Clarification
To end all confusion, I am going to write this entry. I am in no way trying to be nasty or mean. I am just tired of the shit going around.
What I did was wrong. For the people that do not know, I am not going to get into it now or explain it.
What I want to talk about is my relationship with sara. We had been dating since Jan 1. I did care about you very much sara, and it was for that reason I did not break up with you sooner. I was afraid of what it would do to you. I had seen first had what happened to you when you had problems with your friends, how you would get suicidal, or when you couldnt handle things you would take your xanex or your klonopins. I asked you to get help, and you would bullshit me all the time. I was worried what would happen if I told you that I no longer wanted to be together. You started to tell me that I was the center of your world, and it scared me more. I didnt know what you would do. I am sorry things turned out the way they did. I never wanted to hurt anyone and I did not know how to tell you goodbye. I tried to distance myself and that just sent you into more distress. I even tried to avoid you. I am sorry that I fell in love with another girl, but that is how things went. I am very happy with her. I cant say that I was as happy with you.
After you found out about what happened I was not only upset about everything, but also relieved. I had a huge weight off of my chest. After things went down, I was worried about you. You wanted to get back together, dont go denying that, cause you know you did. I can recall talking to you and you saying, "well you lost clare, but im here." "Im here" you kept saying, and I was like ok and???? I had my oppertunity to get back with you sara, but as you could see I didnt take that oppertunity. I had made my choice months before.
As much as you would like to think that clare is my fallback girl, because I know that makes you feel better, it isnt true. She was always girl number 1, you were just along for a strange ride. I apologize for this sara because I didnt want to hurt you. I know you will try and make yourself feel better and say that you can do better, I am sure people have said that to you, but people say things just to make you feel better. Clare has been girl number one for 10 months now. She is the girl I am in love with.
I wrote this becasue you think things that just are not true. I love clare, I am in love with clare. You really upset me and her when you said mean things. I will now be mean. Sara, clare is hotter than you, she is prettier than you. She is a better girl than you. She isnt selfish, or spoiled like you. She doesnt chew with her mouth open and then never learns when to shut it. She isnt addicted to the internet, she isnt obsessed with checking peoples shit online. She doesnt check in the mirror a million times, she doesnt obsess about where her remotes are or if her bathroom door is open. She doesnt have all the annoying qualities you have.
Oh and by the way. I am not a drug addict as you would like to think. I have a bad back problem, therefore I take pain killers. If anyone is addicted it is you. You have no problems yet you always wanted to take codeine to get messed up. I am not an alcoholic. I have drank about 4 times in my life total. And the reason that I stopped taking my medication for my OCD is because I do not feel like being a slave to medication like you.
Anyways, I am done
Good luck to you sara. I really hope you succeed and have a good life.
What I did was wrong. For the people that do not know, I am not going to get into it now or explain it.
What I want to talk about is my relationship with sara. We had been dating since Jan 1. I did care about you very much sara, and it was for that reason I did not break up with you sooner. I was afraid of what it would do to you. I had seen first had what happened to you when you had problems with your friends, how you would get suicidal, or when you couldnt handle things you would take your xanex or your klonopins. I asked you to get help, and you would bullshit me all the time. I was worried what would happen if I told you that I no longer wanted to be together. You started to tell me that I was the center of your world, and it scared me more. I didnt know what you would do. I am sorry things turned out the way they did. I never wanted to hurt anyone and I did not know how to tell you goodbye. I tried to distance myself and that just sent you into more distress. I even tried to avoid you. I am sorry that I fell in love with another girl, but that is how things went. I am very happy with her. I cant say that I was as happy with you.
After you found out about what happened I was not only upset about everything, but also relieved. I had a huge weight off of my chest. After things went down, I was worried about you. You wanted to get back together, dont go denying that, cause you know you did. I can recall talking to you and you saying, "well you lost clare, but im here." "Im here" you kept saying, and I was like ok and???? I had my oppertunity to get back with you sara, but as you could see I didnt take that oppertunity. I had made my choice months before.
As much as you would like to think that clare is my fallback girl, because I know that makes you feel better, it isnt true. She was always girl number 1, you were just along for a strange ride. I apologize for this sara because I didnt want to hurt you. I know you will try and make yourself feel better and say that you can do better, I am sure people have said that to you, but people say things just to make you feel better. Clare has been girl number one for 10 months now. She is the girl I am in love with.
I wrote this becasue you think things that just are not true. I love clare, I am in love with clare. You really upset me and her when you said mean things. I will now be mean. Sara, clare is hotter than you, she is prettier than you. She is a better girl than you. She isnt selfish, or spoiled like you. She doesnt chew with her mouth open and then never learns when to shut it. She isnt addicted to the internet, she isnt obsessed with checking peoples shit online. She doesnt check in the mirror a million times, she doesnt obsess about where her remotes are or if her bathroom door is open. She doesnt have all the annoying qualities you have.
Oh and by the way. I am not a drug addict as you would like to think. I have a bad back problem, therefore I take pain killers. If anyone is addicted it is you. You have no problems yet you always wanted to take codeine to get messed up. I am not an alcoholic. I have drank about 4 times in my life total. And the reason that I stopped taking my medication for my OCD is because I do not feel like being a slave to medication like you.
Anyways, I am done
Good luck to you sara. I really hope you succeed and have a good life.