Jul 16, 2006 05:17
[04AM:55:44] Jerko: I just got back from a party.
[04AM:55:47] Jerko: You should have seen it man.
[04AM:55:49] Jerko: Old man fight.
[04AM:55:55] RonTBCordova: 2 of my nuts on each old man's chin
[04AM:55:59] Jerko: Haha.
[04AM:56:10] Jerko: This guy comes up, out of nowhere, while we're in my buddy's garage playing bass and skating.
[04AM:56:13] Jerko: And he's like.
[04AM:56:22] Jerko: Hey, keep it the fuck down, people are trying to sleep you little shits!
[04AM:56:33] RonTBCordova: did you fuck him up then dabble them on his chin
[04AM:56:51] Jerko: And my buddy who owns the place is like. "Man, you don't neeed to get hostile, dude, we're just out here chilling and having a good time. You don't need to be a prick."
[04AM:56:58] Jerko: And he's like.
[04AM:57:05] Jerko: "Well I'm fucking telling you to keep it down!"
[04AM:57:07] Jerko: And then he leaves.
[04AM:57:14] Jerko: Soon as he gets halfway across the street I kickflip.
[04AM:57:16] Jerko: BAM!
[04AM:57:30] Jerko: He turns around and gives me the sourest look, then starts walking back toward his place again.
[04AM:57:43] RonTBCordova: what a fag who skateboards
[04AM:57:53] Jerko: So.
[04AM:57:58] RonTBCordova: speaking of skateboards
[04AM:57:59] Jerko: Shut it, this is a good story. =P
[04AM:58:04] Jerko: So.
[04AM:58:05] RonTBCordova: some kid comes into my store
[04AM:58:09] Jerko: I continue skateboarding.
[04AM:58:10] RonTBCordova: like every day
[04AM:58:27] Jerko: He comes back two minutes later because we're making fun of him in the garage really loudly.
[04AM:58:32] RonTBCordova: and he has that littlle... you know when people's mothers drink while pregnant and then they dont have that little ridge under your nose
[04AM:58:38] Jerko: LOL
[04AM:58:47] RonTBCordova: you know that ridge you're supposed to ahve but if your mom drinks while pregnant its missing
[04AM:59:00] RonTBCordova: you might not be familiar its not like i can say go look in the mirror in your case
[04AM:59:02] RonTBCordova: HEYO
[04AM:59:04] RonTBCordova: but anyway
[04AM:59:16] RonTBCordova: this little shit comes in every day and asks if i skateboard
[04AM:59:19] Jerko: I don't have to. That picture you sent me gives me a rough idea.
[04AM:59:21] Jerko: Ooooh.
[04AM:59:57] RonTBCordova: and he's like 10 and I tell him "no i still don't skateboard"
[05AM:00:11] RonTBCordova: speaking of my store the shit storm continues!
[05AM:00:12] RonTBCordova: OMFG
[05AM:00:16] Jerko: Dude.
[05AM:00:37] RonTBCordova: gas maintanence is outsourced to some company other than our own that's why we have to call outside the company for it
[05AM:00:41] RonTBCordova: and apparently
[05AM:00:43] RonTBCordova: those little shits
[05AM:00:48] RonTBCordova: who never showed up to fix the pumps
[05AM:01:22] RonTBCordova: said -I- told -THEM- not to come down because it was late (this was at fucking 6 the store closes at 12) and they could do it in the morning
[05AM:02:20] RonTBCordova: so im sleeping today the phone wakes me up its the area manager pissing on my cheek through the phone and i'm like "WHAT THE FUCK DUDE I DIDNT SAY THAT. HE SAID 'we're busy we might not be able to get to your store' I TOLD HIS BITCH ASS 'that's not my problem fix my pumps'"
[05AM:02:49] RonTBCordova: so we cleared shit up and this isn't the first time they've pulled this shit
[05AM:03:04] Jerko: Nice.
[05AM:03:05] Jerko: Anyway.
[05AM:03:07] Jerko: Old man fight.
[05AM:03:22] Jerko: So this guy comes back, and tells me he's going to smash my skateboard over my head.
[05AM:03:27] Jerko: Which is funny, because I'm the smallest guy there.
[05AM:03:30] RonTBCordova: good plan skateboards are gay
[05AM:03:35] RonTBCordova: lol smallest in the pants maybe
[05AM:03:38] Jerko: So he picks the smallest guy and starts picking on him.
[05AM:03:42] Jerko: So I'm like.
[05AM:03:44] Jerko: OH, HELLS NO.
[05AM:04:10] RonTBCordova: dude is he a mystical old guy or just senile and slow
[05AM:04:11] Jerko: I'm like. "You're going to come over here, and threaten ME?! Yeah, you're a big fucking guy, what are you like, twice my size and age? Go fuck yourself. Get the fuck out of here."
[05AM:04:17] Jerko: He was like, 40.
[05AM:04:18] RonTBCordova: cause if he's mystical dont fuck with it
[05AM:04:19] Jerko: 45.
[05AM:04:27] Jerko: So he pisses off again.
[05AM:04:28] RonTBCordova: he would know how to kick your ass with his pinky then
[05AM:04:35] Jerko: Comes back a minute later with his wife.
[05AM:04:40] Jerko: Who is like.
[05AM:04:42] RonTBCordova: is his wife bigger than him
[05AM:04:44] Jerko: "I called the cops."
[05AM:04:58] Jerko: And we're like. "Good, we can tell them your husband threatened our friend here."
[05AM:05:04] Jerko: So we swear at each other.
[05AM:05:22] RonTBCordova: you should have been like "FATTY FAT WIFE ARENT OLD MEN SUPPOSED TO MARRY HOT GIRLS WHO LIKE MONEY OH WAIT YOU ARE A CANADIAN OLD MAN SO YOU ARE A FAILURE"
[05AM:05:39] Jerko: And then the guy gets up in my buddy's face, and is like. "What? What are you going to do."
[05AM:05:42] Jerko: And my buddy's like."
[05AM:05:53] Jerko: "I don't know, but you need a breathmint, 'cause that shit stiiiiinks."
[05AM:06:07] Jerko: So we finally get the asshole to leave again.
[05AM:06:11] RonTBCordova: yo teeth is yellow and yo breath is bad so best back up off my grill before you wish you had
[05AM:06:31] Jerko: But when he starts walking, my buddy Remy is like "Yeah, get the fuck out of here you fucking goof."
[05AM:06:35] Jerko: And the guy thought he called him a Jew.
[05AM:06:37] RonTBCordova: LOL @ GOOF
[05AM:06:38] RonTBCordova: AND JEW
[05AM:06:40] Jerko: So he turns around and is like.
[05AM:06:42] RonTBCordova: THIS STORY RULES A LOT MORE
[05AM:06:47] Jerko: WHO FUCKING SAID THAT?!?! SAY IT TO MY FACE!
[05AM:06:49] RonTBCordova: HES LIKE "I AINT NO FUCKIN KITE"
[05AM:07:01] Jerko: So Remy is like FINE YOU FUCKING GOOF!
[05AM:07:16] RonTBCordova: GOOF
[05AM:07:18] RonTBCordova: WHO SAYS THAT
[05AM:07:21] Jerko: Then my budde derjeet (Yeah, he's brown, so what) steps in, and starts scrapping the guy on my buddy's front lawn.
[05AM:07:26] Jerko: LOL
[05AM:07:29] RonTBCordova: LOL @ DERJEET = BROWN
[05AM:07:38] Jerko: And it's hilarious.
[05AM:07:48] Jerko: Because he called the cops on us. Then came over and assaulted my friend. =P
[05AM:07:58] RonTBCordova: did he knock the old man down and crouch over him and slap the old guys face with his dong
[05AM:08:01] Jerko: So we were all talking about having someone punch me in the face, and rip my shirt.
[05AM:08:06] RonTBCordova: and you all just stand around like O.O
[05AM:08:08] RonTBCordova: "its true"
[05AM:08:15] Jerko: And have me lay in the garage and pretend to be unconcious.
[05AM:08:31] RonTBCordova: dude this story rules but mostly just cause of goof and derjeet
[05AM:08:32] Jerko: So when the cops came, I could be like. "The big bad man hit me! Boohooohooooooo!"
[05AM:08:43] Jerko: 'Cause I'm only 115 pounds. =P
[05AM:09:00] Jerko: But the cops never came because he was a pussy.
[05AM:09:02] RonTBCordova: wow are you like 5' even jesus christ dont ever go to jail
[05AM:09:28] Jerko: I'm 5'4" =P
[05AM:09:42] RonTBCordova: good god dont ever go to jail unless you like that gaping feeling
[05AM:09:52] Jerko: Haha.
[05AM:09:58] RonTBCordova: dont even give me that "but IM WIRY" shit
[05AM:10:28] Jerko: Dude, I work labour. =P I'm proportionatly strong for my size.
[05AM:10:34] Jerko: But everyone is still stronger than me.
[05AM:10:35] RonTBCordova: seriously go back
[05AM:10:41] RonTBCordova: here let me highlight the story for you
[05AM:10:52] RonTBCordova: GOOF!
[05AM:07:16] RonTBCordova: GOOF
[05AM:07:18] RonTBCordova: WHO SAYS THAT
[05AM:07:21] Jerko: Then my budde derjeet (Yeah, he's brown, so what)
[05AM:11:12] RonTBCordova: i seriously am laughing mostly at that
[05AM:11:24] RonTBCordova: the story was thrilling but derjeet + goof was the best part
[05AM:11:37] Jerko: I know. =P
[05AM:11:55] RonTBCordova: seriously welcome to the annals of immortality aka my LJ where all the best aim convos go
[05AM:12:07] RonTBCordova: you want your sn published or replaced with "jerko"
[05AM:12:15] Jerko: Assface would be better.
[05AM:12:24] RonTBCordova: that wasn't a choice
[05AM:12:29] RonTBCordova: (name) or jerko
[05AM:12:45] JERKENSASS: Come up with something more unflattering than Jerko.
[05AM:12:46] JERKENSASS: Come on.
[05AM:12:52] JERKENSASS: You're a creative guy.
[05AM:12:57] JERKENSASS: You can come up with some better shit than that.
[05AM:13:06] RonTBCordova: what shit you sir are a jerk!
[05AM:13:15] JERKENSASS: LOL
[05AM:13:21] JERKENSASS: I'm not a jerk.
[05AM:13:27] JERKENSASS: I just hate when people are assholes for no reason.
[05AM:13:34] JERKENSASS: And threaten me because they think I won't do anything about it. =P
[05AM:13:37] RonTBCordova: like that old GOOF
[05AM:13:38] JERKENSASS: Honestly, there were five guys there.
[05AM:13:43] JERKENSASS: And he picked me.
[05AM:13:52] JERKENSASS: Who is half the size of anyone else in the garage. =P
[05AM:14:11] RonTBCordova: seems like you got..
[05AM:14:12] RonTBCordova: uh
[05AM:14:15] RonTBCordova: oh shit what's it called
[05AM:16:05] JERKENSASS: Dunno whatchyew talking 'bout.
[05AM:16:12] RonTBCordova: fuck
[05AM:16:17] RonTBCordova: i hate you i cant remember now
[05AM:16:46] RonTBCordova: the thing where you're little and sensitive about it but all tough guy to cover up even though real men rip your asshole open all day
[05AM:17:13] JERKENSASS: I'm not sensitive about it. =P
[05AM:17:19] RonTBCordova: YOU ARE TINY ADMIT IT
[05AM:17:21] JERKENSASS: I just hate when guys are tough shit to me. I mean.
[05AM:17:24] JERKENSASS: Anyone can kick my ass.
[05AM:17:29] JERKENSASS: Takes a big man to step up to me. =P
[05AM:17:32] RonTBCordova: SAY IT
[05AM:17:38] RonTBCordova: SAY "I AM THE TINY MAN"
[05AM:17:41] RonTBCordova: PLEASE
[05AM:17:45] JERKENSASS: I'm tiny.
[05AM:17:47] JERKENSASS: Duh.
[05AM:17:51] RonTBCordova: SAY IT RIGHT
[05AM:17:57] JERKENSASS: LOL
[05AM:17:59] JERKENSASS: Fuck you.
[05AM:18:01] RonTBCordova: PLEASE :(
[05AM:18:10] JERKENSASS: You're not as fun when you beg.
[05AM:18:17] RonTBCordova: ugh fuck my phone it keeps beeping and telling me battery low
[05AM:18:25] RonTBCordova: i wanna throw it and yell "YOU GET LOW WHEN I TELL YOU"
[05AM:18:33] RonTBCordova: and the charger is like right over there
[05AM:18:35] RonTBCordova: but i'm right here
[05AM:18:40] JERKENSASS: Haha.