(no subject)
I'm supposed to be writing a journal for my writing class, but I don't want to spend an hour a day writing in some diary.
Instead, I'll spend a few months writing this note, instead.
Still, I won't proofread it, because that would be overachieving my personal goal.
My apartment gets 3 parking spaces in the parking garage. Thus far, my roommates and I have only had 2 cars. Soon, I'll be getting my own car. However, there's a car already parked in my assigned spot. That car has always parked there. When should I report them? I won't get my car for another 2-3 weeks. I can report them as soon as possible to ensure that my spot is open, or I can wait until the last minute to get them out. Of course, I could also leave a note of my own, kindly telling them to move. Do I really want to save them a ticket? Sure.
However, if they don't move their car in time, I'm going to key the concrete around their car, as a warning.
If they still don't move, I'll put a cup of purified water next to their front left tire.
At this point they should be murderously angry at me, perhaps enough so that they will comply and park somewhere else. Nonetheless, I am not afraid to escalate things.
The punishment at strike four would be an orange cone placed in the space when they aren't there.
I think by then they will have no choice but to call security and have things sorted out at the leasing office.
Wow, that was unexciting. I'm telling you that, just in case you didn't figure it out for yourself. Now, I'm stating the obvious for the third time in one paragraph. Apples are green.
Why is it that scissors cut, but pants zip? Both come in a pair!
Apparently, a good way of getting out of a dangerous situation with a disturbed person is to become the even-crazier one. My awesome high school English teacher said that one time she was working late at some office in Berkeley when a grim-faced man walked in pulling on a piece of rope. Presumably, he was a serial killer that strangled his victims. With a bit of ingenuity and a lot of courage, my English teacher walked up to the man and began giving him detailed directions to the library. Thoroughly confused, the stranger walked out, never to be heard of again.
If I were to ever be in such a situation, I think my life saving script will be about the ramifications of putting a cat on a person's head in a metropolitan social environment during a mutiny of socks against their shoe masters due to the negative aura of persuasion they both possess on anti-feline canines. Also, I'll tell them where the nearest library is.
You know, just in case they want to read up on the subject. It's actually a very interesting topic, but the funding for the research is hard to come by. Apparently the tests require staplers to evaluate their own clenching abilities, which makes insurance companies nervous, meaning investors are hesitant to pour in their non-sequential cash bills to my associate, Prince Juan de Miguel. (It's easier and more economical for us to do business in Mexico than Nigeria.)
It's always good to have a plan B. My contingency plan would be to freeze them with a fire extinguisher and smash them to pieces. Then, I'll call the emergency hotline.
Instead, I'll spend a few months writing this note, instead.
Still, I won't proofread it, because that would be overachieving my personal goal.
My apartment gets 3 parking spaces in the parking garage. Thus far, my roommates and I have only had 2 cars. Soon, I'll be getting my own car. However, there's a car already parked in my assigned spot. That car has always parked there. When should I report them? I won't get my car for another 2-3 weeks. I can report them as soon as possible to ensure that my spot is open, or I can wait until the last minute to get them out. Of course, I could also leave a note of my own, kindly telling them to move. Do I really want to save them a ticket? Sure.
However, if they don't move their car in time, I'm going to key the concrete around their car, as a warning.
If they still don't move, I'll put a cup of purified water next to their front left tire.
At this point they should be murderously angry at me, perhaps enough so that they will comply and park somewhere else. Nonetheless, I am not afraid to escalate things.
The punishment at strike four would be an orange cone placed in the space when they aren't there.
I think by then they will have no choice but to call security and have things sorted out at the leasing office.
Wow, that was unexciting. I'm telling you that, just in case you didn't figure it out for yourself. Now, I'm stating the obvious for the third time in one paragraph. Apples are green.
Why is it that scissors cut, but pants zip? Both come in a pair!
Apparently, a good way of getting out of a dangerous situation with a disturbed person is to become the even-crazier one. My awesome high school English teacher said that one time she was working late at some office in Berkeley when a grim-faced man walked in pulling on a piece of rope. Presumably, he was a serial killer that strangled his victims. With a bit of ingenuity and a lot of courage, my English teacher walked up to the man and began giving him detailed directions to the library. Thoroughly confused, the stranger walked out, never to be heard of again.
If I were to ever be in such a situation, I think my life saving script will be about the ramifications of putting a cat on a person's head in a metropolitan social environment during a mutiny of socks against their shoe masters due to the negative aura of persuasion they both possess on anti-feline canines. Also, I'll tell them where the nearest library is.
You know, just in case they want to read up on the subject. It's actually a very interesting topic, but the funding for the research is hard to come by. Apparently the tests require staplers to evaluate their own clenching abilities, which makes insurance companies nervous, meaning investors are hesitant to pour in their non-sequential cash bills to my associate, Prince Juan de Miguel. (It's easier and more economical for us to do business in Mexico than Nigeria.)
It's always good to have a plan B. My contingency plan would be to freeze them with a fire extinguisher and smash them to pieces. Then, I'll call the emergency hotline.