Names
Summary: If only the Earl had never learned Jasdero and Devit's names.
Prompt: 026. Secret
Disclaimer: The D. Gray-man series and characters don't belong to me.
Tiki sat at the dining room table reading the Obituaries page to see if it listed any of his work. He was sounding out an oddly spelled name when Jasdero and Devit came running in and dove under the table. Tiki felt them crawl past his legs. “Twins? What did you do this time?” he asked.
Devit’s muffled voice came from the end of the table farthest from the door. “We have names, hobo.”
“We’re Jasdevi! But you should shut up, loser.” Jasdero laughed nervously.
“Guess what? I have a name too,” said Tiki.
“Okay, Tiki D. Mick, could you shut your trap and pretend we aren’t here for about ten minutes?” said Devit.
“‘D?’ What’s the ‘D’ for?”
“It’s for your middle name, dumbass.”
“‘X!’” suggested Jasdero.
“Tiki X. Mick,” said Devit.
Tiki folded the newspaper, hiding many names with mysterious initials of their own. “I don’t have a middle name.”
“Ha! Nice try,” replied Devit. “You just don’t want us to know what it is.”
“What? Why would I care if you knew my middle name?” Tiki asked. The boys under the table seemed to have forgotten they wanted silence, so Tiki spoke at a conversational level.
“’Cause names have power!” said Jasdero as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
“'Cause then we could blackmail you,” Devit said cheerfully.
Tiki smiled, bemused. “The fact remains that I don’t have one.”
“He kept it secret, the clever bastard!” A boot prodded Tiki’s leg.
In the distance, a pounding noise was audible. Jasdero shushed his twin.
Tiki said, “You know, I’ve never-”
“Shhhh!”
More quietly, Tiki said, “You know, I’ve never learned your last name.”
There was a silence.
“We don’t have one,” said Devit.
“Really,” said Tiki.
“Yeah. We-we didn’t have a real family except each other, and we don’t need a name to tell us we’re related,” said Devit.
“Hee! Together we’re Jasdevi!”
“I know.” Tiki opened his newspaper. Sebastian L. Cutter, death by rabid wolverines? Had that been Tiki's kill? He couldn’t recall disposing of any bodies in a wolverine-infested area, but then he’d been drunk a lot during the past week.
“Tiki A. Mick? Tiki Z. Mick?” Devit spoke quietly. Tiki ignored him.
“Tiki A.Z. Mick?” guessed Jasdero.
The pounding noise resumed, and it sounded closer this time. The twins began whispering frantically to each other, but Tiki only caught “He’s pissed!” and “What if-?” Jasdero and Devit fell silent.
The sconces on the wall rattled.
“Hey, Tiki,” said Devit.
“What?” replied Tiki, beginning to look forward to whatever happened when the Earl found the twins.
“Remember that ashtray in the sitting room that you haven’t cleaned out for months even though the Earl told you to?”
“Yeah?” The Earl had insisted that Tiki take responsibility for his habits, but Tiki kept forgetting to order a servant to clean it up.
“We dumped it out in your shoes.”
“When did… oh!” said Jasdero.
“What!?” said Tiki. He took a deep breath. “You’re picking a poor time to tell me this. I can hear the Earl coming down the hall."
“Dero set your bow ties on fire too,” said Jasdero.
Tiki jumped up. “What!? Is that why the Earl’s after you?”
“Shhhh!”
“Couldn’t you have set a fire somewhere else, brats? I’ll deal with you myself later…” Tiki ran out of the dining room. The Earl was at the far end of the hall, running with slow, pounding steps. Tiki jerked a thumb towards the dining room door, then headed in the other direction.
The twins huddled under the table with their guns pressed to each other’s temples. The twins felt the table shaking from the Earl’s approaching footsteps.
“At least Tiki’s gone,” said Devit in a low voice.
“Hee! Yeah!”
“Did you really set his ties on fire?”
“No, heehee! But Dero did cut up one of Tiki’s shirts ‘cause he needed blue cloth,” said Jasdero.
“Close enough.”
They saw the Earl’s feet as he came through the door. Jasdero leaned over until his head was close to the carpet. The Earl tried to bend over, but soon gave up. He walked to the corner of the table where the twins were hiding. As he lifted the corner of the massive table with one hand, they crawled out the other side and sprang to their feet. The Earl was, as always, grinning, but he was also quivering with rage. He dropped the table with a bang that made Jasdero and Devit jump.
The Earl produced a top hat. It had a pattern of circles that was barely discernible now that the hat had been riddled with bullet holes.
“This,” said the Earl, “was my very favorite hat, that I purchased only last week.”
“J-Jasdevi are real sorry!” said Jasdero, shifting from foot to foot.
“Uh, in our defense, it was covered in target symbols,” said Devit. He edged towards the door.
The Earl swiveled his head towards Devit. “Devit H. Smith!”
Jasdero wailed, and his gun dropped to the floor as he pressed his hands to his ears. Devit froze.
“You know how I feel about the destruction of property,” the Earl said, advancing on them.
Jasdero removed his hands from his ears. “What’d he say?”
“After he said my… my name?” asked Devit, shuddering.
The Earl loomed over them. “I said, you know how I feel about the destruction of property,” he said, his teeth glinting.
“Hee! You feel the same way about it as you do about diets?” answered Jasdero, and bolted for the door.
The Earl struck quickly and grabbed Jasdero’s collar. “Jasdero P. Smith!”
As Jasdero started to cry, Devit fervently wished that the Earl had never learned their last names.
But it could have been worse-he could also have learned their middle names.
Prompt: 026. Secret
Disclaimer: The D. Gray-man series and characters don't belong to me.
Tiki sat at the dining room table reading the Obituaries page to see if it listed any of his work. He was sounding out an oddly spelled name when Jasdero and Devit came running in and dove under the table. Tiki felt them crawl past his legs. “Twins? What did you do this time?” he asked.
Devit’s muffled voice came from the end of the table farthest from the door. “We have names, hobo.”
“We’re Jasdevi! But you should shut up, loser.” Jasdero laughed nervously.
“Guess what? I have a name too,” said Tiki.
“Okay, Tiki D. Mick, could you shut your trap and pretend we aren’t here for about ten minutes?” said Devit.
“‘D?’ What’s the ‘D’ for?”
“It’s for your middle name, dumbass.”
“‘X!’” suggested Jasdero.
“Tiki X. Mick,” said Devit.
Tiki folded the newspaper, hiding many names with mysterious initials of their own. “I don’t have a middle name.”
“Ha! Nice try,” replied Devit. “You just don’t want us to know what it is.”
“What? Why would I care if you knew my middle name?” Tiki asked. The boys under the table seemed to have forgotten they wanted silence, so Tiki spoke at a conversational level.
“’Cause names have power!” said Jasdero as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
“'Cause then we could blackmail you,” Devit said cheerfully.
Tiki smiled, bemused. “The fact remains that I don’t have one.”
“He kept it secret, the clever bastard!” A boot prodded Tiki’s leg.
In the distance, a pounding noise was audible. Jasdero shushed his twin.
Tiki said, “You know, I’ve never-”
“Shhhh!”
More quietly, Tiki said, “You know, I’ve never learned your last name.”
There was a silence.
“We don’t have one,” said Devit.
“Really,” said Tiki.
“Yeah. We-we didn’t have a real family except each other, and we don’t need a name to tell us we’re related,” said Devit.
“Hee! Together we’re Jasdevi!”
“I know.” Tiki opened his newspaper. Sebastian L. Cutter, death by rabid wolverines? Had that been Tiki's kill? He couldn’t recall disposing of any bodies in a wolverine-infested area, but then he’d been drunk a lot during the past week.
“Tiki A. Mick? Tiki Z. Mick?” Devit spoke quietly. Tiki ignored him.
“Tiki A.Z. Mick?” guessed Jasdero.
The pounding noise resumed, and it sounded closer this time. The twins began whispering frantically to each other, but Tiki only caught “He’s pissed!” and “What if-?” Jasdero and Devit fell silent.
The sconces on the wall rattled.
“Hey, Tiki,” said Devit.
“What?” replied Tiki, beginning to look forward to whatever happened when the Earl found the twins.
“Remember that ashtray in the sitting room that you haven’t cleaned out for months even though the Earl told you to?”
“Yeah?” The Earl had insisted that Tiki take responsibility for his habits, but Tiki kept forgetting to order a servant to clean it up.
“We dumped it out in your shoes.”
“When did… oh!” said Jasdero.
“What!?” said Tiki. He took a deep breath. “You’re picking a poor time to tell me this. I can hear the Earl coming down the hall."
“Dero set your bow ties on fire too,” said Jasdero.
Tiki jumped up. “What!? Is that why the Earl’s after you?”
“Shhhh!”
“Couldn’t you have set a fire somewhere else, brats? I’ll deal with you myself later…” Tiki ran out of the dining room. The Earl was at the far end of the hall, running with slow, pounding steps. Tiki jerked a thumb towards the dining room door, then headed in the other direction.
The twins huddled under the table with their guns pressed to each other’s temples. The twins felt the table shaking from the Earl’s approaching footsteps.
“At least Tiki’s gone,” said Devit in a low voice.
“Hee! Yeah!”
“Did you really set his ties on fire?”
“No, heehee! But Dero did cut up one of Tiki’s shirts ‘cause he needed blue cloth,” said Jasdero.
“Close enough.”
They saw the Earl’s feet as he came through the door. Jasdero leaned over until his head was close to the carpet. The Earl tried to bend over, but soon gave up. He walked to the corner of the table where the twins were hiding. As he lifted the corner of the massive table with one hand, they crawled out the other side and sprang to their feet. The Earl was, as always, grinning, but he was also quivering with rage. He dropped the table with a bang that made Jasdero and Devit jump.
The Earl produced a top hat. It had a pattern of circles that was barely discernible now that the hat had been riddled with bullet holes.
“This,” said the Earl, “was my very favorite hat, that I purchased only last week.”
“J-Jasdevi are real sorry!” said Jasdero, shifting from foot to foot.
“Uh, in our defense, it was covered in target symbols,” said Devit. He edged towards the door.
The Earl swiveled his head towards Devit. “Devit H. Smith!”
Jasdero wailed, and his gun dropped to the floor as he pressed his hands to his ears. Devit froze.
“You know how I feel about the destruction of property,” the Earl said, advancing on them.
Jasdero removed his hands from his ears. “What’d he say?”
“After he said my… my name?” asked Devit, shuddering.
The Earl loomed over them. “I said, you know how I feel about the destruction of property,” he said, his teeth glinting.
“Hee! You feel the same way about it as you do about diets?” answered Jasdero, and bolted for the door.
The Earl struck quickly and grabbed Jasdero’s collar. “Jasdero P. Smith!”
As Jasdero started to cry, Devit fervently wished that the Earl had never learned their last names.
But it could have been worse-he could also have learned their middle names.