Apologies
Fart. This season needs to end quickly before I do something drastic...not like i already haven't. All of you may have heard about my little episode with Leah...yes I decided to break up with her, then, after a long good talk decided it wasn't worth it. It goes something like this:
Leah is the greatest girlfriend I have not only got to date, but she's the best I could hope for, I love everything about her. A lot. But yes, there are stupid little things that are annoying that she does, but I don't give a fuck about them because she's so GREAT! That's the way it's supposed to work, but it seems that my brain is going fucking nuts. I just get annoyed, with everything, friends, girlfriend, parent especially, I just want them all to SHUT UP. But then I think "I'm not like that." Cuz I'm NOT. I love hearing what everyone has to say, I love fuckin with people, they are my drugs and allow me to resolve my problems, and keep my sanity. But shit, I have been so DOWN, it's not even like depression, I feel good about ME, I just feel like shit about everyone else. And it sucks, cuz you guys never did anything wrong.
So then I feel like shithole because to ME, Leah seems like she's unapreciative about what I do for her, and yes, she may really NOT feel unnapreciative, but it just feels that way to ME. So for the past couple of months, I've just felt really crappy inside and unhappy. Spending the day with her is fun, but it's hard to smile cuz I feel bad inside. Poop. So it just got to the point where I didn't want to feel like that anymore, so I decided to break up. Shitty. Bad. I didn't WANT to, but I didn't want to feel like crap the next day. Chris and Jl and Lindsey came over and made me feel better while I was pondering about my actions. So then I stayed over at Lindseys, and next to Leah, Lindsey knows everything about me, so she was a big help. She kinda made my thoughts a bit more clear. It's good to have friends like that. And Chris just made me feel safe and secure. So the next day I called Leah up in the morning, went to go see her...talked quite a bit of stuff out, and I wasn't intending to go back out with her, but she reminded me that exactly one year ago that day I had just gotten out of the hospital, and a little bit before that I was fuckin up. So I thought "WOW!" put two and two together; this shit I feel has to be cycle. So fuck that we thought, I just did what I wanted to and we got back together, there honestly IS too much shit I love about her to not be with her. I just feel so schizo. I didn't WANT to break up...it's all good now though, I'm just trying to surround myself with my friends and hopefully I'll just stay goddam happy. WE ALL NEED TO BE. Everyone's so fucking down. It's this fucking place, the environment is so hostile, the weather is so gloomy, no wonder people kill themselves up here.
Leah is trying extra hard to do things differently, I don't expect that from her, but I appreciate it, I know we can get through this shit.
I'm supposed to go with Leah today to Davids...he's having a kegger party, it would be good to see him for a bit, have some bee-ah, and see some other people I haven't seen in some time. Goddam I wish i could sleep in on the weekend, I keep getting up at seven consistlently for like, 5 weeks, I hate my sleeping pattern. But I, for one, am doing all my damn homework for the past bit, and it feels pretty good, I actually know EXACTLY what we're doing in all my classes...ph33r. Chris came over and spent the night night before last, we played games, watched him beat Serious Sam: Second Encounter and I gotta say, first one was way better, but oh well. Then Wade and Leah came over and kicked it. Wade seems very unhappy, I wish I could do something to make him feel better. I'm trying to loan him some Comics-0, cuz he appreciates them. Damn, everyone is so down, I'm God, I should just be able to make it sunny and warm, but I can't cuz I'm sure that would fuck up the ecosystem. Blah.
ATTENTION! Me and Home-E Chris are finally doing something with all our bitching about computer-games and whatnot, we are making a website....yes it will be shitty-looking, but hopefully Lia will help us with some shit so it can be as pretty as her website. We don't know what we're gonna call it yet, but it's gonna fuckin RIP. We're gonna score and review games and bitch about them and have forums where you can bitch about random things, and we're thinking about adding in a girlfriend/boyfriend section where you can bitch about one-anothers wrondoings and where your significant others fall short! IT WILL BE KEWL! Dig it. And then we have this dream, (which probably won't happen) that Gamespy or some other kick ass hosting site will notice how badass our site is, and will host us as part of the computer-gaming community, hey, everyone can dream, right?
Oh, and Chris and I are planning a LAN soon, we shall select the most worthy to come game, and trade porno...yes...it will be good. But there WILL be a huge LAN of GTA2, and Starcraft whether you pussies like it or not...we'll make it all you guys VS me and Chris...and you know what the funny thing is?? WE'LL WIN. HAHAHAHAHAH! I am so full of myself. Anyways, that's the news, and I hope all you fellas get outta this goddam depressional-vortex and then your happiness will get me out of mine, too. Shit. Love all yous.
-4 |_ 3 >< 10-
P.S. -=Japscat=-
Leah is the greatest girlfriend I have not only got to date, but she's the best I could hope for, I love everything about her. A lot. But yes, there are stupid little things that are annoying that she does, but I don't give a fuck about them because she's so GREAT! That's the way it's supposed to work, but it seems that my brain is going fucking nuts. I just get annoyed, with everything, friends, girlfriend, parent especially, I just want them all to SHUT UP. But then I think "I'm not like that." Cuz I'm NOT. I love hearing what everyone has to say, I love fuckin with people, they are my drugs and allow me to resolve my problems, and keep my sanity. But shit, I have been so DOWN, it's not even like depression, I feel good about ME, I just feel like shit about everyone else. And it sucks, cuz you guys never did anything wrong.
So then I feel like shithole because to ME, Leah seems like she's unapreciative about what I do for her, and yes, she may really NOT feel unnapreciative, but it just feels that way to ME. So for the past couple of months, I've just felt really crappy inside and unhappy. Spending the day with her is fun, but it's hard to smile cuz I feel bad inside. Poop. So it just got to the point where I didn't want to feel like that anymore, so I decided to break up. Shitty. Bad. I didn't WANT to, but I didn't want to feel like crap the next day. Chris and Jl and Lindsey came over and made me feel better while I was pondering about my actions. So then I stayed over at Lindseys, and next to Leah, Lindsey knows everything about me, so she was a big help. She kinda made my thoughts a bit more clear. It's good to have friends like that. And Chris just made me feel safe and secure. So the next day I called Leah up in the morning, went to go see her...talked quite a bit of stuff out, and I wasn't intending to go back out with her, but she reminded me that exactly one year ago that day I had just gotten out of the hospital, and a little bit before that I was fuckin up. So I thought "WOW!" put two and two together; this shit I feel has to be cycle. So fuck that we thought, I just did what I wanted to and we got back together, there honestly IS too much shit I love about her to not be with her. I just feel so schizo. I didn't WANT to break up...it's all good now though, I'm just trying to surround myself with my friends and hopefully I'll just stay goddam happy. WE ALL NEED TO BE. Everyone's so fucking down. It's this fucking place, the environment is so hostile, the weather is so gloomy, no wonder people kill themselves up here.
Leah is trying extra hard to do things differently, I don't expect that from her, but I appreciate it, I know we can get through this shit.
I'm supposed to go with Leah today to Davids...he's having a kegger party, it would be good to see him for a bit, have some bee-ah, and see some other people I haven't seen in some time. Goddam I wish i could sleep in on the weekend, I keep getting up at seven consistlently for like, 5 weeks, I hate my sleeping pattern. But I, for one, am doing all my damn homework for the past bit, and it feels pretty good, I actually know EXACTLY what we're doing in all my classes...ph33r. Chris came over and spent the night night before last, we played games, watched him beat Serious Sam: Second Encounter and I gotta say, first one was way better, but oh well. Then Wade and Leah came over and kicked it. Wade seems very unhappy, I wish I could do something to make him feel better. I'm trying to loan him some Comics-0, cuz he appreciates them. Damn, everyone is so down, I'm God, I should just be able to make it sunny and warm, but I can't cuz I'm sure that would fuck up the ecosystem. Blah.
ATTENTION! Me and Home-E Chris are finally doing something with all our bitching about computer-games and whatnot, we are making a website....yes it will be shitty-looking, but hopefully Lia will help us with some shit so it can be as pretty as her website. We don't know what we're gonna call it yet, but it's gonna fuckin RIP. We're gonna score and review games and bitch about them and have forums where you can bitch about random things, and we're thinking about adding in a girlfriend/boyfriend section where you can bitch about one-anothers wrondoings and where your significant others fall short! IT WILL BE KEWL! Dig it. And then we have this dream, (which probably won't happen) that Gamespy or some other kick ass hosting site will notice how badass our site is, and will host us as part of the computer-gaming community, hey, everyone can dream, right?
Oh, and Chris and I are planning a LAN soon, we shall select the most worthy to come game, and trade porno...yes...it will be good. But there WILL be a huge LAN of GTA2, and Starcraft whether you pussies like it or not...we'll make it all you guys VS me and Chris...and you know what the funny thing is?? WE'LL WIN. HAHAHAHAHAH! I am so full of myself. Anyways, that's the news, and I hope all you fellas get outta this goddam depressional-vortex and then your happiness will get me out of mine, too. Shit. Love all yous.
-4 |_ 3 >< 10-
P.S. -=Japscat=-