Just a quick "Funny That" thought
So yeah, funny that. Drama lamma has come into the pen again. Most of you will not know what is going on and that's fine, but I am posting this for me. And I am posting this for anyone who has the gumption to walk away.
If I am a knight in shining armor anymore, it is tarnished armor at that. And I will spend the rest of my life trying to polish it up. I did not hide what I did. I made a mistake. I owned up to it to the people I see everyday. My partner on the road knows. People who I've made friends since then know. I don't hide who I am, but I will not let a mistake rule the rest of my life. If I did, how would I ever overcome the crippling mistake of Rob or Kenny or pissing away college or anything.
I made the mistake of opening up and wishing for something else rather than talking to the person I was sitting across the table from. My bad. I know that's sugar coated and light, but it's a year and a half later. Almost two years. WTF am I supposed to say? So now all these things will come out and they are "been there, done that". I don't care. It doesn't matter, and it changes nothing.
The game is still being played. No contact? Nevermind that facebook message you sent me last week that I deleted. The email with sound clips after the dust had settled and you *so* didn't ever want to speak to me ever. No I still havent listened to it and I never will. It's deleted now. Hope that didn't mean anything. You post in her LJ constantly and have been on my feeds.
Yeah. I admit it. I schemed. I played. I thought I had it all under control and for being the technoweenie and computer dork that I am, forgot to shut down my computer when I left for a quick errand and turn off logs on my AIM. It was for the best and shit happens the way it does for a reason.
I made a mistake and I learned. Shit gets better. Talk about it instead of squirreling it away and conspiring. I got fed up with some shit, but then I realized that it's my own fault for never opening my big yap. We weren't talking, and that's where we go wrong.
Life is better. Life will not get worse no matter how much you twist and contort your words so that your friends pet you and make you feel vindicated.
You're the better person. You *save lives*. I'm just gonna take my fat fuck beaner ass down the road and make a delivery.
I could care less at this point. You will lie, cheat, whatever to make your current circle of friends believe what you want them to believe. *you* will believe what you want to believe.
I know what happened.
I know what I did.
I don't have to tell anything but the truth.
If I am a knight in shining armor anymore, it is tarnished armor at that. And I will spend the rest of my life trying to polish it up. I did not hide what I did. I made a mistake. I owned up to it to the people I see everyday. My partner on the road knows. People who I've made friends since then know. I don't hide who I am, but I will not let a mistake rule the rest of my life. If I did, how would I ever overcome the crippling mistake of Rob or Kenny or pissing away college or anything.
I made the mistake of opening up and wishing for something else rather than talking to the person I was sitting across the table from. My bad. I know that's sugar coated and light, but it's a year and a half later. Almost two years. WTF am I supposed to say? So now all these things will come out and they are "been there, done that". I don't care. It doesn't matter, and it changes nothing.
The game is still being played. No contact? Nevermind that facebook message you sent me last week that I deleted. The email with sound clips after the dust had settled and you *so* didn't ever want to speak to me ever. No I still havent listened to it and I never will. It's deleted now. Hope that didn't mean anything. You post in her LJ constantly and have been on my feeds.
Yeah. I admit it. I schemed. I played. I thought I had it all under control and for being the technoweenie and computer dork that I am, forgot to shut down my computer when I left for a quick errand and turn off logs on my AIM. It was for the best and shit happens the way it does for a reason.
I made a mistake and I learned. Shit gets better. Talk about it instead of squirreling it away and conspiring. I got fed up with some shit, but then I realized that it's my own fault for never opening my big yap. We weren't talking, and that's where we go wrong.
Life is better. Life will not get worse no matter how much you twist and contort your words so that your friends pet you and make you feel vindicated.
You're the better person. You *save lives*. I'm just gonna take my fat fuck beaner ass down the road and make a delivery.
I could care less at this point. You will lie, cheat, whatever to make your current circle of friends believe what you want them to believe. *you* will believe what you want to believe.
I know what happened.
I know what I did.
I don't have to tell anything but the truth.