im so glad i took that advice from a good friend
i let myself like someone for the first time in forrrrevvverr. i let my guard down, i tell my secrets, i paint a picture, i write songs in my head. listen to me i sound like such a douche. i'm so terrified that after this ridiculous piece of shit day, that i won't let myself trust another person like i trusted him in a very long time.
i don't know what i did to even cause this, but i'm glad it happened. it's like that song, "now that can i see you, i don't think you're worth a second glance. so much for your endearing sense of charm, it served you well, but now its gone and its wasted on me."
six months ago after that disaster with brandon i promised myself i wouldn't hurt anymore. i guess the guys that seem the nicest can trick you and lie to you. how could i be such a horrible judge of character? i'm so sick of being clueless.
im just sad because it would have been a great relationship. a really great one. i've never connected with anyone like that before.
bye love