Meh.
I wasn't going to lj-cut this entry, but I know people get pissybitch about long entries in their friends page...so yeah.
I'm not in particularly good mood...I'm....actually feeling kinda shitty. Emotionally, anyway. I dunno why...maybe I'm PMSing, but that's really not supposed to start for another week yet.
I dunno, I guess at the moment...I feel torn because I feel completely different from everyone around me, but I also keep feeling that I'm just like everyone else...not better or special or different. There's nothing really that makes me stand out...and I don't like that. At all. On the other hand, I feel like I can't share anything I love with anyone because...like...no one else is into what I'm into...and that makes me sad. I mean, I know I have friends online and whatnot I can talk to endlessly about things...demo...it's different. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, because I'm not, it's just...I don't know.
*Sighs* And I HATE that I keep censoring myself in all of my livejournal entries...but I guess that's the price I pay for making this public. Even if I made it friends-only...I'd still have to censor myself. I don't even want to say that, but it's true, really. Please, no one go paranoid on me, okay? I'm just having some inner demons to work out. And I'm feeling extremely cynical.
Anyway, to make up for it, I've uploaded some files via yousendit.com.
Ash (Osaka Live) [Dir en grey] - EXCELLENT quality video *AND* fanservice. Can you say, "favorite"?
PV - Koko Ni Iruzee! [Morning Musume] - Good quality, VERY catchy and kinda cute. Not as sickeningly cute as some of the Mini Moni stuff, but I like it. The song isn't all, "Kawaii ne?!" It's kinda cool.
I don't know where Ayu came from. I guess pure randomness' sake. Fuck it. I'm only on the second video and I'm already pissed at yousendit enough to not want to upload ANY...Anyway, back to the entry: And I'm more like Shinya than just liking doggehs...I like Morning Musume too *Cries* THERE, I said it...I'm a fan. I can't help it...their music is fucking catchy, okay?! ESPECIALLY Koko Ni Iruzee. Gomen nasai...I can't be angry all the time. I should be thankful for that. I don't know if I am or not. I'm angry often tho...heh. *Hangs her head* Mutha fuck.
Gahhh...I need to wash my face. And I know that was totally random, but with me waiting the freaking millenium it takes for yousendit to upload files, it was a while between this paragraph and the one before it, trust me. I'm wasting time, watching videos coz I'm THAT GOD DAMN BORED. I can't really do anything web-reated [IE: Work on my site] until it's finished because I'm wary that if I work on something, and get my computer too overloaded, that I'll mess something up and either stop the yousendit or delete this massive entry.
On another random note........do you know how much it amuses/entertains/makes me happy that Die-san sings? For some reason, I just never thought the rest of Diru sang, but they do. At least in one song. And I was teasing Toshiya [ano...in a way] because the *one* time I've seen him sing, he dropped his mic XD Silly Totchi. *Watches Umbrella [Live]* Oh well, I guess it wouldn't be fair for me to mention I have the video and not offer it, ne?
Umbrella [LIVE - The Code of Vulgarism Tour04] [Dir en grey] - Fair quality. Extremely entertaining tho. Gremlins. Kyo no egao. Die-san singing. Toshiya dropping his mic, only to have one of the stage hands freak, run over and pick it up for him because he was ON THE GROUND singing. OH yeah.
There you go. ^_^v MUCH Kyo no egao in that one. AND a Gremlins shirt...I almost pissed. Rob saw it too, coz I whore all my Diru stuff onto him, and he was like, "GREMLINS!" And I just nodded and was like, "Awe yeah..." *Goes off to babble on about how she loves Kyo's hands, and how sometimes he's got gloves on and she loves that...but she also loves his bare hands...like when he does his little weirdo hand...typing-at-the-air thing in the...*checks* Fukai (Live - 5 days blitz day 5)* And iie, I'm not giving that one out...just trust me, ne? Maybe some other time.
*Yawns* Booooooorrrrrreeeeeeeed. Oh, hey! I saw a coyote today O_O Dude, a real, live..wild coyote. All in plain view and everything. I tried to tell my parents and they were just like, ".....meh..." v_v I'm very ignored. If they don't watch out, I'm going to start dressing like Kyo. Regularly. Including blonde hair and black lips. And just run around the house with alcaseltzer in my mouth so I can foam and sputter at them. Footchas. Awwwwwwe...*pets Kyo* He's so pretty. He also makes pretty hand gestures...I don't know why...
Gahhh..Sidney and Lorac are here with Lorac, Jr. Bekki doesn't even watch her OWN baby and she's offering to take care of Sidney's? O_o Ano........can someone explain this to me, onegai? Yeah...*Goes off to think as her head IMplodes*
Hey, you wanna know what'd be funny? If Dir en grey re-did the song, "I'm too sexy"...Could you....imagine....KYO singing that? Dude....I think I've just found my source of entertainment for the next twenty sec--wait, what? HA! Just kidding. ^_^ I think them singing "I'm too sexy" would be totally, TOTALLY un-them................................but fucking hella amusing:
*Writes Kyo a letter about it*
~10 Years Later~
Kyo: *blink.* SKlngsmg,fmalkfnhadfklmsdfmeFOOTCHAkrmgksdmfkaemfankefaefms,fmsfakfsfnsgSHOWTIME-Idon'tknowhy-sdkfmakfmaekfmekjenhrhnafufkcfuck,dsfmgamafniemwgmasf....IIE
~Two weeks Later~
*gets the reply* ...nkay. ^_^b
The "...nkay" thing is sort of a joke between Stephanie and I. She...well, we were talking about Dir en grey a while ago and she's like, "I could just see you sitting there, while [Kyo] sputters on in Japanese and you'd just go, '.......nkay. *grins stupidly*'" *nods* And....I probably would do that too...coz I laughed and went, "Yeah...I'd be like, 'I don't know what you're saying but you're pretty and I want to have sex with you!'" Yeah...OHHHHHH yeah. In a completely...non-fangirl....type of...sort of way. *Nods* Totally.
*Clears her throat* MY yousendit takes an awful long time. And I'm only on the second video. HA. Ano..in other news, I quit Jrockhumor...I was entirely TOO sick of people just plain MEAN. I mean, there's a FINE line between funny and mean, I admit...but what the fucking hell? Must we continually rip on people and think it's funny? It's just...not. After a while, it gets really old. REALLY old. So I just quit. *Shrugs* Oh well.
Totally unrelated again, but has anyone else noticed Kaoru's slight tongue fetish? That boy is ALWAYS sticking out or rolling or flicking his tongue. Nooot that I'm complaining...in fact, I quite enjoy it and I get a little giddy, but I've just never seen it noted before. Unlike how everyone bitches about his, "face pubes"...Leave his God damn facial hair alone. Fuckers. It makes me too mad to even be nice and happy and call them footchas. FUCKERS. I'm also a little sick of people just generally bitching about Dir en grey. Ano...doushite? What the fuck? If you're gonna be a FAN, be a fucking FAN, okay? Don't sit there and complain about them...what the fuck is that? If you don't like something, be like, "Okay, I wasn't thrilled with that...but w/e" because 1.) There's nothing you can do to change it 2.) Probably, no one gives a right fuck 3.) Why......the hell would you go and bitch about something you're supposed to like? Granted, I totally understand not everyone will like everything someone does...but I mean, why be so mean and bitchy about it? GET OVER IT. Kaoru's facial hair being a priiiime example. That and Withering to death. Maybe I haven't been a fan long enough, but I LOVE WTD. But maybe I'm not special enough and haven't been a FAN long enough to be justified. Whatever. Diru isn't my first band--they won't be my last. I just don't feel it's right to shit-talk something you're supposed to be a fan of...otherwise, don't be a fan. It's that simple, really.
/end random bitch rant
I know, I know...this entry is ungodly long but...It's all yousendit's fault. I don't wanna just leave the comp alone, it might explode without some sort of human contact. Anyway...MIO's gonna kill me if she sees this...Morning Musume...don't hate me, MIO! I got sucked in, honest. ;_; They're evil. I can't help it. *hangs head*
Anyway. One last file with yousendit, ne? I think the MM one took about a half hour...Hmm. Maybe. And I still want to wash my face.......but I don't want to go do that with people around. Maybe I'll use some of Bekki's mint masque stuff. Guah. Take that, biatch.
Moving on. Today I helped Steph with her ceramics again and hopefully I will tomorrow. We've gotten to carving/decorating and we're using Kanji symbols ^_^ I'm excited. I was telling my dad about my portable CD player+car adapter crapping out on me, and I was about to tell him that I was going to try to use batteries to see if it was my CD player or the adapter junk and he totally offered his and I was like, "O_O......uh..sure...that'd be great" And he asked when I needed it and I said probably not until work on Tuesday...but maybe I can ask for it tomorrow as I will be driving. And...*Sighs* I have to pull ten bucks out of the bank to put gas in my car. I just filled it up on Sunday and it's already like...on a quarter of a tank. v_v
Alright, well...I guess that's the end of my ramblings because all three files have been uploaded. I hope you enjoy them ano...ja ne!!