Can't you see the wall you've built for me? 'Cos we're not special.
It feels like for the first time, I just don't care. I mean, I do care. About certain things. But when it comes to this, I just don't really give a shit either way. Well, not true. I care. But whatever decisions you make, my feelings nor opinions won't matter, correct? I'm not even bitter as I'm writing this. This is the logical part of me, insisting that all of this is right.
I'll be happy with anything I get, really. I'm tired of hating everything and everyone for the simple fact that I can't have something I want, or I can't be a certain way. Things are just so much easier when you don't care about things you can't change. Anger and jealousy are fading quickly, this is an accomplishment for me. I'm making a conscious effort to stop being hypocritical, stop being bitter, stop being resentful. What good does it do, honestly? Everyone has their moments, but I'm getting over it. I'm ready to change. Because it's obvious, there's something wrong with the way I am.
And I've totally accepted this. Or, I've atleast tricked myself into accepting it.
End entry.