2011 In Review
I think 2011 can be summed up by what's happening as I'm trying to type this - my one year old is climbing my legs, trying to eat stuff off the floor, putting said floor food into the garbage, pulling over the appliances, choking on the too-much stuff he's stuffed in his mouth, whining to be picked up, and trying to get into the compost. It's been a good year. Maternity leave was brilliant. I got to spend the whole of it with Kate, and we explored domestic things that neither of us had had much inclination for previously. We made bread, we learned how to make bread, and then we made really good bread. We sewed things, like quilts and shirts and birthday banners and little ornament birds and Christmas bags and skirts. We learned how to grow food in our backyards, and on the roof, and failed spectacularly at some of it. We compared mama-notes and reminded each other what a gift it is to bear children, even on those days when no sleep had been won the night before; even when not a single word of thanks or appreciation would be ours to cherish. We became much closer friends - much better confidantes - and I'm so overwhelmed with gratitude for her and this past year I'm going to take a break from this to call her (because she moved away two weeks ago, and broke my heart.)
Damien and I continue in married bliss - having grown far more comfortable with this relationship and each other, we've moved deeper into partnership, especially as parents doing our best to raise the boys well. I still sometimes feel like this is a big fat dream and there's no way I ended up with someone as healthy and mature and gorgeous and considerate and kind and thoughtful and generous as Damien, but he's there every morning in my bed when I wake up, so it must be true.
Joshua has had a year of surprises. I've seen a glimpse of his emerging brilliance and compassion (for reals, not even my biased mother's eyes could disguise those traits), but I've also seen that he can be enormously manipulative, deceptive and contrary. Those undesirable discoveries have also revealed a disturbing trait in me - a temper that blows over the top and a tongue that lashes out with venom. I'm so ashamed as I think back on the ways I've handled Josh's obstinacy, and so this year has also been a year of education for me - both by virtue of making mistakes, and through podcast after podcast, book after book, by parenting experts and psychologists. I want so badly for someone to show me how to do this right. I'm discouraged thus far.
I'm looking forward to 2012. There may be some big changes coming that excite and terrify me, but that will have to wait for a 2012 year end review.
Here's hoping that everyone (and by everyone, I mean anyone left who still reads LiveJournal) has had a beautiful year, and if not, then my great wish is for a beautiful 2012.
Damien and I continue in married bliss - having grown far more comfortable with this relationship and each other, we've moved deeper into partnership, especially as parents doing our best to raise the boys well. I still sometimes feel like this is a big fat dream and there's no way I ended up with someone as healthy and mature and gorgeous and considerate and kind and thoughtful and generous as Damien, but he's there every morning in my bed when I wake up, so it must be true.
Joshua has had a year of surprises. I've seen a glimpse of his emerging brilliance and compassion (for reals, not even my biased mother's eyes could disguise those traits), but I've also seen that he can be enormously manipulative, deceptive and contrary. Those undesirable discoveries have also revealed a disturbing trait in me - a temper that blows over the top and a tongue that lashes out with venom. I'm so ashamed as I think back on the ways I've handled Josh's obstinacy, and so this year has also been a year of education for me - both by virtue of making mistakes, and through podcast after podcast, book after book, by parenting experts and psychologists. I want so badly for someone to show me how to do this right. I'm discouraged thus far.
I'm looking forward to 2012. There may be some big changes coming that excite and terrify me, but that will have to wait for a 2012 year end review.
Here's hoping that everyone (and by everyone, I mean anyone left who still reads LiveJournal) has had a beautiful year, and if not, then my great wish is for a beautiful 2012.