*sighs*
i'll never forgive myself for doing what i had to do to carolyn. she deserves so much better than i could ever have hoped to give her. i thought i was man enough to give her the relationship that she wanted. i was wrong. i'm more sorry about that than i let anyone know about.
demetre IM'ed me last night. it started off with us being friendly... sort of. then, i told him how much i held back to not hospitalize him and tom for what they repeatedly told carolyn. that just lead into me telling him of for being such an incredible pussy about it. he owned up to it all being his idea, but i don't believe that. i know that he had a lot to do with it, but i still think tom was behind the whole thing. i told demetre that we weren't friends. he told me to move on with my life, because from this day forward, he wasn't going to bother me anymore. good. that was EXACTLY what i was going for. closure. good day. done.
i had softball practice for 2½ hours yesterday. i played the drums for an hour before practice, and then 2½ hours after practice. my fingers were numb when i was done. that's never happened before. working with those new drumcorp stick i got is already paying off. i got my inspiration for that from the movie drumline. i'm such a dork. oh well.
i'm going to be single for a while. a long long long long while. i don't want to get involved with anyone at all this whole last year of college. but maybe i should. but maybe i shouldn't. who knows? let the chips fall where they may. i take it as it comes to me.
i went out with the boys last night, even though i have a really bad cold. i was DD, of course. we had some fun. we went to mcnally's and north beach. it would've been more fun if we had the larger group that we always have at fitz's on thursdays after the games.
strange thing happened. this past thursday, a girl that i know through ashley sort of came on to me. her name is linda, and she works at the library. that was interesting. she tried to get me to go to galloway's after fitz's by making the blowjob motion at me. i looked at her, kinda giggled, and told her no. sorry ladies. i won't be controlled.
demetre IM'ed me last night. it started off with us being friendly... sort of. then, i told him how much i held back to not hospitalize him and tom for what they repeatedly told carolyn. that just lead into me telling him of for being such an incredible pussy about it. he owned up to it all being his idea, but i don't believe that. i know that he had a lot to do with it, but i still think tom was behind the whole thing. i told demetre that we weren't friends. he told me to move on with my life, because from this day forward, he wasn't going to bother me anymore. good. that was EXACTLY what i was going for. closure. good day. done.
i had softball practice for 2½ hours yesterday. i played the drums for an hour before practice, and then 2½ hours after practice. my fingers were numb when i was done. that's never happened before. working with those new drumcorp stick i got is already paying off. i got my inspiration for that from the movie drumline. i'm such a dork. oh well.
i'm going to be single for a while. a long long long long while. i don't want to get involved with anyone at all this whole last year of college. but maybe i should. but maybe i shouldn't. who knows? let the chips fall where they may. i take it as it comes to me.
i went out with the boys last night, even though i have a really bad cold. i was DD, of course. we had some fun. we went to mcnally's and north beach. it would've been more fun if we had the larger group that we always have at fitz's on thursdays after the games.
strange thing happened. this past thursday, a girl that i know through ashley sort of came on to me. her name is linda, and she works at the library. that was interesting. she tried to get me to go to galloway's after fitz's by making the blowjob motion at me. i looked at her, kinda giggled, and told her no. sorry ladies. i won't be controlled.