Its been almost a year.
The last time I posted, it was December of last year. This probably will sound like self-loathing and self-pity, as all are accustomed to here at LJ.
So, since I posted last, I have had a few run-ins with illness, one involving a trip to an emergency room.
I am working full time in a job with a lovely glass ceiling. I find that I am using the reason for keeping it the fact that it gives me great health coverage. See above problems.
I have been realizing that I need to see a psychiatrist or psychoanalyst or something of the nature, as I seem to have depressed days and happy ones, like the rest of the world, but feel that I can't see one, as they are expensive. I don't want drugs, since they make me a zombie. Lithium again would be a bad idea in my opinion.
This self realization is coming from the fact, that for the last week or so I have began seeing a girl, that for all I can tell, has one of the best walls for her emotions I have ever seen. As a fellow mason of emotions, I understand what it took to do that kind of masterful work. It makes her hard to read. Really hard to read. I am amazed and perplexed at her ability to hide her emotions, especially for a girl of only 22. This has caused me to become somewhat infatuated with her, beyond my attempt to just try and keep it at the same level of affection shown.
Any advise or commiseration or humor at my expense is welcome here.
The above has been brought to you by my new friend codeine and the music styling's of Blue October.
So, since I posted last, I have had a few run-ins with illness, one involving a trip to an emergency room.
I am working full time in a job with a lovely glass ceiling. I find that I am using the reason for keeping it the fact that it gives me great health coverage. See above problems.
I have been realizing that I need to see a psychiatrist or psychoanalyst or something of the nature, as I seem to have depressed days and happy ones, like the rest of the world, but feel that I can't see one, as they are expensive. I don't want drugs, since they make me a zombie. Lithium again would be a bad idea in my opinion.
This self realization is coming from the fact, that for the last week or so I have began seeing a girl, that for all I can tell, has one of the best walls for her emotions I have ever seen. As a fellow mason of emotions, I understand what it took to do that kind of masterful work. It makes her hard to read. Really hard to read. I am amazed and perplexed at her ability to hide her emotions, especially for a girl of only 22. This has caused me to become somewhat infatuated with her, beyond my attempt to just try and keep it at the same level of affection shown.
Any advise or commiseration or humor at my expense is welcome here.
The above has been brought to you by my new friend codeine and the music styling's of Blue October.