Perils of high-density housing

[sylvia_rachel]

SP is asleep in our bed at present. She emerged from her own room an hour or so ago, clutching her stuffed penguin in his hand-knitted neck warmer, her hedgehog puppet, and Grandpa's special fleece blanket, to complain that she couldn't get to sleep because the baby next door was crying. Our neighbours on that side are "teaching" their one-year-old

Comments

[anonymous]

I'm sorry SP couldn't sleep. :( I'm sad the other wee one can't either. I always thought that even advocates of CIO didn't suggest more than 5-10 minutes of crying? As you know we don't do CIO either (neither of us could bear the thought) but I can cope with the *idea* of someone doing 5 mInutes of *fussing* with their baby (not that I did that either ...) ... But letting a baby cry long enough and loud enough for it to wake the neighbours seems ... Off. :(

-- j

[pernwebgoddess]

Not to mention, that's not how true CIO is done. It's recommended that you let them cry no more than 5 or 10 minutes... if they cry longer than that, something else is wrong. They need something. Even if it's just reassurance that you haven't abandoned them.

I know what it's like to have a baby who refuses to sleep, but that's just being inconsiderate... not just to the BABY, but the neighbors!

[sylvia_rachel]

hey need something. Even if it's just reassurance that you haven't abandoned them.

QFT. There seems to be a tendency in certain circles to ignore or deny this possibility, as though babies have no possible needs beyond the physical: "If you know she's not hungry and doesn't need a diaper change, just let her cry!" :(

I too know all about having a baby who refuses to sleep. OMG do I. I find this situation kind of ironic, therefore...

[kiwano]

But now that she's too big to fit into the bed with us, our 5-year-old occasionally fusses for much longer than 5 minutes when we insist that she has to sleep in her own bed. In fact, on Friday night, she must've gone on for a good 20 minutes before deciding to save face by asking for her bed to be made slightly differently. I mean it was almost long enough for me to get my GST return half-finished..

[sylvia_rachel]

You have that kid too, huh? :P

[kiwano]

Yep; sometimes she looks an awful lot like that picture you use as your avatar (well still a bit younger and all)...

[pernwebgoddess]

WEll, at 5, she can damn well soothe herself to sleep. LOL. That's what I keep telling mine, anyway. I think it sounds better than "you need to go to bed before mommy kills you."

[kiwano]

It's funny how before parenting, I never appreciated the way that bedtime stories can be such an effective bribe to get all washed up before bed. Now if only I could come up with a suitable bribe for accepting that enough stories have been told, and it's time to go to sleep (though at least the days of having to make this point after more than half a dozen stories seem to be behind me).

[sylvia_rachel]

Yeah.

Now, I should mention that SP -- having never actually lived with a baby -- is perhaps unusually sensitive to crying babies; she feels their distress keenly and wants someone to comfort them RIGHT NOW. But, yeah, she didn't pop out of her room after a couple of minutes; she'd been in there a while, listening to the baby cry and cry.

I am assured by people who have actually read Ferber's Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems that, indeed, his actual recommendations are considerably less draconian than what one hears about a lot of parents doing. Short increments, comforting at intervals, etc. -- not just shutting the door and striding briskly away. What I suspect our neighbours have got hold of is something really awful like Babywise. They seem like very nice people, but I've had experiences before with very nice people who want nothing but the best for their kids and have been convinced by someone they think knows better that some really brutal form of CIO is NECESSARY for their baby's well-being :(