Jul 27, 2005 06:14
but that doesn't mean my life isn't shit. ^^ I keep trying to work my way up to something where I'm happy with the goals in my life, where I'm happy with what's going on and how I'm interacting with people. BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO the second I start feeling good about myself is the second I start fucking everything up! It's like I want to continue to stay down in the dregs or something. I tell myself I can start yoga again a little bit at a time, you know one exercise at a time for a short period of time. Think I can do it... of course not. Stupid motherfucking depression, I've had it up to my fucking eyeballs. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
Not getting down about shit anymore, I don't care, it's a waste of my motherfucking time. I can sit here and beat myself up over all the dumbass shit I've done or just accept the fact I did something stupid, apologise and forgive myself.
X_x This personality change better be expedient. I don't think I can take anymore of this without drastic sedative or dissociative measures. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHH
And for anyone who has a comment to this, regardless of what it may be... FUCK OFF. I don't tell you how shitty your life is so don't go telling me how shitty mine is.. AT LEAST I FUCKING KNOW IT SUCKS.