novela
"what do you mean?" she said staring at him as if she was really that surprised at his question.
" i don't know, in my dream you had a bikini on and... i just think it's better." he said hoping she could understand.
" so you don't like the way i look anymore, is that it?" frustrated now
-silence-
" do you think i like being this way? i never wanted to be like this and i've been trying to change for a long time and just when my self-esteem has finally rebuilt it self, you go and tell me this... come on, for crying out loud! You knew how i looked when you first met me and what, you thought us being together i would just start losing weight?"
-silence-
" you know you're not helping anymore. Do you even love me anymore?" She beings to tear up and he looks at her with sorrow in his eyes.
" I still love you and i always will, i was just suggesting, that's all." he said as if regreting mentioning it at all.
" well, im not angry, i can understand that you don't like the way i look... anymore (crying now), it's just that now i feel as if you don't find me attractive anymore because of this... and i dont know." stopping as if expecting a reponse that would make it all better.
"please don't let this change anything, i still love you and want to be with you." he completely regreted telling her this and now he feels he might lose her because of it.
"please baby, stop crying, im sorry. I love you more than anything." he says softly while reaching for her hand.
" i don't know anymore how you can love a fat pig like me (pushing his hand away)."
"i feel like a complete ass now." getting of the bed, he goes into the bathroom.
She sits there in her tears, letting them fill her face. Then she stops crying and takes a deep breathe. To her self " i guess i can stand to lose some weight (she sighs), this fucking sucks."
He comes out of the bathroom and sits back on the bed.
" i love you more than anything in the world and i was just suggesting, i would love you anyway, just the way you are." looking at her he trys to conjure up a smile.
" well, now that i know how you feel, i can't leave it this way. And your not going to see me for a while. This really hurts, but it doesn't come a surprise. I kinda knew how you felt; i just didn't want to believe it or want to hear it." she trys to put on a smile so he doesn't feel bad anymore, yet she still has a tremendous lump in her throat that wants to come out in tears.
" i love you and i will do it for us." she grabs his hand and he leans in to kiss her. They kiss.
He gets off of the bed and says he's hungry. She looks at him with a blank stare "im not hungry."
"but you haven't eaten anything today."
"so." she said wanting to slap him considering the conversation they jsut had.
" if you want i will make you something, you have to eat, babe."
" i am not hungry and don't make me anything, im fine." her stomach now rumbling. He looked at her worried.
" i don't want you to do anything to hurt yourself." worried that she will develope an eating disorder.
"im not and don't worry (smiling), im just not hungry. I will eat something when i get home, ok?" she said with a convincing smile and a light giggle.
"ok, but are you sure i can't make you something? I don't mind." he said rummaging through the fridge.
" its ok, babe. Im not hungry, i will eat when im hungry." She then conteplates an eating disorder. She thinks that's the only way it will help; not just for her, but in order to keep her boyfriend. Something drastic was about to happen and she knew it.