...they watched the two survivors of the Peterson-Marcus household cling to each other.
Every word of this statement lends a vivid image of the tragedy and the two men (4 if you count Michael & Ben) who will be there to pick up the pieces. That statement, especially using the word "survivors", hung in the air.
"There's no way in hell Michael and I are going to let either of you go back to them willingly."
Those are fighting words if I've ever heard them--and apparently long overdue!
Outstanding chapter! Each and every segment was emotional and felt true to the story. The altercation between Brian & Lindsay at the door was perfect and the immediate reaction from Justin was clearly executed with time-learned experience.
Maybe he didn't get everything wrong.Refering to his apparent marriage to Justin at some point in their lives together, since Justin's return when Gus was 7, was done in a subtle, yet clear way. There is now no argument that ALL the Dads have a much more stable life than the Moms ever had
( ... )
The altercation between Brian & Lindsay at the door was perfect and the immediate reaction from Justin was clearly executed with time-learned experience.
The Brian & Lindsay scene wrote itself at 3am the day before yesterday. I just couldn't sleep until I'd gotten it all down on paper.
Justin coming in to pick up the pieces was very intentional. I knew I was dropping anvils again, but it makes sense that he'd be used to playing peacemaker after 17 years in the family...and 7 years post 'the incident.'
Refering to his apparent marriage to Justin at some point in their lives together, since Justin's return when Gus was 7, was done in a subtle, yet clear way.I was kind of chuckling when I was responding to your Justin post because I knew what I'd be posting later that evening
( ... )
...scenes we never saw - Brian getting the all clear that his cancer was gone post treatment.The only way we know he is still in remission is when he tells Ted and then announces he's on his way to Australia. But that's just one year post-op and it seems that he doesn't share this with anyone else
( ... )
I like how you inserted this as another that the Moms dumped on Gus unnecessarily AND without telling Brian that they did so.
I didn't think it was that much of a leap given the fact that Melanie constantly calls Brian names in front of his son.
Another point that comes to mind is JR's ADHD.Two of my own cousin were found to have it. Although I must admit that I seriously question the diagnosis
( ... )
What a way to leave us fucking hanging! I am SO on the edge of my seat now.
::grin:: How much longer to do we have to wait for the next chapter?
*frowns*
I didn't intend on making a huge cliffhanger; I just didn't realize I was doing it because I know where it's going.
*palm/face*
Yeah...that was a short bus moment.
As to the next chapter, I have one lengthy scene left to write, one to finish typing in, and general editing to do. The typing should only take thirty minutes or so. The editing will take an hour or so. That last scene though...it's a tricky one emotionally. I've been through four or five versions of it since February alone. Since it's the lynchpen of the chapter, I'm afraid I'm going to have to beat it until it's in submission.
I don't even know what to say. I've been rendered speechless yet again. I feel as if anything I say will be trite and pale in comparison to what reading this fic has made me feel.
What strikes me the most (particularly in the last chapter) is the depth of emotion and the way it bleeds onto the page and leaps out and grabs a hold of you.
The anger...rage, epspecially, that Brian feels at Lindsay's singular selfishness, the hatred Gus feels for his mothers and the despair (despite everything) Gus and JR feel at the news of their mothers' divorce.
I could say more, but I won't for fear of rambling.
So good. Seriously...I need more.
And I know...I still owe you a birthday rec. I haven't forgotten. I hope you haven't worked your way through the entire HP fandom while I've delayed. ;)
These last few chapters have been particularly difficult to write given the amount of emotional material I have to cover. And the next chapter. Egads! If you hear a thumping sound, it's me beating my head against the wall. LOL!
I hope you haven't worked your way through the entire HP fandom while I've delayed. ;)
*snickers*
It's a great big fandom. There's no way I could have read everything. Although I really wish Vorabiza would update Secrets...
Thanks so much for flisting me. This is an amazing fic (I've spent the last few hours reading it all). The schmoopy bit with Brian and Justin is perfect - leaves me wanting more, which is always a plus. I'd like to get a little better idea of Gus between 10 and 16 - presumably there's a progression of badness in the household, or (I hope) he wouldn't have stuck it out so long w/o telling the dads. But probably I should read it again and pay more attention to the in-between ages. I like the non-chronological progression of the story (it unfolds so well!) but it does make for more rereading as things look different once we understand the 'incident'. One other thing is that sometimes (to me) Gus sounds too old or too young, mostly at 7 or 10. Speech patterns, mostly, I guess - you get the emotions so right! Anyway, great story and I look forward to the next chapter when you get the chance.
But probably I should read it again and pay more attention to the in-between ages. I like the non-chronological progression of the story (it unfolds so well!) The progression of the story was meant to seem like events in the present triggering Gus' memories of the past. Gus finding Charlie on the floor of his bathroom, for example, triggered the memory of 'the incident's' ER trip. At least, that's how I've seen them
( ... )
I am so glad that Brian spoke as he did to Linds. She needs to be made aware of the effects of her and Mel's actions. It's great too that both Gus and JR know what's going on - kids shouldn't be kept in the dark. And it's also great that they know that Brian and Michael are going to fight for them. Off to read the next chapter.
I felt it needed to be done. Lindsay's the type to live in her perfect little world and never be willing or able to see the truth. That and I had fun writing it. LOL!
Comments 29
Every word of this statement lends a vivid image of the tragedy and the two men (4 if you count Michael & Ben) who will be there to pick up the pieces. That statement, especially using the word "survivors", hung in the air.
"There's no way in hell Michael and I are going to let either of you go back to them willingly."
Those are fighting words if I've ever heard them--and apparently long overdue!
Outstanding chapter! Each and every segment was emotional and felt true to the story. The altercation between Brian & Lindsay at the door was perfect and the immediate reaction from Justin was clearly executed with time-learned experience.
Maybe he didn't get everything wrong.Refering to his apparent marriage to Justin at some point in their lives together, since Justin's return when Gus was 7, was done in a subtle, yet clear way. There is now no argument that ALL the Dads have a much more stable life than the Moms ever had ( ... )
Reply
*blushes*
Thank you kindly!
The altercation between Brian & Lindsay at the door was perfect and the immediate reaction from Justin was clearly executed with time-learned experience.
The Brian & Lindsay scene wrote itself at 3am the day before yesterday. I just couldn't sleep until I'd gotten it all down on paper.
Justin coming in to pick up the pieces was very intentional. I knew I was dropping anvils again, but it makes sense that he'd be used to playing peacemaker after 17 years in the family...and 7 years post 'the incident.'
Refering to his apparent marriage to Justin at some point in their lives together, since Justin's return when Gus was 7, was done in a subtle, yet clear way.I was kind of chuckling when I was responding to your Justin post because I knew what I'd be posting later that evening ( ... )
Reply
Reply
I didn't think it was that much of a leap given the fact that Melanie constantly calls Brian names in front of his son.
Another point that comes to mind is JR's ADHD.Two of my own cousin were found to have it. Although I must admit that I seriously question the diagnosis ( ... )
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
::grin:: How much longer to do we have to wait for the next chapter?
*frowns*
I didn't intend on making a huge cliffhanger; I just didn't realize I was doing it because I know where it's going.
*palm/face*
Yeah...that was a short bus moment.
As to the next chapter, I have one lengthy scene left to write, one to finish typing in, and general editing to do. The typing should only take thirty minutes or so. The editing will take an hour or so. That last scene though...it's a tricky one emotionally. I've been through four or five versions of it since February alone. Since it's the lynchpen of the chapter, I'm afraid I'm going to have to beat it until it's in submission.
*gets out whips and chains*
Will see what I can do. ;D
Reply
What strikes me the most (particularly in the last chapter) is the depth of emotion and the way it bleeds onto the page and leaps out and grabs a hold of you.
The anger...rage, epspecially, that Brian feels at Lindsay's singular selfishness, the hatred Gus feels for his mothers and the despair (despite everything) Gus and JR feel at the news of their mothers' divorce.
I could say more, but I won't for fear of rambling.
So good. Seriously...I need more.
And I know...I still owe you a birthday rec. I haven't forgotten. I hope you haven't worked your way through the entire HP fandom while I've delayed. ;)
Reply
Wow! Thank you for the positive feedback! :D
These last few chapters have been particularly difficult to write given the amount of emotional material I have to cover. And the next chapter. Egads! If you hear a thumping sound, it's me beating my head against the wall. LOL!
I hope you haven't worked your way through the entire HP fandom while I've delayed. ;)
*snickers*
It's a great big fandom. There's no way I could have read everything. Although I really wish Vorabiza would update Secrets...
Reply
Reply
You're welcome. :)
But probably I should read it again and pay more attention to the in-between ages. I like the non-chronological progression of the story (it unfolds so well!) The progression of the story was meant to seem like events in the present triggering Gus' memories of the past. Gus finding Charlie on the floor of his bathroom, for example, triggered the memory of 'the incident's' ER trip. At least, that's how I've seen them ( ... )
Reply
Reply
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