(no subject)
So yesterday I ended up having to take one of the kids to the hospital for random stupidity on their part. After 2 1/2 hours of listening to her talk about fecal eating, flinging, and other grossness, We had to sit on a bed thingy in the hall. Unfortunately it was the same room my dad was in on Oct. 18th one year ago, when I brought him to the hospital cause he was dying and his wife said to leave him home, and he refused the ambulance. I had my back up against the wall, right where I had to leave the room to cry, because I couldn't cry in front of him. But there I was, and there was someone in another room crying not to be made to go somewhere, I guess he attempted suicide, but the crying made me kinda get stuck back where it was my dad, crying, choking, trying to speak but being unable to do so, begging for the pain to stop, having tube stuck up his nose, down his throat, needles everywhere... and I couldn't watch it all, I left the room like a coward....
So anywhere, there I was infront of that room, near the resident. I was trying like hell to keep my mind in the present, but a tear managed to roll down my cheek. Luckily it was the other side of my face, so she couldn't see. But I think I can't bring kids to the hospital anymore, I guess I'm not as ok with this kinda stuff as I had originally thought.
Meh.
So anywhere, there I was infront of that room, near the resident. I was trying like hell to keep my mind in the present, but a tear managed to roll down my cheek. Luckily it was the other side of my face, so she couldn't see. But I think I can't bring kids to the hospital anymore, I guess I'm not as ok with this kinda stuff as I had originally thought.
Meh.