudolph the Red-nose Reindeer. I am the little blond elf with the fascination for dentistry. I am the spitting image of the clay... animated character... Dennis. Don't ask, hehe.
I am done for tonight, goodnight.