So I found myself at the mirror again, picking at my screwed up face. Scabs and scars, inflammation and pock marks. This has been a daily routine for many years now. And as I picked at a scab that I know will turn into a permanent scar, I thought to myself that this has got to stop. I've tried stopping before. I've tried keeping my face meticulously clean, I've tried writing myself notes and taping them to the mirror, I've tried covering my mirrors completely, I've tried long nails and short nails and I've tried putting money away for every time I picked. None of it helps. I'm ruining my face and other parts of my body. I'm embarrassed to go out, embarrassed to go to work and embarrassed to show my face and body to my boyfriend. I decided to look up online if this is something that other people go through. And it's true. Many people suffer from Compulsive (or Chronic) Skin Picking.
http://home.att.net/~j-claiborn-phd/SKIN_PICKING.HTML It's a condition related to OCD, as it is difficult to control without help, and obsessiveness. For years I just thought it was a bad habit, but lately I realize just how much it has become a problem for me. It's gotten to the point that people comment on it (what happened to your face?) and even worse, I'll be at work at my desk and my hand will wonder up to my face and I'll feel a bump. I'll scratch at it and pick at it with one hand and if I don't get it, I'll try to ignore it, but I'll keep feeling it and noticing it, that eventually I have to go to the bathroom just so that I can find it in the mirror and take care of it. How bad is that? It's horrible. I don't want to be so ugly and I don't want to be so obsessed that it takes over my focus from other things. This IS a problem and I have to do something about it.