A Mental Cork If You Please
So, I've been doing alot of what i do best; think.
I can't help but remember these things, these little
things that I remember happening as if it were just
a moment ago... I keep seeing everything that has
happened... it's like my life is flashing before my
eyes, and it gets more intense as the days go on...
Today I remembered our old couch that was grey in our
old house with cranberry carpeting... there was a grey
recliner that use to be near my old bedroom... and
when my parents were in the living room watching tv
after I had been sent to bed... I remember crawling out
and sneaking behind the recliner to watch tv... I'd
always get caught a few minutes into it. I remember the
bunk beds mark and I use to share, we'd roll off the
top one onto the bottom one cause it was an l shape.
i remember some little kid named Jeffry and kyle, matt
and I would take beer caps from the basement and smash
them down with a hammer, making them flat, and that
was our play money.
I remember i use to make mud in a bucket, I would add
mud, find some water, then spend my day harvesting the
bulbs from the grass that grew... then those would be
crushed, and added... I put in berries I found... and
always added some insect... how bizaar...
I remember the day mark and I were home from TCMS and these
two dogs that were scarey as hell were on the other side
of the fence... two brown pitbulls. We went upstairs and
found some deli meat, and fed it to the dogs... they came
on our side of the fence... and we spent all day playing with
them... then mom came home and said we'd stay with them outside,
and if no one came... we'd call the pound... one had a red collar,
and the other had blue... I think, now, that they were a mating
pair and the owners bred them for money... how depressing...
I remember I had once had a dream that my nana, who had died recently
at the time, lived behind my garage... there was an oven, and the
whole area was constructed of sheets, i was just so happy to see
her... I think she was making hotdogs... like she always use to,
I also remember, now, being outside in the pool area over nana's
house while she was painting the little mermaid on the brown fence.
I remember lying, as a child, to my step-grandma, that I saw a bunch
of praying mantis', and they were all different colors... I think
she knew I had a very wild imagination as a child...
But yea... memories could go on and on, even now, i am just remembering
things, it's been making me randomly cry, cause it will be so sudden,
I wonder if it means I am going to die soon? I mean, don't
you see your life flash before your eyes before u die?
Why else would I be remembering so much all of the sudden,
and the thing is... is not all the memories are things
that are good and sentimental... some of them are things
I must have tried to forget, cause they are painful,
and they make me feel uncomfortable...
I can remember almost every phone conversation I
have ever had... even when I was in 2nd grade
and left a message on Michelle Dudies answering machine,
she left a message previous to me calling her, saying
cuss words, and mean things...
but anyway... you get the point... flooded by memories...
any suggestions on mental corks? I'm all for 'em.
I can't help but remember these things, these little
things that I remember happening as if it were just
a moment ago... I keep seeing everything that has
happened... it's like my life is flashing before my
eyes, and it gets more intense as the days go on...
Today I remembered our old couch that was grey in our
old house with cranberry carpeting... there was a grey
recliner that use to be near my old bedroom... and
when my parents were in the living room watching tv
after I had been sent to bed... I remember crawling out
and sneaking behind the recliner to watch tv... I'd
always get caught a few minutes into it. I remember the
bunk beds mark and I use to share, we'd roll off the
top one onto the bottom one cause it was an l shape.
i remember some little kid named Jeffry and kyle, matt
and I would take beer caps from the basement and smash
them down with a hammer, making them flat, and that
was our play money.
I remember i use to make mud in a bucket, I would add
mud, find some water, then spend my day harvesting the
bulbs from the grass that grew... then those would be
crushed, and added... I put in berries I found... and
always added some insect... how bizaar...
I remember the day mark and I were home from TCMS and these
two dogs that were scarey as hell were on the other side
of the fence... two brown pitbulls. We went upstairs and
found some deli meat, and fed it to the dogs... they came
on our side of the fence... and we spent all day playing with
them... then mom came home and said we'd stay with them outside,
and if no one came... we'd call the pound... one had a red collar,
and the other had blue... I think, now, that they were a mating
pair and the owners bred them for money... how depressing...
I remember I had once had a dream that my nana, who had died recently
at the time, lived behind my garage... there was an oven, and the
whole area was constructed of sheets, i was just so happy to see
her... I think she was making hotdogs... like she always use to,
I also remember, now, being outside in the pool area over nana's
house while she was painting the little mermaid on the brown fence.
I remember lying, as a child, to my step-grandma, that I saw a bunch
of praying mantis', and they were all different colors... I think
she knew I had a very wild imagination as a child...
But yea... memories could go on and on, even now, i am just remembering
things, it's been making me randomly cry, cause it will be so sudden,
I wonder if it means I am going to die soon? I mean, don't
you see your life flash before your eyes before u die?
Why else would I be remembering so much all of the sudden,
and the thing is... is not all the memories are things
that are good and sentimental... some of them are things
I must have tried to forget, cause they are painful,
and they make me feel uncomfortable...
I can remember almost every phone conversation I
have ever had... even when I was in 2nd grade
and left a message on Michelle Dudies answering machine,
she left a message previous to me calling her, saying
cuss words, and mean things...
but anyway... you get the point... flooded by memories...
any suggestions on mental corks? I'm all for 'em.