156 Silent conversation
Word Soap: As The World Keeps Turning
Author: SYLnl
Title: #156 Silent conversation
Rating: PG
Summary: “My words like silent raindrops fell and echoed in the wells of silence.” - Paul Simon
Big Thanks To: ltklo, for brushing up my grammar
Previously on As The World Keeps Turning: click here for chapters 1 - 155
“Are you awake?”
The soft whisper out of the speaker made Luke and Reid look up at the same time and after a quick grin to each other, they huddled together to watch the little monitor next to the couch.
They could see Zoë come up a little and nod at Danny. Was she smiling? The screen was too small to really tell.
“Are you okay?”
The way Zoë pressed her old teddy bear against her chest was telling.
“Are you scared?”
She nodded.
“Of me?” Both fathers cringed a little at the insecurity in Danny’s tone, but smiled when Zoë shook her head.
“Of our daddies?”
Without noticing, Luke had grabbed Reid’s hand and when Zoë shrugged, he squeezed so hard it hurt.
“Hey,” Reid pulled away his hand and placed it on Luke’s back, pulling his partner close.
Completely out of character, Luke didn’t even apologize. All his focus was on the little screen and this interaction between their kids.
“I understand,” Danny said softly. “When I first came here, I didn’t trust them either.”
That statement obviously surprised Zoë and she was clearly all ears, so Danny continued.
“I was in a bad place, you know. Before I came here, I mean. Those people…” Danny shook his head, “they were mean. They hurt me. So when I was brought here…I kinda expected the same. They were nice when other people were around, but I was sure they would get mean. That always happened.”
Danny shrugged and Zoë looked worried.
“But they were never mean, Zoë. This is a good home,” Danny softly tapped her on her leg. “You’re safe.”
Zoë shaking her head shook them all and then she put her hand on her mouth. Harshly. Like someone grabbed her. It made Danny flinch.
“Somebody hurt you?”
Zoë nodded.
“And he’s still out there?”
She nodded again, pulling her bear very close.
“Don’t worry, he can’t come here. I’ll ask Daddy Reid to show you the system. He showed me, because I was scared too. Nobody can come into the house. There are little…” Danny obviously forgot what they were called, “…things all around the house. If someone climbs the gate, men with big muscles will come and catch him.”
Danny tapped Zoë’s leg again.
“So you can go to sleep. You’re safe.”
Zoë didn’t look completely convinced, but she did nod and laid down again.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Danny said, as he moved off the bed and waved at his new sister. “Goodnight Zoë.”
The girl waved back at him and Luke and Reid could hear Danny walk to his own room.
“He’s so special,” Reid’s voice was filled with emotion and Luke snuggled even closer, letting his face lean against Reid’s neck.
“He is,” he agreed. “And apparently Zoë is more scared then we knew.”
“Yep.” Reid leaned back into the couch, his hand on his neck. “Her not talking isn’t helping.”
“Her not able to write yet isn’t helping either,” Luke made a wry face.
Reid was softly caressing Luke’s back, watching his blond still looking at the screen. Were they in over their heads? He was about to say something, when their attention was drawn by a soft but telling sound. Zoë was crying.
“Now what?” Luke bit his lip.
“What do you mean, now what?” Reid frowned. “Let’s go up there.”
“You go…there’s a connection between you two…”
“What’s going on?” Reid softly grabbed Luke’s chin and made eye contact. “Did you forget how she smiled at you after dinner? She even let you carry her to the couch.”
“I know.” Luke shrugged. “I’m just…”
“Scared,” Reid calmly said, “and so am I. This is whole new territory, Luke. We’ll just have to trust our instincts, like we did with Danny. That worked out pretty well.”
“But we don’t know anything about her…”
“Exactly. So let’s get acquainted.”
Luke smiled halfheartedly. “I feel so stupid.”
That made Reid sit up straight.
“Stupid? Why?”
“I was the one assuring you I wanted this, that I could do this…”
“You do want this and you can do this…”
“I’m not so sure anymore.”
The soft whisper made Reid frown. He could still hear the little girl sobbing and his father-heart urged him to go to her. But his lover was dealing with pain too. Now what? Three words came to mind. Three words that had already demonstrated their efficiency.
“Trust the love.”
“What?”
“Trust the love. You’ve loved this girl from the moment you saw her. Maybe even before that. Trust that love and we can’t go wrong. I really believe that.”
“Trust the love,” Luke smiled, “Maybe I should tattoo it on my arm. I keep forgetting it.”
“And now you remember,” Reid shrugged and rose to his feet. “Let’s go.”
When they came up the stairs, they could hear Danny leaving his bed and Reid picked him up with an elaborate swoop that made the boy giggle.
“She’s crying,” he whispered in Reid’s ear and the man held the boy close to his chest.
“We know,” Reid kissed the boy’s temple. “I’m really proud of you. You’re a great big brother.”
Danny beamed for a moment, but then looked worried again.
“I didn’t know what to do when she started crying…”
“That’s okay. We’re here.”
He followed Luke to Zoë’s room and then decided to sit on the edge on her bed, still holding Danny in his arms.
Luke softly touched her cheek, but she didn’t open her eyes and for a second the fathers exchanged looks and a silent conversation.
“I don’t know what to say to her…”
“Yes you do.”
“Do you want us to leave?” Luke whispered and with her eyes closed, she shook her head, so Luke kept stroking her cheek.
“It’s okay,” his soft voice was loving and patient, “Is there anything I can do to help?”
Blue eyes, swimming in water, looked up to him and suddenly Luke recognized a yearning that reminded him of Reid. Big blue eyes begging him to hold him, to comfort him, but also the pure disinclination of showing that vulnerability. One big difference…Zoë wasn’t babbling. She wasn’t saying a word, not even making a sound. Luke slowly moved his hand to her back and then softly pulled her against his chest and the moment their bodies met, Zoë’s hands found their way around his neck and her sobbing turned into a heartbreaking cry.
All Luke could do was hold her, while rubbing her back and whispering “It’s okay. Just let it all out.”
When Reid felt Danny watching him, he looked down and smiled when he saw Danny’s telling look and then pulled the boy close to him. Danny knew the signs. Zoë had decided to trust Luke with her pain. Yet another step made.